What are 7 skills of highly effective people according to the exercises of Stephen Cui? The concept of emotional bank account: Description

In this article, we will consider how to become a highly effective person.

Content

The main philosophical thought of the teachings of Kovi - a person always chooses how to react to different life situations. Man is the creator of his fate. And even in the most unfavorable situations, he decides how to act and think. Pursuing self -development, everyone can become better. In this article, we will consider 7 skills of highly effective people according to Kovi.

What is 7 effectiveness skills?

“7 skills of highly effective people” is a book by Stephen Cui, in which he describes the qualities necessary for a person striving for success. The foundation of successful self -realization is the loyalty of personality principles that are true under any circumstances, no matter how difficult they may be.

In simple language, in life examples, the author talks about moral and ethical values.

Important: the main idea of \u200b\u200bthe book is that only the person who has gained a balance between personal and professional indicators can achieve real success. The purpose of the book is to improve these two spheres of life.

The principles stated by Covi are effective both in the business sphere and in personal life, because they teach us:

Achieve harmony with oneself.
Find the meaning of life.
React correctly to life circumstances.
Understanding others is better.
Build life on the basics of effectiveness.
Understand yourself and correctly formulate life goals.
Achieve your goals.

This book can help achieve the effectiveness of not only an individual, but also a working team:

Determine the general goals of the organization.
To establish cooperation between units.
Build successful partnerships.

This is not to say that the book is simple in reading. These are not psychological techniques. Some theories set forth in it may seem confusing and complex. Therefore, it is recommended to read this book several times, making notes in the fields or bookmarks.

Why read the book:

This is a classic of literature on personal growth and self -improvement.
The author was recognized as Time magazine one of the most influential Americans.
She absorbed the world experience in achieving success.
For several years she headed the rating of bestsellers among business books.
Many of the largest corporations acquainted their employees with the principles of efficiency.
The ideas of Stephen Covi influenced many other authors of books on personal development and gave rise to many other theories.
Many people admit that after reading the book they gained themselves, and their life has completely changed.

Paradigm - the basis of skills

Before talking about effectiveness skills, consider the concept of “paradigm” and “paradigm shift”.

Kovi defines the paradigm as our vision of the world through perception and understanding. The way we see the world dictates our thoughts and behavior.

For small changes in our lives, you can work out behavior, installation. But if we need serious changes, it is necessary to correct the main paradigms of life.

Distinguish:

I am a paragraph (I will do this, I am responsible for this).
You are a paradigm (you do for me, you are to blame for my troubles).
We are paradigm (we create together, we do together).

Based on the paradigms, people are divided into three categories:

Dependent -They need other people or a favorable environment to get something. Dependence also appears if we allow someone or something to destroy our emotional state or life.
Independent - Get the right through their own efforts. Independence requires maturity from the personality. A kind of achievement of a person.
Interdependent - To achieve success, they are united with others. Interdependence is the most progressive concept. After all, life is interdependent by its nature. At the same time, this is a choice that only an independent person can make.

“Paradigm shift” calls the ability to change their view of the surrounding reality. Kovi insists on the approach “from the inside, I will, meaning that the changes need to start with yourself. And this will change your actions. Having developed positive thinking, you will learn to form the situation yourself, and not passively react to it. A public victory is always preceded by your personal victory.

The human character should be on the foundation of the main life principles. They are simple and known to all of us: justice, dignity, honesty, ministry, sincerity. These are natural laws present in almost all religions or philosophy. They are truth whether we agree with them or not.

Kovi describes only 7 effectiveness skills:

Skills from 1, 2, 3 - “Personal victories”. They teach to control themselves and move on dependence on independence. This is the basis of our character. Based on them, you can not be afraid to open to another person and become vulnerable.
Skills 4, 5, 6 - "public victories". They lead to victories focused on effective team work. This is not a victory over society. This is a success in relationships.
Skill 7 - Personal update, improvement connecting previous skills.

Skill 1: "Be proactive"

According to the popular theory of “irritant reaction”, the individual is programmed to a certain stimulus to react in a certain way. But by nature, we always have the freedom to choose a reaction to the stimulus.

Procactiveness means that we ourselves are responsible for our lives. Our actions and condition depend not on external circumstances, but on our own decision. Highly effective people do not explain their behavior adverse conditions.

By the method of perceiving the situation, people are distinguished:

Reactive, controlled by external factors. The main features of such a person:

It often has dependence on the weather (it is difficult for him to work during heat or rain).
Socially dependent (feels good when he is in a favorable social and emotional environment).
The behavior is due to the feelings, circumstances, the environment.
He considers himself a victim that is unable to change the situation.

Skill 1 highly effective people in Stephen Covi

Proactive, the behavior of which is the result of their own decision. Such a person:

We move our values.
His reaction to external stimuli is a conscious choice based on priorities.
It solves problem situations, not discussing.

Each personality is initially proactive. And if she became dependent on what or anyone, then only because of her own choice (conscious or subconscious). We ourselves allow different circumstances to influence our lives.

Skill 1 is based on the following principles:

Act yourself, and do not become an object of any impact. You yourself must choose how to respond to the situation.
Change if you want to change something.
Do not wait for events that will change your life for the better.
Be proactive - take responsibility for the development of events.
The main time and effort devote to what you are able to influence. Problems that you cannot solve, accept and learn to live with them.
Do not criticize, but do not blame others in your failures or adverse circumstances. Realize that only you are responsible for managing your life.
Mistaken, do not get hung up on this. Recognize, correct and remove the lessons.
Take small and great obligations on yourself and always fulfill them. A good way to learn self -control is to promise and fulfill the promised, set a goal and achieve it.

Skill 2: "Start, representing the ultimate goal"

We all create twice: first in thoughts, and then physically. Skill 2 is a mental creation.

Its meaning is as follows: already today imagine a picture of the ultimate goal of your own life. This picture will become the main criterion according to which you will verify your actions and actions.

Many of us discover that everything that have so persistently achieved turned out to be empty and unimportant. A person can be very active. But only one who determined the final goal, aimed not at action, but at the result, will become effective.

Decide on life purpose. You must clearly realize what is really important to you. And then you can correctly control yourself and move where you need.

What is the essence of the skill 2:

Be a creator of yourself.
Write your own scenario. Often our mental creations are not independent. Many of us live according to impressed scenarios (society, parents, past experience, circumstances). If you recognize ineffective paradigms within yourself, you can rewrite yourself again.
Develop personal leadership. You need to understand that leadership and management are different things. Management is based on everything to do correctly. Leadership is choosing the right action.
Start your day, not forgetting about personal values.
Our effectiveness depends not only on the efforts of efforts, but also on where they are attached.

To determine the ultimate goal of life, you need to write the provisions of a personal mission. It will become a kind of constitution of your personality. Based on her, you will always remain yourself. You will find the foundation for the development of proactivity.

Skill 2 highly effective people according to Stephen Covi

How to make a personal mission:

Determine what you want to become, and what exactly you want to do based on your principles.
Do not invent life goals, but identify from the depths of your soul.
Realize what you are directed to.
Make the foundation of life true principles that will make you effective. These principles should not depend on circumstances or environment.
Use visualization when writing.
Break the provisions into all those roles that you play in life (leader, husband, father, etc.). Determine your tasks for each of them.

The definition of a personal mission is not a very quick process that requires a complete immersion in yourself, careful analysis.

This process changes us, forcing us to deeply think about our priorities. Thinking seriously about what is really important to us, our attitude to life becomes much more serious.

Skill 3: First, do what you need to do first

This skill is the embodiment of the first two. This is a physical creation. The skill 3 is based on setting short -term targets.

Having dealt with your main paradigms and values, you need to learn effective self -government in order to build your life in accordance with them. This will require willpower to force yourself to do what you don’t really want. You need to learn how to manage not time, but by yourself.

Skill of 3 highly effective people according to Stephen Kovi

There are two factors that determine the activity - urgency and importance:

Urgent affairs require immediate attention. They are visible and, as a rule, not difficult.
Important things contribute to the achievement of the result. They are directly related to our values \u200b\u200band mission.

Conditionally, all types of things can be divided into groups:

Important and urgent
Important, but not very urgent
Not very important, but urgent
Not very important and not very urgent

The core of effective life management is the case from group 2 (important, but not very urgent). However, we rarely make them. After all, they do not require immediate response.

Really effective people pay more attention to such matters. To achieve effectiveness, one must strive to reduce the volume of affairs from group 1 (important and urgent). This will lead to a significant decrease in stress and anxiety in life.

A man is also effective not to do business from groups 3 and 4, because they are not particularly important, but only take time. It is necessary to learn to say the word “no” to such matters, even if they are urgent.

Skill 3 will allow self -organization, and in its actions to rely on life priorities. That is why it is so important to determine them correctly.

The basis of this skill is a weekly planning:

Determine what your main roles you will perform in the week.
Choose for each of them 2-3 results that you want to achieve this week. Distribute them in priority.
Plan your actions, given the roles and priority.
Keep the balance - focusing on one area of \u200b\u200blife, do not neglect the others.
Delegate - involve others in the tasks of others. Make a list of cases that can be delegated, and a list of people who can fulfill them.

Let us dwell separately in the process of delegation - one of the main ways to free your time:

By delegating tasks, focus on the desired result, and not on the ways to achieve it.
Set the rules for partners. Preferably, a minimum.
List resources (temporary, material, human) that can be used.
Determine the standards, and set reports.
Tell me about the consequences (positive or negative), to which the final assessment of the results will lead.

Skill 4: "Think in the spirit I won/won"

This skill is a search for mutual benefits in people's communication. Most of our successful results depend on the ability to cooperate with other people.

Kovey claims that the basis of life is cooperation, not rivalry. Our success should not exclude the success of another individual or achieve at the expense of him. In any organization, no competition is important for productive successful work, but a partnership.

Skill of 4 highly effective people in Stephen Covi

The advantages of the model “won/won”:

Positively affects long -term relationships.
Removes negative energy that appears due to differences between people.
It contributes to the fact that both sides are satisfied, so they act according to the planned plan.
Lines on a person responsibility for the implementation of the agreements reached within the framework of the agreed rules.

In order to build people's interaction in line, I “won/won” is necessary:

Have a whole character. After all, it is impossible to achieve success, not clearly understanding its main values \u200b\u200band ways to achieve them.
To have an attitude that in the world everything is enough for everything (“mentality of sufficiency”). This installation stems from self -esteem and self -confidence in himself.
To be a mature person, that is, have the courage to express your feelings and have sensitivity to the values \u200b\u200bof others.
Build trust. People are open when they trust each other.

How to develop skill 4:

Look at the problem from the point of view of your interlocutor.
Determine the main concerns related to the problem.
Designate what kind of results it is necessary to achieve.
Find different options to achieve the desired results.

In cases where the parties cannot come to a decision that suits everyone, use the principle “won/won” or not to contact. ” Its essence is to, if it is impossible to get mutual benefit, to abandon cooperation in general. It is better to do this at the very beginning than then to experience disappointment from unjustified expectations or fulfill obligations that do not suit you. Such an installation will give you certain freedom, since no one needs to convince anyone or resort to manipulation.

Sometimes life is faced with a partner who accepts only such a position when he wins, and you lose.

In this case, act like this:

Listen more carefully and more.
Demonstrate sincere attention to his beliefs.
Be as kind as possible.
Invent different solutions, until the enemy believes that you really want everything to win.
If the interlocutor cannot think otherwise, use the option of “not to bind”.

Skill 5: Strive to understand first, then - be understood

We devote a huge part of our lives to communication with other people. Surprisingly, most of us listen to the interlocutor not with the intention of understanding him, but with the intention of answering him. That is, listening to a person, we expect when we can speak ourselves. At the same time, we look at the person’s problem through our own paradigms, let everything through our biography.

Skill of 5 highly effective people according to Stephen Kovi

As we usually listen, relying on our personal experience:

We give an assessment, disagreeing or agreeing at the same time.
We are engaged in exciting, asking questions.
We give advice based on our own experience.
We interpret, explaining the actions of the interlocutor through his own life values.

But for an effective impact on a partner, you need to sincerely understand it. The basis of the skill 5 is the method of empathic listening, based on the desire to deeply understand the other.

Features of the empathic hearing:

Such a hearing is not a technical technique, such as an active or reflective hearing, which is associated with facial expressions and gestures.
This is an attempt to see the situation through the eyes of the interlocutor.
During the conversation, not only the content, but also the speaker’s feelings.
Before giving advice, try to deeply penetrate the essence of the person’s problem.
Only by satisfying the needs of the interlocutor to be understood, you can influence him, giving advice or encouraging action.
This method of communication is based on a strong character. Be truly confident in yourself, since with this method of listening you are exposed and become vulnerable.

The technique of the empathic hearing is the following stages:

Repetition of what the person says. This process is similar to the methods of active and reflective hearing.
Poofrasing when you repeat the thought of the interlocutor, but in other words.
Reflection of feelings in which you mean what emotions the speaker experiences.
Poofrasing and reflection of feelings is the most effective stage, as it unites the third and fourth. Popures of the words, you show that you hear what a person is talking about. And reflecting the feelings - that you understand what emotions he experiences.

People want to be understood. And the time spent on an empathic hearing will bring a great return in the form of mutual understanding and trust.

But using this technique, you must sincerely want to understand the interlocutor, and not use it for manipulation purposes. People will definitely feel this and stop trusting you.

Part two skill 5 - this is to become understood. And to succeed in this, it is necessary:

Be brief and logical. You need to express your considerations specifically and clearly.
To convince people that you yourself believe in your ideas and strive for mutual benefit.

Important: Having mastered the skill 5, a person will be able to achieve the effectiveness of communication in his personal life (with children, spouse) and in the professional field (with employees or clients).

Skill 6: APPLITURE Synergy

Synergy is a manifestation and result of previous skills. The basic principle of skill is always more than the sum of its components.

The foundation of synergy is creative cooperation. Acting together, people can achieve much greater success than working alone.

By making the basis of thinking only his experience, a person limits the amount of information coming to him. And with synergistic communication, he opens his mind for many alternatives.

Skill of 6 highly effective people in Stephen Kovi

An effective person sees the possibilities that opens for him cooperation with other people, even if there are many differences. After all, the same does not mean unity. It is necessary to allow the case of both parties. Social or emotional differences can become the basis for creating new, best formations.

Basic principles of synergy:

Respect the differences. To do this, you need to realize that people see the world in their own way.
Develop the parties strong, and weak compensate.
Focus on the third alternative. This should be a solution that suits both. It should be the best, superior to initial expectations.
Promote the coherence and cohesion of the team. Penetrating the essence of things, all participants achieve growth and success.
The more frank and sincere you will become, the better people will respond to your words. Openness literally infects everyone, inspires the creative process. New ideas are expressed, new goals are determined.
Synergy is inspiring. People who survived her will not become the same.
Real synergy is based on skill 5. Therefore, before the start of teamwork, it is necessary to give people the opportunity to communicate empathetically so that confidence arises between them.

Skill 7: Lip the saw

The seventh effectiveness skill is a person’s update at all levels, or measurements:

Physical
Spiritual
Intellectual
Socio-emotional

The basic principle is that we must regularly and reasonably develop all our measurements. It is necessary to do this for the sake of ourselves in order to have the strength to cope with life difficulties.

Personal renewal is a process leading us to growth and improvement. Physical update is necessary for the normal functioning of our body.

Skill of 7 highly effective people according to Stephen Kovi

The rules are simple and known to everyone:

Engage in physical activity
Eat properly
Avoid excesses

Spiritual dimension is our rod, our value system.

Put and update it:

Sources that inspire us. For all people, they are different: the Bible, meditation, music, literature or visiting places associated with the happiest moments of life.
Clarification of life goals and compliance with them.
Effective planning.

Intellectual level.

Many people, having graduated from school or institute, stop the development of intelligence. They do not study anything new that would go beyond professional interests, read only art books, spend a lot of time by the TV. But a person needs to constantly train his mind and expand the horizons.

For the purpose of intellectual update:

Read good literature, especially the biographies of great people.
Train the skill of writing. Write deep long letters to your friends or take a diary.
See cognitive television programs.

The socio-emotional dimension includes relationships with other people, intimacy, communication.

Constantly develop this dimension:

Strive for unity between your internal content and actions.
Interact creatively with others.
Help people, try to make someone's life happier.
Carry out projects that bring pleasure to you, and do others happy.
Try to benefit someone every day.
Become the inspirer of others.
Refuse shortcuts and familiar judgments.
Make a script for other people the best that they themselves compiled.

The update should be balanced. The neglect of one sphere negatively affects the rest. Select every day for an hour to develop all areas. This will allow you to live much more effective and better.

Emotional Bank account

Special attention is deserved by the concept introduced by Covi - an emotional bank account, which denotes the level of trust. Interaction with people will not be effective without trust.

Constantly replenishing your personal emotional bank account:

Strive for understanding others. Your priorities may not mean anything to them.
Important things for a person should become as important for you as this person himself.
Pay attention to the little things. Even a small sign of attention brings a huge contribution. And minor manifestations of disrespect or superiority can withdraw from this account. Do not forget that there are no little things in human relationships.
Fulfill obligations. Their failure leads to significant damage. And they will cease to believe.
Clarify your expectations. If they are unclear, this leads to a misunderstanding between people and the loss of trust. Expectations are often hidden. We do not formulate them, but we are sure that our partner will act in a certain way. Therefore, it is very important to clarify the situation.
Be a whole person. Integrity means that in relation to all you are guided by one system of principles. Stop up for the absent. This will cause trust in those present.