If the child does not obey parents, then this phenomenon is a legal basis. What development processes affect obedience and what can lead to children's whims and tantrums in the behavior of parents - an article will tell about all this.
Content
- Why doesn't the child obey?
- What to do if the child does not obey at 2 years?
- What to do if a 5 -year -old child does not obey?
- Video: What to do if the child is capricious
- What to do if the child does not obey at the age of 7?
- Video: raising children 3-7 years old
- Psychologist's advice: if the child does not obey
- Video: Naughty child. School of Komarovsky
Parents sooner or later come to face childhood disobedience and, although each child has different whims, all mothers and dads are equally asked: “What to do with a naughty child?” To turn children's hysteria and endless crying into obedience and diligence is a real art, the basics of which we will try to comprehend and find answers to key questions of educating a small person.
Why doesn't the child obey?
The reason for children's disobedience lies in the features of the development of the child. Firstly, the child, having been born, seeks to find out and comprehend as much as possible: he is incredibly interested in why the iron is hot, what will happen if you pull the plates from the table and what is lurking in the closet. And the fact that mother forbids to study the world makes it even more interesting and the desire to "school" flares up with renewed vigor.
Secondly, the process of development of the child does not occur gradually, but in a spasmodic, which provokes a phenomenon such as crises. The crisis is manifested in a change in the behavior of the child, moodiness, the desire to be independent, to argue with the will of adults. Such phenomena lasts shortly and pass as suddenly as they appear.
In childhood, psychologists identify several crises manifested by disobedience: crisis of 1 year, 3, 5 and 7 years.
The kid in your family is not a creature that will once grow and become a person, he is already a person. And since each person is characterized by their own character, zeal, desires and manners, it is completely unforgivable for parents to restrain these children's impulses with diverse “impossible”.
What to do if the child does not obey at 2 years?
If your two -year -old baby completely refuses to listen to you, endures endlessly and very complicates your life, then you must first think about your own perception of the situation and your behavior. What does the parent do when the child rushes from corner to corner around the room, scatter toys and tears books? The most common reaction of mom and dad in such situations is a scream. This is fundamentally wrong.
The child who studies the world does not understand the word "impossible." After all, it is unreasonably rational explanation - he does not understand why it is impossible. If the baby does not respond to prohibitions, then maybe there were too many of them, maybe at every step the child meets the ill -fated taboos?
In order to educate the child obedient and not break his will to know the world to adhere to certain rules:
- never allow yourself to switch to a scream, and even more so obscene words - the child absorbs like a sponge, all your expressions
- physical punishment methods - an attribute of barbarians and people who do not understand anything in pedagogy - in no case should they be resorted to
- always explain to the child why he is forbidden to be something (“Mashenka, you can’t touch the iron, because it is hot, a burn will appear on the handle, which will be very sick”)
- make a child's habitat safe so that there is no need for prohibitions
- in each room, the child should have no more than three prohibitions
- try to show your child the correct handling of things, then he will not use them at random
No recommendations and tips will help parents in the difficult process of raising a child if they do not reckon with the fact that the baby is a person who requires a proper relationship and respect for his desires. At the same time, it is important not to become objects of children's manipulation and not lead to a capricious child.
What to do if a 5 -year -old child does not obey?
The disobedience of the child at 5 years old is an indicator that the educational work of parents is carried out poorly. After all, if the whims of one -year -old crumbs are caused by natural rhythms and the specifics of development, then a five -year -old child in his behavior fully shows the shortcomings of the educational process - he behaves as he was taught or provoked.
This age is characterized by the fact that the child learns the world in the form of games that now become role-playing or group. Children at the age of 5 themselves come up with what to play and how, and in their game all improvised means from kitchen utensils and ending with a completely unintentional cosmetics and household chemicals can be used.
Do not neglect the game for pedagogical purposes. On the one hand, the child playing independently is very convenient for the mother, but on the other hand, the gameplay can be used for educational purposes.
When playing with the baby, tell him about the world, about the rules of behavior, about how you should not behave. In such an easy and unobtrusive form, the child will much better learn the rules and prohibitions than from an endless scream and punishment.
If the child is too indulging, then an effective method of correcting behavior can be an interesting hobby that mother will fill his idleness. Offer the baby to help you in the kitchen, giving some kind of “important”, safe and simple task.
Praise the baby for the work done and encourage. In addition, fairy tales will help to calm the naughty child, which give examples of bad and good deeds.
It is very important, talking with a five -year -old child, to show respect and communicate on him on an equal footing.
Do not emphasize that you are an adult, and he is small and stupid. Discuss his problems, talk about what the child likes, does not like, but do not use the words that the child is wrong and does wrong-help do it right and tell me how better. The baby will be very pleased that they speak with him as an adult and understands him.
Video: What to do if the child is capricious
What to do if the child does not obey at the age of 7?
With the onset of the age of seven, the so -called crisis of seven years comes. This can occur a little earlier or later, because the formation of personality is an individual process and only conditional frames can exist here. In any case, 7 years of difficult age, during which even the most flexible children can show character.
There are several reasons for disobedience at the age of 7 years:
- Change of social role
The child is used to the fact that he is a son or daughter, grandson or granddaughter, and at the age of seven, another role arises - a student of elementary grades. The situation, a team of peers, responsibilities - at school everything is new and unusual for the child, it is necessary to adapt to everything.
Therefore, during this period, some nervousness and change may arise in the mood, which, in turn, provokes whims, tantrums and deeds, which are contrary to the will of the parents.
- Lack of parental attention
Parents begin to treat a seven-year-old child, to some extent, to an adult: he can independently solve some household and personal issues, does not require him to play with him, in addition to the authority of parents, the authority of the teacher and peers appears.
But with all this, he still remains a child who needs the love and care of mom and dad, their attention and joint leisure. When all the child does not receive this, it is logical to become a reaction, in which an obedient child will recall parents, does not obey and ignore the requirements.
- Leadership skills
If a seven-year-old child has pronounced leadership qualities, then his disobedience can be caused by an unwillingness to obey anyone. It is important not to succumb to a small manipulator and emphasize that the dominant role belongs to parents, but at the same time it is necessary to show loyalty and not “break” the will of the child.
- Resentment and anger at parents
Negativism and disobedience can be caused by more banal causes. For example, if the child was very offended (they didn’t buy something, they didn’t let the cartoon look or play with friends), then the reaction in which the child will want to “repay” parents to their unusualness to their will and instructions.
A seven -year -old child is no longer a baby who cries and acts up for all sorts of little things. If the child does not obey parents, then you should look for the reason in the personal experiences of the child. Solving the problem will help to monitor the behavior of the child and conversation with him.
After talking with a child in a calm tone in a favorable atmosphere, you can find mutual understanding with him.
Video: raising children 3-7 years old
Psychologist's advice: if the child does not obey
Regardless of how many disobedience to a child is a sign that he has his own opinion and he will never be a led and conformal person who will accept the opinion of others as his own. Therefore, one should not try to suppress his disobedience in the root, making the child a supple puppet.
There are useful rules for parents of naughty children who will help to find the path to harmony with the baby:
- you should not show aggression for a naughty child, because this can bring the opposite effect
- do not try to "punish" a naughty child with an ostentatious indifference
- pay the child as much attention as possible, talk to him and explain that the baby is interesting
- do not give in to the child's attempts to manipulate and command you
- express the requirements in the form of requests, gently and tactfully
- show a positive example of behavior to the child (after all, if you yourself do not comply with the rules that you establish for the child, will he follow them?)
- during crisis periods, the child should not be read for his behavior-this is a natural indicator of development and whims will pass in a month or second.
Video: Naughty child. School of Komarovsky
A good article, but there is such a question if the child listens to the mother and does not listen to the father? What to do?
Such behavior of a child can be caused by various reasons. For example, perhaps, the father does not have such authority as a mother, is softer in matters of education, or vice versa, mom can mildly affect the child, persuasion and affection, while the father shows excess pressure and rudeness. The child’s age is important in this matter, because for each period its own behaviors are characteristic.
Tell me, what if the child is 5 years old, and his crisis does not pass? We are trying to solve everything with love, conversations, but he still does not obey and, the feeling that he does everything for evil. Will he develop this moment or should it turn to specialists for help? Thanks in advance for the answer.
If this is really a crisis, then it will certainly pass through a certain period of time (usually 1-2 months), which must simply be survived. But such behavior can be caused by character traits that were formed under the influence of improper upbringing: the child was spared and indulged in everything, many pranks allowed, manipulating adults, etc. What exactly is his actions “sold in spite”, give a specific example?
Thank you for an interesting article) I think, first of all, it is very important in addition to the psychological approach, to eliminate the reason for the disobedience, which can be hidden (as it was with us) in the shaking of the nervous system. In addition to the visits to the psychologist, Baby also gave the Mishka formula to calm, well, all sorts of different soothing teas, such as lemon balm, chamomile, etc. The situation improved markedly, the nerves advanced and the child became more obedient. But now, in order to avoid such problems, we are very strictly filtering what cartoons he watches, because it was precisely because of them that they encountered this situation.