How to punish if the child does not obey? Education without punishment

The article will tell about the methods of punishing children and the psychology of punishment.

The educational process is not complete without punishment. This is one of the methods of education that helps to direct the baby’s behavior in the right direction and point out the mistakes made. The lack of punishment leads to the uncontrollability of the child.

And, if at a younger age his actions are perceived by others as innocent pranks, then at an older age, problems with socialization may arise. We all live in society and whether parents want or not, the child should develop according to generally accepted norms. However, often parents are moving in education.

Punishments are in no way compatible with cruelty. Also, punishment has nothing to do with humiliation and non -compliance with human rights. The child is the same person who has his desires and life position. The role of parents only direct the baby in the right direction and point out errors.

Causes of behavioral violation

The first thing parents should figure out is the causes of behavioral disorders. After all, sometimes it is enough to eliminate the cause of the scandal.

• The desire to gain parental attention. It happens that in a family where both parents work, the baby does not receive their attention. The only way to distract parents from business is poor behavior. Only then do parents begin to communicate with the baby, albeit in the form of punishment. If the child notices such a tendency in the behavior of his parents, then he will be poorly behaved quite often. The only way out of this situation is to figure out parents with their schedule, to spend time with their child more often
• Often, a preschool child does not behave poorly. Parents should study and understand age -related features, take them into account when educating
• Nervous overexcitation. Modern children suffer from hyperactivity, it is difficult for them to concentrate and calm down. One of the reasons is violations of the nervous system as a result of using artificial toys. This concept means using a TV, computer, tablet and phone. At preschool age, the contact of children with these devices is extremely undesirable
• The presence of diseases. Poor well -being and the inability to express this often causes moodiness and poor behavior in children

What can you punish a child for?

As noted above, young children often do not specifically violate discipline. In this case, parents should enter the position of a small child and patiently teach him the necessary skills. Situations in which to punish the baby is still worth it:

• For inappropriate hysteria. Often, tantrums of children find adults by surprise. The child already realized that having rolled a scandal in a store or in a park, he easily gets what he wants. If you do not stop such behavior, then the baby will use hysterics more and more
• For violation of prohibitions. Each age has its own norms of behavior and rules. They must be in advance with the child.
• For intentionally poor behavior. Sometimes it happens that children in school age begin to manipulate adults. In this case, it is necessary to explain and demonstrate to the child that the educational process is your duty, not entertainment
• Punishments need to be approached very carefully. A big plus if parents learn to perceive the behavior of a child without emotions. Then the educational process will be easier for all family members

How to punish a child for poor behavior?

There are several methods of punishing children in pedagogy:

• Educational conversation with an analysis of a perfect act. This method is recognized as the most effective for punishing children of different ages. Only types of conversations should vary. For example, it is inappropriate to speak with a teenager, as with a preschooler. In this case, the conversation will not bring the result
• Ignoring the baby. This method of punishment copes with children's tantrums perfectly
• Deprivation of entertainment, such as watching TV or walking with friends
• Deprivation of material goods (for example, deprivation of pocket means and gifts)
• Physical punishments
• Insulation of the child (for example, put in a corner)

How to punish a child for bad grades

Bad grades are a stumbling block between parents and children. On the one hand, they can indicate the childbirth of the child. On the other hand, they may indicate the development of the baby in a different direction. Parents should treat the baby with understanding and not demand from him the impossible.

• Understand the reason for the appearance of poor assessments. Perhaps this is not your child’s fault. Maybe he has a difficult relationship with the teacher
• Find out the strengths of the baby. It happens that the child receives poor assessments in mathematics. However, he is the best in the class in English and other humanitarian subjects. Pay attention to this when choosing a future profession
• If the child does not study well in all subjects, conduct a conversation with him. Surely there are factors that interfere with him learning
• It is impossible to excessively punish the child for bad grades, otherwise you will completely repel the desire to learn
• Combine punishments with encouragement. Give the child to study for study (for example, that he will go to the sea in the summer, if he finishes a year without triples)

Rules for the punishment of children

So that punishment is not meaningless cruelty, they must be aimed precisely at eliminating behavior errors. Punishment should in no case touch the personality of the child himself. When punished, parents are required to comply with some rules:

• Do not punish the child in a state of aggression. This can only aggravate the conflict
• The best education is a personal example. It is foolish to punish the child for what you do yourself
• Do not go personal
• Do not compare the child with others, this underestimates self -esteem and sets the child against the opponent
• The whole family should adhere to one line of education. It is unacceptable for the mother to allow what the father prohibits
• Follow your own promises and rules
• Before punishing a child, discuss his behavior. Figure out why he did just that
• Each punishment should end with reconciliation. Do not stretch the punishment for too long

Raising a child without punishment

It is impossible to completely avoid punishment. One way or another, all parents punish their children. And only those who are absolutely indifferent to the life of the baby do not punish. However, in the power of each family to minimize punishment.

• Show patience and understanding. A child is the same person like you. Each of his act has a meaning. Try to understand the motives of the baby's behavior. Then, the approach to the sky will find much easier
• Follow your own rules. For example, there is a rule not to watch TV until the complete completion of lessons and household chores. Naturally, the child will ask permission again and again so that you yield to him. And having lost once, you can forget about this rule
• The educational process should be based on a personal example. For example, it is difficult to instill in a child a love of reading if he does not see his parents with a book in his hands
• Do not press on the child. Together make up the rules of behavior
• Perceive the child as a person. Even at a small age, the child has features of character and temperament. This is especially necessary to take into account when educating adolescents. Do not treat a child as a baby
• Encourage the child for good behavior and compliance with the rules. However, everything should be a measure. The child should not behave well only for the sake of reward
• Divide the interests of the baby, spend more time together. If the child will see what you need, he will want to make contact

Psychology of physical punishment

Teachers of all countries have already proved the inefficiency of physical punishments. Moreover, they adversely affect the development of personality and life skills.

• Parents often use physical punishment for self -affirmation. Bad mood, unwillingness to pay attention to the child are the main causes of physical punishment
• The child does not learn new skills thanks to such punishment
• Physical punishment leads to the fears of the child, uncertainty to themselves. The kid stops trusting parents
• Such punishments bear behind the "revenge" of the child. With physical pain, the child cannot answer the same, because he takes revenge in other ways
• Physical punishments extremely negatively affect family relationships
• Punishment of the physical plan leads to the problems of the child in relations with peers. The kid may become intimidated, not be able to stand up for himself. Another option is the cruelty of the child in relation to peers, younger children and animals

How to avoid the use of physical punishment?

• Parents and other family members should clearly realize the inadmissibility of this kind of punishment
• In order not to resort to physical punishment, parents must master other methods of punishment
• It happens that parents justify the physical impact on the child with the impossibility of "reaching out" to him. However, this is only an indicator of impatience of the parents themselves
• To find an approach to the child, you need to understand his motives and goals. Only after that can you establish relationships with the baby

The most important thing is love for children and manifestations of their attention. Then, every family will have healthy and harmonious relationships.

Video: How to punish a child correctly?