How to convince a person that he is wrong?

How to convince a person that he is wrong?

Despite the statement that everyone has their own truth - there are situations when it is necessary to explain and convey to the person that he is wrong. In this article, we will analyze the situations when it is worth convincing a person, and when it is worth stepping aside and not climb with his subjective “right” opinion. And we will also tell you how to convince a person that he is wrong, and how to help leave a difficult situation.

Is it necessary to explain to the person that he is wrong?

Given our mentality, the question is how to convince a person that he is wrong, arises many times more often than an elementary question - whether it is necessary to explain to a person that he is wrong. So, let's look at the examples. Before explaining to a person that he is wrong, ask yourself a number of questions:

  • How exactly does this affect your life? For example, moving to another city "to start everything from scratch because the heart tells." Or moving to another city, since there is two times more work there, as well as the possibility of acquiring the best housing conditions and the prospects of the future;
  • How exactly does this affect the life of your loved ones? For example, if the sister’s husband does not drop alcohol, then she will have to divorce and raise three children on her own. Or if the sister’s husband paints green, and not in orange, according to Tibetan knowledge, luck will be haunted by him, taking into account the fact that neither his sister nor her husband is interested in Tibetan teachings. In the first case, it is really worth taking a man to a dialogue, and in the second - leave a couple and not voice his opinion until they give you a word;
  • How exactly will this affect the life of a person to whom you want to convey that he is wrong? For example, to explain to a friend that buying an apartment in a mortgage with her husband playing in a casino is a true chance to stay with children without money and without housing. Or explain to her friend that her new guy is not suitable for a serious relationship, since he, walking along the street, looks back at other girls.
Think about whether it is necessary to explain to the person that he is wrong?
Think about whether it is necessary to explain to the person that he is wrong?

So, if the issues are vital, and the life and well -being of a person depends on their outcome - to convince a person that he is wrong - a very necessary and useful thing. In other cases, it is recommended to do this:

  • Do you want to hear my advice about this?
  • Do you want to know my opinion about that?
  • Do you want to know how I see this situation?

And only after an affirmative answer should the dialogue continue. Calmly, without unnecessary emotions with an extremely constructive look at the situation. If the opponent tells you that your opinion has ceased to be interesting - do not go into conflict, sometimes people need to go their way, stuffing cones and making a number of mistakes. Remember that you also think through the prism of your life, and your opinion can also be incorrect. After all, the titanium was built by professionals, and the ark is an amateur.

Goodwill is the best way to enter trust and get the opportunity to convince a person in his wrongness
Goodwill is the best way to enter trust and get the opportunity to convince a person in his wrongness

What do people do when they are wrong?

Before you understand the question of how to convince a person that he is wrong, let's consider the classical behavior of a person when he is wrong, but does not want to recognize his wrongness, or does not want to realize that his actions and thoughts are wrong.

  • Continues to act at its discretion, despite the exhortations of all around;
  • Loudly, actively, sometimes irrationally tries to prove to everyone others that he is right. (If you so want to prove to a person that he is wrong, think if you yourself are in this situation);
  • Closes from the whole world, stopping any communication, so as not to listen to constructive opinion and do not doubt their actions and thoughts;
  • It consults with everyone around and, it seems, even listens to the opinion, but at the same time continues to act differently;
  • When smart people understand that they are wrong, and value communication - they apologize and recognize their wrongness. If they do not value communication, they ignore communication;
  • They are angry with the situation and take an aquity to others;
  • Ignore the problem and do nothing. If they turn to them, they listen silently and do not answer anything.
A scream is a true way that a person closes and refuses to listen to your arguments
A scream is a true way that a person closes and refuses to listen to your arguments

How to explain to a person that he is wrong?

Now we will analyze the question of how to convince a person that he is wrong. Remember, most likely, you will have only one chance, so take a responsibly and prepare for the question: prepare in advance:

  • Preparation and collection of information. So, you already know that for starters you need to understand exactly whether it is worth convincing a person in your error, and most importantly - whether the resulting result will be, and this is an important aspect in life, and not another way to develop demagogy between interlocutors. If the dialogue is more constructive from collecting information, deal with this issue in advance;
  • The correctness of time. If this is a really important question, then for him you need to allocate both time and a place for conversation. The situation that has arisen is spontaneous, and the dialogue on this topic is not in place - tell the person that you would like to return to discuss this issue, but later. Agree on a place and time. For example, you visited the information from your husband and categorically disagree with her. Mark, and when you go home, tell me that you would like to discuss this issue in more detail at convenient for both time. Or, before going to bed in a calm atmosphere, raise this topic;
  • Keep calm. His own opponent. As soon as you start starting - ask to lower the intensity of passions and if it does not work, agree on the transfer of dialogue;
  • Be prepared that you will bring arguments to your point of view and abandon your argument. You cannot answer “oh everything” either with tears, or switch to a scream. Exceptionally constructive and meaningful answers with which it is much more difficult to argue;
  • Impartiality and a certain detachment. The closer you feel the topic, the more difficult it is to withstand the pace of conversation. Yes, and you should never forget that you can be as convinced of your innocence as the opponent. And finding a middle ground will be more difficult if you do not observe impartiality. If a person begins to start - stop, close his mouth and listen to a person, comprehend that he informed you, and after that, return to the conviction of a person again;
  • The causes of the point of view of the interlocutor. Where and how we grew up, our life experience, read books, watched films are all our base on which we build our lives, and points of view are based exclusively on this. Think for what reason the interlocutor has such a point of view, and you can easier to find counterarguments;
  • Pay attention to the temperament, nature and stubbornness of the interlocutor. One can reach one, being friendly, to the other - showing coldness and detachment. There are no universal ways, but there are options for which you can pay attention to;
  • The dialogue is built on the situation, act, planning the future. And never, you hear, never criticize a person. This is the only way you can influence the situation. Criticizing a person - you will challenge the negative and denial;
  • Outline the situation that may turn out if you act in this way or another. Tell us about the advantages and bonuses that a person will receive by making the right choice. And after that, outline the future, as you see it if a person acts in his own way;
  • No dictatorship. You always leave the solution for a person. Even if a person is wrong, but he is an adult - he has the right to dispose of his life at his discretion. But if you are dependent on the decision, then you can report that if you are uncomfortable, your paths diverge. For example: “Dear, I understand that buying an apartment is a very meaningful act, but a mortgage is a responsibility for 15-20 years, and I am not ready for this. I want to see the world and show this world to our child, and I am ready to do it with you, but if you make a mortgage, I'm afraid, after a while we will not be along the way ... ”;
  • Smel down the conflict, problem, dispute. The phrases are ideal: “It seems to me ...”, “I want it to be better ...”, “You have the right to make a decision yourself, but if my opinion is interested in ...”, “Changes will affect me, so I would like you to listen to mine opinion ... ";
  • The Sandwich method is a great option for such a conversation. It is very simple - speak pleasant, praise, then discuss the conflict situation, and then praise again. And all this is in one sentence. For example: “Dear you are so strong, I am delighted that you can protect me. But yesterday you tried to fight with strangers on the street, and this could lead to sad, and maybe fatal consequences. I do not want this to happen to happen, I am insanely worried about you, but I am still touched, how brave and ready for everything for me! ”

And, of course, it is worth remembering your authority. He is deserved for years. The more authoritative the person, the more chance that they will listen to him. And if you have repeatedly been caught on lies, incorrect tips, etc. - Do not be surprised that all your arguments pass by your ears.

The wisdom of a woman is in patience and help to a man to understand where he is wrong
The wisdom of a woman is in patience and help to a man to understand where he is wrong

How to explain to a man that he is wrong?

Relations of the couple is a rather complex living organism, for the harmonious existence of which many components are important. And correctly convey to his man that he is wrong - an art that should be mastered long before marriage.

So, how to convince a person that he is wrong if this man is your man (guy, husband, lover, etc.):

  • Think about the situation and your status. In the status of whom will you give explanations? For example, for a mistress, it is unacceptable for a man to come on dates late and in a bad irritated mood. And for the wife it is unacceptable so that the husband does not plan a vacation for the family, or does not call, for example, when he finished work. The wife can and should be included in the distribution of the family budget, but in the status of the girl, comments and tips on how best to the guy to distribute his salary will meet, to put it mildly, with irony in the eyes of a man;
  • Think about the degree of importance of the problem, what exactly the man is wrong. Divide the problems into three parts: the disadvantages of a man (that he cannot change in himself), the unworthy behavior of a man (actions, actions, conversations in relation to you), external factors (but here it is important how a man will solve these issues). The essence of the conversation changes depending on the situation;
  • For example, if a man works as a locksmith, and you always dreamed of the Maldives. Perceive the situation as a feature, if you want, as a disadvantage of a man that he is unlikely to be able to change. Like, for example, your growth, or vegetation on the chest. You can conduct conversations, or be silent, but its financial situation will be replaced only with a radical change of work. And such decisions are made exclusively by a person personally, without advice from the outside. You can decide for yourself how dear a person is for you, and are you ready to deal with its features and accept advantages and disadvantages;
  • The unworthy behavior of a man is what you need to carefully talk about. For example, incorrect distribution of income, but it is worthwhile to understand that it is in your opinion. To be drunk home in the morning, or smoking in bed, knowing that the smell of cigarettes is unpleasant for you in principle. That is, the unworthy behavior of a man is a number of his actions that are easily regulated by a man, having only desire for this. This is what you can work with. But to discuss the issue calmly, offering reasonable alternatives;
  • External factors. For example, a trip to work in another country. A good option on the one hand, and problematic on the other hand. On the one hand, this is separation from the family, and global changes, etc. But on the other hand, if there is no way to earn worthy money in the native settlement - your man is well done, and wants to move forward. Another question, perhaps you should think about moving the whole family, or establish any time frame. He wants to go to work for a year, and you think that he is wrong, and the family should not be separated for more than a month;
  • Never find out the relationship with your man in public. Never say that your man is wrong at the time when he is drunk, tired, he only crossed the threshold of the house, with temperature, etc. Wait for a favorable time and place. You both must be calm, balanced, resting so that the conversation is constructive, and not emotionally negative;
  • Do not forget about the evidence base and opinions from authoritative sources. And also voice your feelings and emotions of the subjects at this moment when looking at this problem. For example, if you want your man to change the work - voice your thoughts on this subject, give examples that men who risked in adulthood came to the highest blessings in a shorter time. And also that you will be ready to support it in a difficult moment, and that there is always a spare plan;
  • Bodily contact. Even in the most difficult conversation, hold your man by the hand, be in his arms. In the process of conversation, kiss and do not forget to say that you love and appreciate him;
  • When dialogue, look into your man's eyes, Ask leading questions, ask his opinion, his view of the situation;
  • Do not criticize your man, criticize the actions that arose unacceptable situations, etc.;
  • I feel. A man is logic and thinking, a woman is emotion and sensuality. Use it when talking with your man. Do not try to build a dialogue of two equals, you are not equal, you are different and it is fine;
  • If in the process of dialogue all the arguments and counterarguments are over, but you have not come to a consensus - agree on a breakAnd through how much you will return to the dialogue again. At this time, you will prepare new arguments in your favor, and also think about whether this relationship is worth continuing if your man’s wrong is the key to you.
Tactile contact is an important aspect in discussion
Tactile contact is an important aspect in discussion

If a woman is wrong: what to do?

Women make a number of mistakes and have a lot of errors at least men. What to do in this case? If you are her man, experienced Frenchmen advise - come and apologize. Outrageous? Let. But you will both be happy. And she, as the wisest of all living, will appreciate your efforts.

But if a woman is not your spouse, her point of view is erroneous, and it is vital to convince her of this, she needs to talk to her a little differently than with a man. How to convince a person that he is wrong if this is an emotional woman:

  • Tell me that you need to discuss this situation. You can do it right away, but in private, or later, as soon as you remain together. Sometimes it is appropriate to discuss in a circle of friends or relatives, but only if a person whom you are going to convince in the wrong way agree to this;
  • Say that the theme of your conversation - a specific point of view of the opponent;
  • Let the woman speak out Showing the active technique of hearing, asking clarifying questions, and try to understand her view of the situation;
  • In the process of dialogue, a woman can change her own view of the situation several times, and switch to your point of view;
  • When a woman speaks completely, carefully, without aggression, express my opinion, their arguments and possible ways to change and get out of this situation;
  • Say that you support her, understand her feelings and emotions, but ...;
  • Tell me that you are ready to support her, help, but set the boundaries of help so that later it does not turn out that you have given false hopes;
  • Tell me that in the future you are ready to maintain her exit from the situation not only physically, but also mentally, being ready, to respond to her call;
  • Remember that the last word, like a decision, is always behind a person, no matter how you want to change the situation.
If a woman is wrong, a real man must apologize
If a woman is wrong, a real man must apologize

How to convince a person that he is wrong: reviews

Daria: how much it grew, I heard so much from my mother that the art of persuasion is the most important of the vital skills. When she grew up, I realized how she was right. It is unrealistic to speak correctly, convincingly and constructively, to persuade a person to his point of view correctly, convincingly and constructively. But that's not all! As my mother says, find five reasons why you should enter into a person’s conviction that he is wrong and only then open your mouth. Yes, yes, we have such a people-their “only true” opinion is pushed everywhere and everywhere. And then they are sincerely surprised how so.

Lyudmila: I have more than 20 years in sales and I can convince anyone that he himself did not know before talking with me that he wanted it. But these are all manipulations, and they are good at work, but at home the best conviction is a calm, constructive conversation with the arrangement of key priorities. Show close people that you love them, want the best, and do everything so that your life will go to a new, favorable level.

The ability to build relationships is the skill received for years. Want to increase the class? Our articles will be useful to you:

Video: The art of persuasion. How to transfer anyone to your side?



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