What is tactile contact? Why is it so necessary for harmonious relations with children, between lovers: we learn the language of touch and secret touches

In this topic, we will study the importance of such a thing as tactile contact.

In the midst of various types of interpersonal communications, tactile contact takes on a significant role. In simple words - touches, touch. There is a category of people for whom such sensations are the most effective method of obtaining information, and communication without touching them is almost impossible.

But there is such a category that does not attach the proper value to tactile contact. Therefore, we propose to make out its role in our life in order to understand the importance for established relationships.

What is tactile contact?

• Psychologists call the tactile contact of the touch of one person to another. He is also called touch. Communication occurs at the level of sensory receptors, which are in our skin and even muscles, joints, as well as in the inner ear. It is this contact that is at the top of non -verbal or not visual communication.
• If we approach this issue from the point of view of history, then this is The very first method of communication between people At the same time. And tactile contact remains so now - after all, after birth, a person is not able to perceive speech and visual picture at once.
• Yes, what is there - scientists say that without this contact, even having well -developed vision, hearing and speech, The percentage of survival would have decreased significantly. Moreover, this is a thin thread that can unite different nations, without understanding the language.
• Tactile contact in society is a handshake at a meeting or acquaintance, a goodbye, welcome kisses, etc.
• However, it is worth remembering the rules of etiquette so as not to take inappropriate actions. Tactile contact should be considered not only as kisses and handshakes, but also as Emotional attitude to man.
  • Touch makes it clear in which direction the conversation is moving, indicate its development, the mood of a dialog partner, and also establish roles in a conversation.
• But also the ability to show it and even accept it will tell us About the psychological barrier personality itself. The fact is that a closed person avoids any manifestation of touch as much as possible, as well as its adoption. But this is only one example.
• For children, tactile contact acts as a powerful weapon as protection from the world and any hardships. And also his drawback deprives the child of love and parental attention, so very often not only closed, but even aggressive personalities grow out of such children.

Important: a dangerous signal is the reluctance of tactile contact even with loved ones! This indicates not only internal problems that can have very reasonable soil, but also about general contradictions in interaction. And most importantly - this indicates distrust!

After all, we will not touch a person, which causes us antipathy or is simply alarming. But there is a reverse side of the touch - this The ability to arrange to yourself! Indeed, sometimes the hugs of not only a native person, and especially the child, can reassure and restore spiritual intimacy.

Types of tactile contacts

All tactile contacts can be conditionally divided into several groups.

• The first group includes Professional or business touches.People of such professions as doctors, manuals, stylists, tailors, etc. They cannot avoid tactile communication in their work. Basically, such touches do not carry any personal emotional color and are perceived calmly.
  • In general, in the business sphere of touch, they minimize, but they carry the color Trust! In this case, there is such a pattern - these touches signal About the importance of the message sent!
  • But still an important remark is a official bar. The leader for the sake of location or the opportunity to influence can touch the subordinate. While the reverse state of things is almost impossible, since there is a psychological barrier!

Important: but in the professional sphere, as a rule, tactile contact can cause a double understanding and even misunderstanding. After all, this can talk about trust, desire to emphasize your words and plans or to have an intimate character of another group of touch. The exception is the touch of gratitude - they carry a positive attitude!

• The second group consists of the so -called ritual touches.This has nothing to do with mystical rituals, we are talking about daily shaking of the hand or kisses on the cheek. Similar rituals are designed to show friendship and peaceful mood. It is worth noting their branching:
  • touching a repeating nature. That is, this is a mutual scheme of movements. For example, when meeting/farewell, kiss a person on the cheek and get an answer from him;
  • and there is and Subgroup of strategic touches. That is, these touches are secretive in order to force one person to fulfill the will of another person.

Important: scientists consider our elbow a particularly important point. Touching him during a conversation at a psychological level has the interlocutor for trust.

• The most voluminous group of tactile contacts is associated with interpersonal relationships - Social or polite contact.In this area, tactile communication helps to show attachment to a person, sympathy, attraction. This group includes hugs, kisses, stroking and so on. They can also be divided into subgroups:
  • friendly touches, What express our specific attitude towards each other. They talk about the location of family members or just close people. In this case, the number of touches also sets the behavior between people. Moreover, it is this group helps to get rid of stress, take off the load and gain mental balance;
  • love contact - This is the most popular type of touch. It especially has an active phase at the beginning of the relationship and speaks of attachment signals ;
  • it is closely connected with sexual or intimate contact. A love affair is mandatory on the basis of touching each other. They already have a special shape and scheme, but they say about confirmation of the significance of another person in our life. And we will not be able to feel our loved ones without tactile touch;
  • but there is also a group contact of violence. It can have a one -time nature of the type of violence in the parks, or may indicate dominance in a couple. Moreover, the last subspecies may be on the basis of a minor conflict or on the rights of intimate control. But also dominance in pairs, unlike the first category, does not have an aggravating nature and arises from case to case.

Important: studies have confirmed that friendly and love contact cause more positive emotions in women. For this reason, a number of tactile touch are sometimes called female connection. But men are more characteristic of tactile contact with non -verbal aggression and violence.

The role of tactile contact

• Psychology distinguishes three main ways of communication:
  • some need to see some to obtain and assimilate information. Therefore, they call them visuals;
  • some perceive the information through a hearing - Audials;
  • and some need to feel. So called kinesthetics Completely depend on touch.
• From others, they can be distinguished by the desire to reduce the distance, constant touches. The meaning of the name itself is translated from Greek, as a "feeling of movement."
• However, for some people, touching are very intimate. And therefore, communication with kinesthetics turns into a very complex process. Moreover, for both candidates. Therefore, it is so important to warn people in time that you are not particularly pleasant to touch.

Important: kinesthetics mean not only touches, but also muscle memory. That is, this is the ability to keep balance even with closed eyes, move according to temperature sensations and other aspects that affect our receptors.

• It is also worth noting that tactile contact, and sometimes its absence, It can give a person. That is, when gestures and touches do not correspond to the said words. And sometimes, on the contrary, it is this contact that can say much more.

Interesting: the Asian and North American people, as well as residents of Northern Europe, are considered the lowest nations. But the countries of Southern Europe and the Latin American nation are considered the most contact.

Tactile contact of mother and child, parents and children: why is it so important?

Many studies have shown that children who were often worn in their hands were stroked and hugged, were more healthy and active than those children who were deprived of such affection. The need for feelings and emotions comes from a person’s childhood. That is why the tactile communication of mom and baby is so necessary in order to grow good full -fledged feelings in the child.

Important: sometimes there is an authenticity of concepts between adults and children. The fact is that parents understand tactile contact in the form of hugs, kisses, handshakes or just touches. That children in these same touches see love, protection and care.

What is the importance?

• In the first months of his life, the baby perceives this world through touch: what is pleasant and what not. Since the sound and visual picture are not read by the brain of a newborn, Skin sensations play an important role. With their help, the child recognizes which objects are dangerous and which people are friendly.
• When the child is born, he needs to be affectionate. And it is mom who can help the child adapt in this world, about which the baby knows nothing yet. Frequent hugs, kisses and stroking help Grow a child open and kind. It is tactile communication that is the key to the healthy psyche of the baby.
• But it is worth noting:
  • also, these touches and stroking develop normal development of the nervous system;
  • with light compression occurs massage muscle mass;
  • in turn, this also accelerates the blood, Improving circulation in a capillary grid;
  • the heartbeat, blood pressure and sugar levels are normalized;
  • but also oxytocin It begins to be produced in larger quantities. But it is he who helps to establish trust, reduce anxiety and fear, thereby reducing the production of stress hormones.

Important: it has also been established that loving children who get the proper share of hugs and touches are more active, are confident and much less often sick!

How to establish tactile contact with a child?

When the baby is awake, use every minute for tactile communication. An approximate but mandatory plan for tactile communication with young children:

• resort to massage, stroke and easily tap. This acts very soothingly on children;
• also more often Apply the baby to the heart. This sound is very familiar to the child and means security for him;
• turn the clamped palms child, spend your fingers on them, you can tickle a little;
• when bathing, wash your hands with your palms, use massage movements;
• and the most effective way to calm and lull the child is Swing in their hands. The movements should be smooth and soft.

Important: using tactile contact in communicating with the baby, you help to develop the stable psyche of the child, and also show your parental love.

Therefore, it is worthwhile to affect such important aspects:

• do not be afraid to pick up your child in your arms! No, you will not accustom him to your hands. It’s just that every child has different needs for tactile touch. But children who are rarely taken in their hands and stroke are just worse let go of parents when time comes. At the same time, they not only develop more slowly, but also receives less cognitive information from the surrounding world;
• the same goes for a joint sleep. There are children that they previously release parents, and there are which from birth I do not feel the need for this connection. But sometimes it is necessary to discard all the stereotypes and tips of other parents in order to provide a comfortable dream to the whole family. Remember - This connection is extremely needed by our children. It is in contact with parents that the child is quite unconsciously feeling protected. And the first period of the baby is completely dependent on mom and dad. And this is the time to think about him!

Important: but you should not bend with joint sleep also. Indeed, in the future, incorrect sexual formation in a child may occur.

Do not forget about schoolchildren and older children

With the growth and development of the child, parental tactile contact decreases. After all, he already knows how to eat, dress, etc. And in this aspect, many miss really important steps.

• Get it a rule Hug the child every day. By the way, to do it better 8 times a day. If you do not treat kinesthetics, then you can even count. This thin thread will help you establish a connection between trust.
• But use patronizing character - Stick on the head, knock on the shoulder. This will express your support at a subconscious level.
• At the same time, remember - Your touches should be higher and last. That is, if the child is trying to tickle you, then it is worth turning it on the back and also tickle or kiss it.
• Do not assume that it is enough to feed or dress a child. Create your tactile traditions And the laws in the family, which should adhere to all family members every day. For example, the most banal kisses when parting and meetings.
• Spend at least 15-20 minutes in the evenings, while reading a book. But at the same time it is very important to hug or just at least touch each other.
• Also take it into service - If you want to force or convince the child, then take his hands. But at the same time Your palms should be on top. Or combine them in a prayer position. It is such a touch on a subconscious level that says that You dominate, possess the situation and look convincing.By the way, a similar step can be used for communication with partners.

Important: if the child does not receive proper contact with his parents, then he experiences Tactile hunger. From this begins begging toys, poor behavior, protest. The situation is aggravated when parents aggressively react and bodily punish their children. The fact is that the mechanism starts - touch me at least through punishment.

And this already creates a vicious circle. Harmful children do not receive proper love and hugs from their parents, and in turn become aggressors and scoring. After all, they receive that missing contact of touch through fights. Since the family does not receive due love!

Tactile contact between partners

Touching the relationship between a man and a woman play a large role. It is impossible to hope that without tactile contact the couple will have harmonious relationships.

• In life, each person touches a huge number of different things, which helps him recognize the properties of these objects. It also happens with touches of other people.
• With prolonged communication, men and women may appear mutual sympathy, attraction or other feelings. Such biological processes cause pleasure from communicating with another person. For the emergence of such feelings, tactile contacts are necessary.
• While touching women, a man feels the smoothness of the skin, warmth of the body, as well as the energy of a woman. This can be well traced with a strong hug, touches to the skin, as well as kisses. From this, a desire to get closer to a person should be close again, hug him again. This is how deep feelings and affection for another person appear.
• Woman's skin is extremely sensitive And its touches can cause a huge amount of different emotions, as well as sexual attraction. Therefore, one should not avoid tactile communication - this encourages partners to switch to a new level of relations.

But it is also worth learning the language of tactile contact in order to establish relations between partners

• For example, you you need to apologize to your partner – Turn to his knee. This is one of the available, but also safe areas, which is not an intimate nature. At the same time, any touch soothes and causes a feeling of trust. Moreover, the psychological barrier is also triggered - when touched to the knee, you are a little leaning, which show your humility and regret.
• And if you want Ask your partner About anything, especially if this does not cause him much desire- Extend your hands with your palms up. It is very important to take his hands so that he covers your palms. It is this signal that comes the brain as an opportunity to dominate and control the situation, as well as the impulse of the desire to take care and help you.
• When puzzling the conflict – Turn to your partner’s shoulder. Just do this not timidly, but confidently and firmly! Again, this is not a weak place, like a neck and face, but also a maximum zone with muscles. That is, you make it clear to your partner that he is safe, emphasize his strength and pause in the brain. That is, when your partner begins to “boil”, a hard hand on his shoulder in a couple of seconds gives confidence that everything can be solved!
• Give a feeling of relaxation can Through the occipital part. This is the most intense zone, and light stroking or even massage will help to lose the load and tension. Walk through your hair, then go down your neck and touch the shoulder muscle, and in conclusion, return to your hair again. But your touches on the finale should be light and fluttering like feathers of birds.
• But buttocks They are responsible at the verbal level for our confidence and originality. That's why, to emphasize the sexuality and attractiveness of the partner, Slave it on the pope or stain it a little higher. The effect of the compliment in this case will be much higher. And you show your admiration!
• If you want excite your partner Then go through your hand lightly On the inside of the thigh, But without touching the intimate place. In this area, the most delicate and sensitive skin, which instantly lights interest.

• And do not forget that On the cheek (and not only) Near the hair follicle there are tactile sensors. And this zone is responsible for the intimate connection between partners. That's why When recognizing in love, It is worth touching the cheek of a loved one to cause him a feeling of tenderness and establish an emotional connection.
• And do not forget to follow the position of the body of another person. If you need to apologize or say something important-wait until A person will not turn out in your direction. Or at least turn the feet in your direction. Then it is worth touching the knee or elbow to strengthen your eloquence.

As you can see, such a simple connection performs important functions in our lives. But it is the correct touches that will help to establish most of the aspects of our lives. What is there - tactile contact can establish trust between children and parents, set the right relationship between partners and even learn to receive what is desired in business relationships. Moreover, touching is actually important for each of us, simply to a greater or lesser extent, as confirmation of love!

Video: What is tactile contact?