What is love, what does it consist of, how does it arise and manifest? What are the varieties of love from a psychological and scientific point of view? What love and its varieties should not be confused with: the opinions of psychologists, scientists

In this article, we will reveal the concept of such a bright and subtle feeling as love. And also consider its varieties, manifestations and objects.

Each of us sooner or later asks ourselves this question. It would seem that the answer to him is obvious and simple: love is when you cannot live without another person. And we are talking not only about the innermost love between two opposite floors, but also about love for mom, dad, brother or sister. Therefore, it is worth making out what is such a thing as love.

What is love: interpretation of its occurrence

How many poems and songs are devoted to this high feeling. It was for his sake that men invited each other to a duel, and the girls ran away from his father’s house to stay next to their beloved forever. It is for the sake of love that the most unpredictable, extraordinary, but at the same time, romantic actions that only one who loves or once loved can understand are committed at the same time.

• Since childhood, each of us formed our own associations with love. For some, love is fragrant coffee in the morning, prepared by a loved one.
• For some, this is a favorite song, from the sounds of which the heart freezes and warm and tender memories embrace the soul. And for someone-this is a slight touch and awe of the heart from the fact that a loved one is simply nearby.
• How many people are so many associations. Each has its own - special and unforgettable. By the way, love is not always to the object, it can spin around various subjects. And she can even be focused on herself. True, an important factor of measure should play so that this is no longer like selfishness.
• Sometimes it even happens that a person has not known such a great feeling. There is still no single answer, why it happens. Someone sincerely believes that it depends only on the person himself, or on how much he is ready for such a bright feeling.
• Others say that readiness has nothing to do with it. The point is only in chance and produced pheromones. However, one fact remains unchanged-who really loved and was loved, that truly happy person. After all, he was given to feel one of the most beautiful feelings on Earth.
• If you connect science, then this is a feeling of attachment. But it is accompanied (especially in the first period) by the development of a large number of hormones. Which give us an elevated state of joy.
• But biologists tie to a sense of love to develop a specific smell, which attracts us to each other. They also adjoin love even some dependence, which often happens on any bad habits.
• But no one even tries to refute the fact that this is the highest feeling on Earth!

What do you need love to appear?

Many have been interested in this issue more than once. Perhaps you can do something to start love and experience this bright feeling. Although we remember the phrase from childhood that "love comes unexpectedly." Therefore, most likely, in this matter you just need to wait for her with open arms. But the married couples need to work hard for several years while working on yourself.

• According to one of the studies of the popular psychologist Elein Hatfield, so that the real, sincere and inspiring love that gives the meaning of life appears, the presence of such factors is necessary:
  • the right time. No wonder wise people say that "everything is their place and time." Love is such a phenomenon that arises from an unknown place and when you do not expect it at all. You can’t be 100 % ready for her arrival. But you can open a heart and thoughts so that she can knock and get inside when the time comes;
  • similarity in personal characteristics or general affairs. Agree that people who have common interests, common views on life or common positions have much more chances to build strong and long relationships. A couple with various hobbies will either have too short -term relationships, who are requiring too hard work.
• Therefore, when you begin to experience warm feelings for a person, you should pay attention to two key questions.
  • The first is the values \u200b\u200bthat each of you relies on. You can easily learn about them from heart conversations by simply asking a question directly. The main thing is that they coincide. If so, then the rest is not so important and, most importantly, solved.
  • And the second question is whether you have joint classes. Psychologists proven that when the couple is engaged in something together, relationships are stronger and rise to a new level.

What love consists of: Brief description

Love, like any other concept, has its characteristic components. Most scientists and psychologists involved in the study of this phenomenon are inclined to the opinion that love consists of three interconnected elements.

• Obligations - This is the basis of any relationship. They can be expressed in many aspects, starting from the household direction (for example, cook and clean for a loved one) and ending with the moral side. That is, to be faithful to your soul mate.
  • Moreover, this is the only one of all components that over time only increases and turns into one of the most important aspects for true love. But it is worth noting that it appears far from first of all.
• Intimacy - This is an integral part of love. It is not only about sex and caresses, but about how much a person is ready to be a support and support for his person.
  • The longer people are at the same time, the more intimacy increases. By the way, as soon as something unpredictable happens in life, when the difficulties that appear must be overcome together, the level of intimacy is very well manifested.
• Passion or desire Appears at the very beginning. This is an integral sense of sexual attraction. Yes, the highest point of its development is the beginning of a relationship. And the longer they are, the more passion fades. But this does not mean that it completely disappears. It’s just that the couple already over time come to the forefront of other aspects.

What are the varieties of love?

According to recent studies of American scientists and psychologists, love can be so different that at first glance you can’t say what a drop or chemistry is like this bright feeling.

Psychological division

As a result of research and surveys, it turned out that love can have a number of varieties. Moreover, some of them are absolutely controversial in terms of their signs.

• Sympathyit is based only on one element of love - intimacy. It would seem that everything is present: a certain spiritual intimacy, a sense of tenderness, affection for a person. But there is no most important - devotion.
  • When a person experiences sympathy, this does not mean at all that it is aimed at only one person. He can simultaneously sympathize with several representatives of the opposite sex. And if a person loves, then he loves only one. Therefore, sympathy is more like the first step towards falling in love.
• Romantic love. Such love is characterized by uncontrolled passion, attraction and intimacy. This is exactly the period when a person sees his object of love in “pink glasses”, not noticing his shortcomings, but only praising his advantages.
  • In some ways, such love is like sympathy, because there is also no question of devotion. The basis of such love is physical attraction and lack of emotional connection and intimacy. But it is directed to one person.
  • In other words, this is the first stage of love, which enhances sympathy. As a rule, it is about this type of love that is often described in popular works of music and cinema.
• Comradely loveit may have several interpretations. Often it is young people, not wanting to bind themselves with relationships, they bypass a serious relationship. Argumentizing this by the fact that a person is at the level of only a friend. But at the same time, without refusing physical intimacy.
• But friendly or friendly love can be another, manifested only in a combination of obligations and intimacy. Often it is characteristic of couples that have lived together for many years. It was when their passion was already “quiet”, but affection and responsibilities remained to each other.
• By the way, love for your friend or girlfriend also approaches this criterion. Only in this case there is no proximity, but devotion goes to the highest level.

Important: this is an important component of love! But you need to go to it through many years and even tests.

• Love that does not have any meaning. Often it is also called meaningless or platonic love. It is characterized by a rather unusual combination: strong passion and faithful devotion. But any union must constantly be fed with intimacy, emotional and spiritual communications.
  • In case of their absence, over the years, only obsession with a person increases. Now we are talking about the second variation of love. True, the removal of partners is also provided.
  • But sometimes love becomes meaningless when the couple has already lived together for several years. And due to domestic problems, the intimacy and proximity of partners faded into the background.
• Obsession or enhanced attachment. This is exactly the kind of love that should be afraid. Because the results of such love are unforeseen for anyone. This happens when one of the partners is not ready to come to terms with parting. Such love over time turns into a psychological disease.
  • Obsession may be different. When people want each other and understand this "at first sight." Something like a fleeting attraction, which is characterized by the presence of strong passion and hobby, but there is no intimacy and obligations.
• But one cannot help but touch the reduced version of obsession - attachment. After all, this is an integral part of any relationship. It is on it that the fidelity of partners rests. But it often happens that the habit of love wins, where couples live only because of duties.
  • By the way, attachment is closely intertwined with a large patienceand some service each other. More precisely, on the way to true love, they should become one. These are the most difficult periods of all couples when you learn to take into account other people's desires and hear a person, and not just listen.
• Perfect loveWhich most couples strive for. This is a manifestation of the ideal combination of all the necessary components that were said earlier: intimacy, devotion and passion.
  • To build such a relationship, it is necessary to make a lot of effort. But even greater efforts are needed to save this love.

But scientists have slightly reduced the list

• As a result of love, we all give something, and get something in return. And so science identified two main directions:
  • descending love that is characteristic of parents or those who give more;
  • and outgoing, which is expressed by the desire to get more. This, by the way, is often the relations of children to parents.
• But the love between two people scientists refer to sexual desire. Recall that all living nature is based on the continuation of the genus, which is the meaning of attraction to each other.

But do not confuse love with the following characteristics

• Manipulation Not only is not considered love, but also kills it. The main phrases of the manipulator are always reduced to personal benefits. Moreover, they are always to blame for all troubles.
  • We give a rude example. The couple are already five together, and the rings on the finger are not there. And now the man, wanting to get away from the wedding, shifts the guilt to half. “You will stop gnawing your nails, then the wedding will be” or “We will finish the repair, then we will play the wedding and we will start the children.”
  • Remember, the manipulator will always have a new excuse. And when a person loves truly, he will never use feelings for you as a manipulation weapon.
• Egoism Or when a person simply allows himself to love. The couple should always be equally equally. The exception is the relationship of parents and children. Between two people, the interests of both should always be taken into account. And the egoist does not consider it necessary to listen and, moreover, take into account the wishes of his second half.
• Lust Or when it overflows crazy desire. You cannot imagine a further life together with him, and you are not at all interested in any aspects from his life. There is just a desire to surrender to a sexual impulse. There is no place for love in this position, but only passion. But when the fire flashes quickly, it also blocks quickly.

What is love: a brief and clear manifestation of it

Repeatedly we heard that love is expressed not in words, but in actions and relation itself. No, affectionate words are an integral part of love, but they should be sincere and real. To understand what love is, it is worth making out its basic manifestations.

• Love is expressed in words. But these are not only affectionate and diminutive names, but also the words of sincere admiration, gratitude and support.
  • As well as some tips and even instructions. After all, you need to not only support, but also help solve the problem. And, of course, the words of comfort, understanding and sincere compliments.
• But actions They say much more. For example, making pleasant events just like that. Let it be even banal coffee in the morning or written sweet SMS with a wish for a good day.
  • It is also protection not only from competitors, but also of any external hardships. As well as timely support and support.
  • Provision of the right to choose and lack of restrictions on personal space. Here in such trifles it manifests itself, at what level the pair has trust.
  • The desire to delight and give gifts. Yes, the same favorite flowers, soft toys, going to the cinema for your favorite movie or a romantic evening together. Moreover, even married couples should not forget about such an important component of love.

Important: to be able to forgive, probably, the most important reflection of your love for a person. After all, we are not robots, so everyone tends to make mistakes. And only the one who really loves will be able to cross through his pride. Ask for forgiveness if he made a mistake, or forgive and understand if he is asked for forgiveness for the deed.

• Love is expressed and in the principleswhich you are ready to refuse in order to maintain relations with a person. And this:
  • responsibility or effort to master this property;
  • honesty that expressed not only in words, but also in actions and actions;
  • justice, if this is true love, not love. When not only idolized, not noticing the shortcomings and incorrect actions, but also accepted with all the disadvantages;
  • correct placement of priorities and preferences. After all, you need to think not only about your desires;
  • fidelity and devotion are the most important requirement of any relationship and any kind of love.
• And, of course, love is reflected and in a relationship to the second half. It is characterized by:
  • friendliness, friendliness and openness;
  • respectful attitude. By the way, this applies to betrayal. If a person respects himself and his beloved, then he will never allow himself to make such a humiliating act in relation to his beloved passion;
  • friendliness - that is, a sincere desire to make another person happy in all possible and accessible ways;
  • attentive, sensitive and careful attitude. When your object is bad, it is bad for you. And you will try to help him with all your might;
  • tenderness and affection;
  • selflessness, responsiveness and willingness to make concessions;
  • condescending and willingness to forgive. But in the framework of the permissible value that everyone sets for himself.

Who do we love: objects of love

We repeat that love can be directed to different objects. And it is also expressed in different ways. Therefore, it is worth dividing it and understanding the meaning of every love for various living elements.

• Love for yourself It gets first. No, now we are not talking about selfishness. But each of us must love and respect himself. It is from this that the love of others arises and begins. If you want to make contact with the outside world, then establish harmony personally with you.

Important: there is no need to expect love from someone if you do not love yourself. No one will love you the way you will do. Therefore, first of all, you need to learn love yourself. No wonder the well -known commandment says: "Love the neighbor as himself." Only by understanding and accepting your shortcomings, you can learn to love others and receive love from them.

• Mother's love - This is the most powerful and devoted love. It is characterized by a great donation to its interests and even life principles. But love for children comes from the father. True, the lack of biological and spiritual intimacy plays a big role. After all, dad is connected with the baby only by social factors. But it cannot be noted, and she also puts on the top of the health and well -being of her children.
• Love for parents Bend us from birth. Recall that it is more directed towards itself, because she is used to get more. Thus, nature is arranged that parents protect their children to the very end. But in response, they receive the care and respect of their children.
• Romantic and erotic love To the partner. It is with this type that the Association of Love in most people takes place. We have already mentioned its main components and possible variations above.

Important: recall that true love should pass 7 stages from falling in love and passion to patience, humility and friendship. By the way, every couple should go through the stage of disgust. It is after this moment that the direct road to love begins.

• There is also fraternal love or love for people. She discards passion and other familiar components of erotic love. And consists mainly of trust, responsibility, care and great respect. An important component is also a desire for self -sacrifice. By the way, often such personalities are engaged in charity work.
• And you can’t still pass by religious love - love for God. We will not go into this topic, but the main aspect of such love is a great faith!

It is important to remember, if you sincerely love a person, you will love him with all the zest and oddities, and in no case will you set up for yourself. Otherwise, love will turn into manipulation. And true love is characterized by compromises and concessions. After all, it was then that loving people are able to survive the most beautiful feelings in the world that are incomparable.

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