Why doesn't the child want to go to school? How to instill in a child a love of school?

Children's experiences and fears associated with school. The opinions of psychologists and the children themselves.

Faced with real difficulties at school, parents and children begin to doubt that school years is the best time in life. What to do if the child does not want to go to school?

How to learn to communicate with a child?

And why, in fact, the child should want to go to school? Among the arguments that parents and other adults try to explain to the baby why he should dream of this most often the following theses are found:

All children go to school. In response, the child has a fair protest, because he is a personality and at his young age no longer wants to be just an element of “gray mass”. But in the depths of his soul, one more feeling wakes up - a primitive, embedded at the genetic level, the fear of being expelled from the flock and stay beyond the side of life. Therefore, this phrase is nothing more than intimidation.

You will like it at school, I loved (loved) to go to school. Most likely, adults do not lie when they say that. But it is necessary to make an amendment that over the years, everything bad is erased in memory. And that means this is not a true judgment

• Look Mashenka likes to study and she gets good marks. In addition, these words can be accompanied by a malicious smile
• With such phrases, adults pushing the child to the fact that he should participate in the competition. It may not be bad, but again this is motivation only for the guided instincts, “animal”, part of the personality, in no way connected with the high feelings and aspirations that make a person a person
• The school is interesting, they will teach you a lot there. The only absolutely true thesis that does not go against the internal aspirations of the child and corresponds to the ideas of Christian morality and secular humanism

The child does not want to go to school, reasons

• The reasons why children like to go to school can be accommodated in two theses: firstly, there is communication with other children close in spirit, and secondly, you can get knowledge and expand your horizons at school.

The reasons why the child may constantly flatly refuse to go to school, respectively, also two:

• Problems in the team. The conflict can be with the teacher, a group of older children or with a specific classmate. But if the child does not want to go to school, then it injures him so much and often that positive communication with other people does not allow to restore mental balance

• Disappointment at school, as in a place where you can get knowledge. Every child is facing this sooner or later, and if the first-graders are all convinced that they are taught something useful at school, then older children inevitably begin to ask acute questions, like: why teach 15 dates from a writer’s biography by heart if they forget them tomorrow or why the textbooks of recent history are so often corresponded
• And if the child at this moment does not yet perceive the school certificate as the necessary formality, then he inevitably loses interest in school, and perhaps even begins to skip it

Reasons why the kids do not want to go to school

The first reason - the child experiences psychological discomfort in the school. Perhaps external factors are tin: incompetence and sharpness of the teacher or the behavior of one of the students going beyond. It happens that one uncontrollable child hits and offends the whole class

Sometimes the reason for poor adaptation in the team and in the child himself, perhaps he was given to school too early and he is simply not able to hatch lessons or he still does not know how to communicate with other children.

The second reason is that the child is boring at school. Children begin to teach letters and numbers long before school, so in elementary grades they feel like a child prodigy that fell into an institution for lagging children. They know and can do everything that the teacher talks about, in the lessons they yawn and miss.

But, a talented teacher will always find ways to interest children with a competent and unique presentation of new material. Therefore, if there is such an opportunity, teach your children smart and talented teachers.

The third reason is that the child is not able to learn the school curriculum. Big problems, when parents are called to school and declare that their child needs to be left in the second year or transferred to a special school often begin with trifles.

Does you have something that, meeting an unfamiliar word in the text, you miss it? When this happens with the student, he can stop understanding all further material. Therefore, it is very important to notice the same knowledge in time in time.

Why do not middle school students and high school students do not want to go to school?

• In adolescence, time seems to accelerate the move, you need to catch everything at once: fall in love, lust for friends, prove that you are already an adult, show your individuality, build plans for the future
• It is not surprising that study often goes into the background. In addition, the most unpleasant social conflicts are possible at this age. Many films that are very difficult to perceive and are remembered for a long time shot precisely about adolescents
• The well -known film "Scarecrow" is perhaps significantly inferior in terms of cruelty and a degree of feelings to the Estonian film "Class" released in 2007. Among the Russian films of similar topics, the films “The top” and “Burns me behind the plinth” deserve attention

Adults often perceive the departure of adolescents in some of the subcultures, like innocent pranks. But this is rather a cry for help. The philosophy of Emo implies constant melancholy and the desire to take accounts with life. Goths wear black as a sign of mourning around the world, which roll into the abyss. The hopelessness and cruelty in the texts of the rappers often corresponds to the real world in which the teenager lives.

What to do if a child experiences tension in school?

Try not to raise a child from bed in the morning with screams and kicks. Their mood at school depends on the mood of which the children will wake up with. You can wake up without screams. A favorite song or your favorite cartoon can serve as an alarm clock.

• Always give children about 10 minutes to transition from sleep to wakefulness
• Put the children in school fruits and chocolate. This will help to recharge with the energy between the lessons
• After school, do not force lessons immediately. It is better if they take a walk on the street, and then take up their homework

Psychodiagnostics: Why doesn't the child want to go to school?

Play with the baby in dolls. If there are many toys in the house, invite the child to choose from them, mom, dad, teacher, classmates. The brighter and more positive the image of toys will be, the better. The choice of toys that are perceived negatively, for example, a tooth dinosaur or sorceress indicates a negative attitude of the child to the person whom this toy symbolizes.

Talk to the child. You can determine how much it is injured by school classes you can choose the time when your son or daughter is cheerful and calmly plays and without raising your voice, say: "Tomorrow you need to go to school." Follow the reaction. Perhaps, carried away by the game, he simply will not pay attention to your words, perhaps he will overwhelm: “Again this school!” And the most sad option would be this - the child will be scared and begin to cry.

The tears of the child are an expression of extreme grief, discontent and resentment. Sometimes parents simply do not pay attention to a crying child. And this is on the one hand correctly because crying can be the method of manipulating their parents themselves and, on the other hand, is wrong because it may be a cry for help. It happens that the children themselves leave talk on the topic of school and unwillingness to go there. In this case, you yourself will need to look for the reason for this behavior.

How to understand what is happening to the child?

Perhaps at school a child is experiencing negative emotions? Such as resentment, fear, anger, sadness, longing? You may doubt that a small child can experience such emotions to worry.

Maybe and how, maybe. Therefore, the first thing a parent should do, who wants to understand the situation is to discard all his previous ideas and try to look at things in a new way.

Sometimes, children at school become objects of real terror, both from teachers and from children. It is impossible to explain the reason why one or another child becomes a scapegoat in the classroom.

Why do children go into flocks begin to terrorize other children? The world of adolescents is more cruel than the world of adults. Schoolchildren have no freedom to choose to go to school or not, perhaps if you came across working with the same problems, then you would have changed it for a long time.

But children, without adult support, do not have such an opportunity, so they have something in common with prisoners, hence the cruel rules of survival in the team.

How to eliminate the reason why the child does not want to go to school?

Teach the child to defend yourself. The cause of terror at school may be hidden at the genetic level and is laid in the formula “the strongest wins”. And perhaps it is in improper education of children.

Because trying to teach children letters and counting, parents miss a subject such as kindness, the ability to empathize and compliance someone else's pain. And what if your kind and compassionate child fell into the team, where they offend just for such qualities of the soul? To teach him to be angry and build up fists?

Probably, it is not necessary to teach to be angry and soulless, but about the ability to fight off the offenders can just think. Because starting from a young age, a person should be able to stand not only for himself, but also for the weaker one.

Help me find new friends. Another option for leaving this situation is to visit a child of all kinds of circles and sections. This is important because getting into a new friendly team, the child begins to understand that there are places in which, communicating with peers, he can feel comfortable.

Comfortable communication will also contribute to the fascination with any occupation. There is absolutely no difference what this hobby will be. Singing, music, dancing, sewing soft toys, sports sections need a child not only for the development of useful skills, but also to teach communication with peers.

Psychological defense. Teach the child to respond to the negative attacks of others in such a way as to smooth out the conflict as much as possible. There is a psychological theory of transactional analysis that will help to lay out any dialogue on the shelves and choose the most correct reaction to the replica of the interlocutor. The book of M. Litvak “Psychological Aikido” is probably suitable for a child, since there are few pages and many specific examples in it.

In order to be aware of what is happening with your child, you need constant communication with him. It is important not just to ask the children: "How are there in the affairs at school?" And then run into the kitchen, and take this occupation for half an hour or an hour.

It is important for parents to learn to be a friend for their children. A friend who is not scared and not ashamed to tell about all the insults accumulated at the school. A friend who will understand everything will forgive everything, tells everything and who always loves.

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