Hysteria in a child: what to do to mom, how to calm the baby? Tips of a psychologist for mothers, reviews, ways to calm a child from 1 to 3 years old, from 3 to 6 years old, types of hysteria and methods of combating her, Dr. Komarovsky about children's hysteria

In this article, mothers will find tips and information on the topic - hysteria in the child.

Hysteria in a child: type 2 hysteria

The child’s hysteria is not uncommon and not out of the ordinary phenomenon. Often children begin to cry, scream and act up, it would seem, for no reason. Many parents believe that a child’s hysteria is one of the most unpleasant aspects of parenthood.

It is especially unpleasant when a child begins to arrange a hysteria in public. Sometimes children in the store can scream, fall and knock with fists, so that they would immediately buy this beautiful toy. Thus, the child, with the help of hysteria, is trying to achieve what he desired here and now.

But hysteria can occur for another reason. For example, the child is tired or hungry. In this case, he can also begin to act up at the most inopportune moment.

Many mothers do not know how to deal with tantrums. Some parents resort to the most quick and effective way - to scream or give it by priest. This option is not suitable for parents who seek to educate their child in love, respect and understanding.

Important: misunderstanding gives rise to misunderstanding. If you do not understand how to cope with the child’s hysteria, know that the method of using force is not the best solution, but the worst.

To understand how to deal with tantrums, you must first find out that the children's brain is not developed like an adult.

Important: the human brain departments, which are responsible for self -control, completely ripen by 25 years. Therefore, parents often have to observe children's tantrums and poor behavior.

There are two types of tantrums for which the upper brain and lower brain are responsible.

Consider examples of two tantrums:

1. Hysteria of the upper brain It begins when the child intentionally decides to cry or shout in order to achieve what he desired. For example, the situation in the store, when, with the help of hysteria, the child requires the fulfillment of his desire. In this case, the child controls his tantrum, it is only necessary to give him what he wants, as the hysteria will immediately stop. Despite all the pleas and “sincere tears” of the child, which the mother can take for a clean coin, this hysteria of pure water manipulation.
2. The hysteria of the lower brain - This is a completely different phenomenon. During this hysteria, the baby cannot control his emotions and actions, he is all filled with stress, he cannot think about another person, is not able to take into account the feelings of another person. An example of such a hysteria: the child begins to scream and cry when his face pours during bathing. In this case, the child may start screaming, crying, resisting. Another example: the child screams and cries before donating blood from the finger. He is scared, he cannot control his emotions, so the child has hysteria.

The upper and lower brain of the child is responsible for many processes. The lower brain is well developed since birth. He is responsible for instincts, emotions, reactions. Whenever you dodge the ball, if it flies right into you, the lower brain works.

The upper brain is more complex, it controls analytical thinking. The upper brain develops by 25 years. Ideally, between these two departments there should be a “staircase”, which allows you to be able to stop in time, to react correctly to the situation in time. However, this does not work in children yet, they have only to learn this, to ripen.

When the hysteria of the lower brain occurs, as if the gates block the path to the upper brain. For a while, the child cannot use his entire brain. The child must also respond to different types of hysteria in different ways.

How to respond to different types of hysteria in a child to mom?

Important: many parents react to any hysteria with ignore. That is, they try not to pay attention to the hysteria in the child in the hope that he will calm down and will no longer do this.

In fact, we talked not in vain about different types of hysteria. Based on the understanding of the type of hysteria, it is worth learning to respond correctly to each of them.

In the first case, if the child cries, screams and beats in hysteria for manipulation, you should ignore the tantrum. There is a golden rule - never accept the rules of the game of a "little terrorist". With the help of such a hysteria, the child probes the framework of the permitted. If this time mom yields and goes on the occasion, then the next time she will do it again.

In this case, you can be sure that such behavior will return to normal. Therefore, learn to arrange the boundaries of the permitted. You should calmly tell the child that he should calm down, since you still cannot buy this toy for him, besides you can deprive him of other pleasures as a punishment.

Another important point - if you told the child that he would not go for a walk with friends, give your promise into action. Then the child will understand that the crime will be followed by punishment. If you do not do what you promised, then the child will understand that your threats are empty and carry nothing behind them.

No need to buy a toy, if only to shut up. With this behavior you provide yourself with a bear’s service. I ignore once, and next time the child will not manipulate you, because he will understand that there is no sense in this.

In case of hysteria of the lower brain Acting the ignoring method is wrong. In this case, support is needed, affection. If the child cries and acts up due to the fact that he is hungry, tired or wants to sleep, you can’t punish him, ignore or threaten to deprive any pleasures.

You must hug the baby, stroke, apply soothing intonations. If the child is so lost that it can harm someone, it is necessary to take him in his arms and prevent it.

Only after the child has calmed down, you need to talk to him and explain that you can’t beat, for example, no one, even if he is very angry. Try to explain to the child what he should say about what he does not like, instead of screaming and fighting in hysterics. Logic and reasoning should be used only after the upper and lower brain come to interaction.

Video: What to do with hysteria in a child?

What to do to mom if the child has a hysteria: from 1 year to 3 years old

Hysteria occurs in children of different ages. Most often, kids are capricious and cry, but sometimes hysteria occurs in 10-year-old children. To calm a ten -year -old child and one -year -old are different things.

Consider what to do to mom if the child is hysterical  from 1 to 3 years:

• You can reassure the baby erupted by the game with the help of the game or switching attention. To understand how to do this, the mother should be very attentive and not be annoyed by trifles. For example, if you see that the baby has already protruded his lip and intends to cry, take him in his arms and show some interesting thing.
• To punish, scream and scold babies at the age of one or two years for hysteria is stupid. Instead, try to calm him down calmly with the help of the game. For example, the baby does not want to leave the store and arranged a hysteria there. Sit down next to him and in a cheerful voice suggest playing a train. Thus, you can withdraw it calmly and without hysteria from the store. All that mom needs to show children at this age is patience and wisdom.
• You can not allow the child to beat objects and toys, even if he is still a crumb. Instead of this invite him to start a "bag of anger". In it, the baby can splash out his screams. After the bag is filled, throw it away.
• If the baby is trying to scandal it is useful to tell him "yes". For example: “Yes, you can go for a walk, after you stop screaming”, “Yes, you can ride a carousel yourself, I will just stand nearby”, etc.

What to do to mom if the child is hysterical: from 3 to 6 years old

In a child from 3 to 6 years old, a hysteria of the upper brain occurs more often. At this age, the child begins to establish the boundaries of the permitted. Therefore, other methods of combating hysteria in a child of this age should be used here.

• Before going shopping, mom needs to understand that her 5-year-old child will not calmly walk nearby and buy products on the list. He will want to go to the toy department or get tired for a long time and choose something. Come up with a lesson for him, for example, let him choose a bun or considering purchases in your cart. For a while it will help.
• Before entering the supermarket, explain to the child what you expect patience from him. Tell us how a child should behave in a public place: do not run away, do not interfere with making purchases, not grabbing everything from the shelves without permission.
• If the hysteria has already begun, wait for its end. Then explain to the child what can and what can not be done in public places. Say that you are unpleasant for this behavior. Make sure the child heard you.
• If you have to expect your turn in the clinic or a long trip, make sure that the baby is not up to hysteria. Take pencils, a few small toys. In other words, take the child.
• If the child behaves in a public place not as you would like, try not to be annoyed and not angry. Talk calmly and firmly.
  Become a good example for your child. Do not use strength and scream. The child considers the norm to express his emotions of dissatisfaction with outbreaks of anger.

How to calm the child in a child: tips for mothers

It is difficult to say what exactly needs to be done so that the child’s tantrum stops. In each situation, the mother should select her own special method, our tips can only suggest and direct.

Here are the general advice that will help to minimize hysteria to the child:

1. Avoid reasons for hysteria. Every mother knows better than any other person who can get her child out of himself. The child can be capricious due to the fact that he missed a daytime, he was hungry, due to the fact that he does not like a large accumulation of people, because of a tense atmosphere, from idleness or sitting in four walls, due to lack of attention from his mother, Because of the sharp and unexpected shifts of the daily routine. Therefore, try to avoid such situations. Think about your campaign with your child somewhere to avoid unforeseen tantrums.
2. Communicate with your child respectfully. An appeal to a child in a calm and respectful tone should be used not only when it is necessary to stop the hysteria. Throughout the day, learn to communicate with your child with respect. For example, often ask his opinions on some reason, discuss your feelings, ask about the feelings of the child. Listen carefully. If the child requires your attention, interrupt the conversation with your girlfriend, listen to your child.
3. Train a child patience. Patience is a very important skill, thanks to him, children become more reasonable and calm. If the child is unable to go somewhere and he is about to arrange a tantrum, ask him to wait a bit. For each patient expectation, praise the child, pay him more attention, make a little encouragement. Then the child will see that you appreciate his efforts.
4. Show love and attention. Do not get tired of telling the child that he is smart, good, the best. Children who feel parental love are more flexible. Regular doses of parental attention require a lot of time, but they pay off a story.

Hysteria in a child: a psychologist's advice

Some psychologists say that children are trying to attract the attention of parents with frequent whims and tantrums. They advise paying attention, first of all, to their feelings and emotions that the child’s reaction causes you.

Try to understand yourself and you can learn how to cope with hysteria in a child:

1. You are irritated. Perhaps the child is fighting for your attention, and his actions cause you irritation. For example, you met an old familiar and spoke to her, the child begins to show impatience, it may annoy you a little. Do not interrupt the conversation, but at the same time, press the child to you, stroke it, hug it. This approach will help the child become more flexible.
2. You feel pity. For example, the child arranged a tantrum when you told him to collect your toys. You can use pity, seeing his helplessness, but perhaps the child only pretends to be helpless. Help a little child. Disassemble the complex task to smaller ones. For example, for starting to gather cars, then cubes, etc. Thus, you will reassure the capricious child and help him become more confident in his abilities.
3. You are anger. At these moments, the child can fight you for the right of the last voice. Your task, as an adult, is to build a game according to your own rules, but not to the detriment of a child. Learn to negotiate with your child in advance, stipulate the rules of conduct in public places and at home, come up with conventional signs that you and the child will know. If you give him these signs, the child should know that it is time to stop.
4. You feel a grudge. If in response to the hysteria of the child you feel a grudge, perhaps the child is trying to take revenge on you for something. Maybe you punished him undeservedly, and now he decided in this way to manipulate you. Try to always show your love of course, regardless of whether the child is acting or behaving well. At any moments, the child should know that mother loves him even when he cries and capriches. This approach will help to make a priority not hysteria, but a mutual understanding of each other.

How to cope with hysteria in a child: reviews

Below you will find reviews about how to deal with hysteria in a child.

• Tatiana: “My son from early childhood had too increased excitability. Every day we left the playground with screams and tantrums. I took it under the arm and just carried it out of there. In a different way, it did not work out. Arriving home, I put it on the floor, from another place he would just fall. After a while, he calmed down to the questions why he behaved like that, he answered that he did not know. I needed a lot of patience to cope with these tantrums. Now the son is already a schoolboy, he is assembled and reinforced, but if something went not according to his plan, immediately tears. But only at home, in front of mom and dad. ”
• Elena: “The best method to stop hysteria, show the consequences. Only after the child understands that there will be bad consequences after hysteria, he will immediately stop doing this. So it was on the example of my daughter. Each time she fell on the street in the mud on purpose, we left the walk home. This was repeated several times. After that, she realized that it was better not to fall in hysterics in the mud, she would be better. ”
• Anna: “If there is no one to show hysteria, then there will be no hysteria. As soon as my child specially achieved his tantrums, we all leave the room. Want to cry and scream - please! We do not want to look at it. As soon as the spectators were gone, there was no tantrum immediately. ”
• Julia: “I believe that it is categorically impossible to refuse the child, but as soon as he cried, to buy or give him what he wants to immediately. In this case, you can definitely grow a tantrum. The child must clearly understand that yes - yes, but no - this is not. And under no circumstances will it become yes, especially if it will be achieved by hysteria and vagaries. Such methods helped me. We went for groceries if the hysteria began, we immediately unfolded and left without shopping. There is nothing to eat, who is to blame? We were enough, literally, a couple of times and the situation fundamentally changed. ”
• Natalia: “Hysteries should not be encouraged, but sometimes it is extremely important to hug, regret your dear child. Sometimes children arrange hysteria not because they want to manage their parents. Elementary they can experience fear, pain, hunger and other feelings that they cannot cope with without tears. We adults can control our emotions, and children need our help. We must help them learn to control their emotions. ”

Do not expect that young children will constantly look for a rational approach, think about the consequences and provide for their actions. The child’s tantrum is different, you can not react to hysteria in the same way. First of all, focus on your maternal instinct. Share in the comments what methods of dealing with hysteria are in your arsenal.

Video: Dr. Komarovsky - how to respond to hysteria?