You met a foreigner, but do not know how to communicate with him. Let's figure out how to cope with the difficulties of the language barrier.
Even knowing a good language, a person is lost in the use of his language skills when he is worried. It is necessary to solve the problem of overcoming the language barrier in stages.
How to overcome the language barrier in communication with foreigners: a story from life, a psychologist's advice
“The photograph of this man was a workshop - it was easy to recognize him. A foreign site did not let you down: a wide smile, charm and sincere admiration for my eyes at the sight of me. Usually, with such an enthusiastic reception, I calm down, but now I panicked, especially straining when he turned to me.
My knowledge in German was enough only to say hello and introduce myself. But to understand what he said turned out to be an overwhelming task for me. He slowly repeated the words, and I guessed acquaintances among them, trying to make from them an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat he was saying.
I used to live a little in Germany and Austria, so I was quite enough for the conversational language to communicate with friends. But now, six years later, I realized that the lack of language practice did not affect the best way, and this cute smiling Swiss was almost completely outside the zone of my understanding.
He turned out to be understanding, and soon brought his German to the level of the school curriculum, trying to help me understand it. With mistakes and repetitions, somehow I was able to understand and answer him. The matter did not save his kiss - he seemed to me a kiss out of pity. But I was always convinced that communication during dates is not difficult for me ...
I was forced to recognize the opposite to acquaintance with foreigners. Mistakes, hitch, lack of vocabulary have become a real test for my nature perfectionist. Even English, which I own is not an example better, sometimes let down what to say about attempts to communicate in Spanish. And I was ready to surrender and refuse to meet with amazing foreigners. But…
Before my very departure from Lucerne, I met a charming Swiss. After several minutes of flirting at the cafe table, he invited me on a date the next evening. I could honestly admit that my German leaves much to be desired. But it did not bother him. And, as I myself understood, - me too. After all, you can communicate not only with the help of words. ”
The main thing is in the issue overcoming the language barrier - This is to decide on a conversation, and for this it is necessary to first reduce the alarm, which prevents even the baggage of the knowledge that we own.
The strategy for overcoming the language barrier consists of the following basic stages:
- We normalize the situation that excites. Gathering for a date and worrying about possible difficulties in communication, it should be realized that you can’t speak perfectly in someone else's language - this is quite normal, especially since you are not a resident of the country whose language you have to communicate. In addition, the one with whom you have a meeting know that you are not his compatriot, but did not refuse to date for this reason. Therefore, difficulties in your communication are quite natural, and disappointment both on his part and yours can arise at all for other reasons, but this does not scare you? In a word, all mistakes in the conversation are quite explained and understandable, both for you and for him.
Cope with excitement - Checking the correctness (validization) consists in recharging self -esteem. Turn off in your brain the function of the “strict mother”, which repeats: “I would learn the tongue, not shock, everything would be fine!” In your situation, such a “mother”, of course, cares about your position, is not only useless, but also harmful, because Only strengthens the degree of panic, while it needs to be eliminated. Therefore, it is better to turn on the good “mother”: “There are no people without flaws, and the insufficient knowledge of German is one of them, which is compensated by many advantages.” In addition, language is just one of the moments in the variety of aspects by which people evaluate the other. Who knows that it is really valuable for your counterpart, perhaps not a language, but an appearance or, say, character.
- Technique of decatastrophization. You are worried about many consequences. You can imagine how he will laugh at you, even if he is silent out of politeness, he will still laugh in his thoughts. You think that this date can be the last that you will feel stupid, etc. With similar thoughts you are pumping an inner panic, which has already mastered you. Therefore, imagine better at once the most terrible outcome for you and think about what is so terrible to happen to you? Death, illness, ban on the dating site? No. Then what is the problem? You continue to look for even more pretty and corresponding to your requests. By the way, everything can happen exactly the opposite: your language will be much more perfect than you imagined with fear. And in general, the meeting can go with a bang.
Do not be afraid of disaster - Training. Prepare for the meeting in advance, having thought out calmly and slowly all the words and sentences with which you can describe yourself and your interests. If you really are not very confident - memorize several phrases for memory overcoming the language barrier. After all, you still cannot avoid the conversation, but you will feel more confident, knowing what to say. And having come in a dead end situation, you can always use these memorized phrases. Such a home rehearsal will help you calm down and gain self -confidence, and will increase the chances that everything can go like clockwork, and you will not need these blanks at all.
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