What to do if the child got into a bad company: signs, causes, reviews, recommendations of a psychologist on how to protect a teenager from a bad company

In this article we’ll talk about what to do and who is to blame for the fact that the child was in a bad company. Here you will find tips for psychologists and parents' reviews.

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How to understand that the child fell into a bad company: signs

Children grow very quickly. While the child is completely baby, mom does not think about which company he will get into. And about how this can affect his life in the future.

The nightmare of any mother - her child fell into a terrible situation that threatens his life and health. Any child can get into a bad company. Both children from prosperous and dysfunctional families have the same chances to become those with whom parents forbid to communicate to their children.

The dangerous period occurs in adolescence. Parents should be very attentive to their child at this age especially. After all, the environment greatly affects the formation of personality and further life. Then the child can understand that he got into a bad company, but the time will be missed.

Let's put all the dots over "I". First you should figure out what a bad company is.

Important: if adolescents in the company wear torn jeans and tunnels in their ears, this does not mean that the company is bad. In adolescence, many want to stand out and seek themselves.

If your teenagers walk late with loud music and do not look like everyone else, this does not mean at all that the company is bad. Teenagers can swear obscenities, and this is also not a sign of a bad company. It is much worse when they engage in theft, drink alcohol and drugs, smoke.

Parents should be wary if:

The teenager began to disappear somewhere and does not tell anything about where he was.
The teenager has become a vicious closed, behaves suspiciously, does not share anything with you.
He became unusually rude.
He does not want to introduce you to his friends or just talk about them.
He began to lie.

Not just to be wary, but even the alarm should be sounded in such cases:

The child began to skip school.
He comes home with the smell of alcohol, cigarettes, with traces of beatings.
Things began to disappear from the house.
He does not spend the night at home.

Unfortunately, growing up a child may not begin as parents imagined it. Even the most positive children in adolescence can break firewood. Parental opinion and words cease to be authority for many, and family values \u200b\u200bare no longer guidelines in life.

What is important to remember to parents in such a situation? One simple rule.

Important: other children did not drag the child into a bad company, and he himself came there. It was his choice, his desire. But what caused this desire is a big question that has to be sorted out.

How to understand that a teenager got into a bad company

Why the child fell into a bad company: reasons

The reasons why adolescents fall into a bad company can be different. But the main reason is cracks in the foundation of the family.

The reasons why a teenager falls into a bad company:

He does not want to live like parents. If the family has no respect for each other, parents are not interested in each other, if the house has a tense and cold atmosphere, then the child begins to look for brightness. Until he understands that this brightness is imaginary, but he does not want to live as they live in his family.
If a the opinion of the child is not taken into account. If the child does not feel a full -fledged member of the family, they are not considered with him, they never consult with him. It is logical that he will find a place where he is respected, where he is listened to him.
Excessive criticism by parents In attempts to “grow a good person”, and the lack of praise. If the child constantly hears reproaches and udors: You are not like that, you are doing everything wrong, it's all because of you, if not for you, look at Vasya, Petya, etc. In this case, the child will find a place where he will be accepted as he is, where he will be loved and praised.
Resentment and desire to take revenge on parents. This happens when parents get divorced and begin to configure the child against each other. If, for example, the youngest child is loved more. If the child is undeservedly punished without understanding the situation. Then the child acts on the principle: “I felt bad, and now it will be bad for you!” He does not understand what does not only do not only parents, but also himself, first of all.
The struggle for attention. It happens that parents are too busy with themselves, providing family, household problems. As a result, they have no time for a child at all. It is treated with indifference, do not praise for success, however, as they do not punish. Do not pay due attention to him. In adolescence, a child may want to attract attention in this way. He thinks, let him be bad, let him be bad, but maybe at least in this case he will be noticed and pay attention.

Why is a teenager "pulling" in a bad company?

Important: Remember that the child does not always get into a bad company, because he is disliked, has low self -esteem and seeks compensation to his feelings outside the house.

Often teenagers experience youth maximalism. They think everything on the shoulder, the connection between the act and the consequence, they do not yet understand. They want to try something forbidden, they check the boundaries of the permissible.
Also, the cause of getting into a bad company may be boredom. The teenager may be bored with the usual way of life, he will want to throw something out of the ordinary. Perhaps he simply has nothing to do after school.
Sometimes teenagers they want to gain liberation And for this they go for advice to “bad girls” or “bad boys”.
It happens that a child, due to his age and youthful maximalism feels "Messiah". The boys go to a bad company to save the girls, and the girls are boys.

How to prevent a child from getting into a bad company?

Important: in this situation, the problem is easier to prevent than to solve it later.

Parents should think even on the verge of adolescence, how to make sure that the child does not go outside for advice, for emotions, for impressions, for respect and the opportunity to express themselves.

What the parents can do:

Create such an atmosphere in a family for a child security and confidencethat no "cool boys" will be able to replace this.
To assure the child that he lovethat his opinion is very valuable, that his respect, accept and understand.
Install with the child trusting relationship And in no case do not lose them.
Show on the example of your family an interesting, bright lifeFilled with respect and love for each other.

To do this, it is not enough to be people who are just living in the same territory. You must be people, close -ups with a common goal, interests, traditions.

How to protect a child from a bad company: tips

What can be done practically:

Establish in the family the rules of respect for each other if they are not. In every family, these can be different rules. For example, mom has no right to go to a child without knocking. A teenager should not violate the silence at 8 in the morning with music.
Distribute family responsibilities. Everyone should have its own responsibilities, which each member of the family makes an important contribution to the life and existence of the same family. For example, mom monitors the house, dad earns money, a teenager goes to the store for groceries.
Bring family traditions. This is something that ralves the family and makes life brighter. For example, every weekend you must spend time actively. For example, all together go to a picnic, everyone ride on scooters, everyone goes to the cinema. The main thing is that all family members be interesting.

Important: parents should direct the vector of attention not only to the child, but also to themselves. Think about what is your family? What are the interests? How do you spend leisure and what can you teach a child? How to fill your child?

If parents themselves lead a lifestyle from which you should not take an example, what to be surprised? Start with yourself. Then ask yourself the following questions:

What am I talking about with the child most often?
Are we uniting interesting joint classes, leisure?
What is the parent from the point of view of the child?

Answer yourself very honestly to these questions. Most conversations with children come down to lessons, behavior and homework. Less common parents speak life topics. Joint classes are often in charge of everyday life. What mutual understanding, trust, friendship between the parent and the child can we talk?

Try to become a child to become a child. Do not lose trust in his eyes. If he at least once caught you at the moment when you climbed into his phone, trust will be lost.

So that the child does not have the time and desire to contact the "bad guys" take all his free time. Find a hobby that will be a teenager to your liking:

Struggle
Football
Swimming
Driving school
School of Art
Dancing
Foreign language School

There are a lot of possibilities, you only need a desire.

Video: Teen and company

What to do to parents if the child fell into a bad company: a psychologist's advice

If the situation could not be prevented, and the child has already got into a bad company, it’s not too late to fix everything. The main thing:

Do not panic and do not scare!
Do not demonstrate your indignation and disagreement!
Act wisely!

Important: if the child got into a bad company, your goal is to "turn the child to himself."

What to do:

Collect information about his new friends. Find out who they are, where, what they are doing. You cannot directly forbid your teenager to communicate with them, he will do it secretly later. But you can accidentally sow in his mind doubts about new friends.
Talk more often with your growing child, offer him interesting classes, do something, distract from a bad company. Inquire about how the day has passed, what is interesting.
Talk about his new friends. Let the child tell you about them, do not bring them to the blacklist. So you can get more trust from your child.
Try to become a child to become a friend. Tell us about yourself, about your adolescence. Do not faint from the fact that you learned that the child is smoking. Instead, tell him how the girl from your class was bad from this.
Warn about the dangers, But give the choice to make it yourself. Follow the tips of your child. Listen to its point of view. Take care of his opinion.

You cannot lock the teenager in the room and forbid him to communicate with his company. This will cause the opposite effect. Talk on this topic without hostility.

Do not say: "What could you do this?"

Together this:

"I am worried that something will happen to you."
“Promise, give me a sign if you are in danger!”
"I am worried when you walk late."

Help your child find an alternative to gatherings with a bad company: write him in a driving school, dancing, for diving courses.
Help your child see the difference between communication in a good and bad company.
Try to drag the child to a psychologist if you see that you cannot influence the situation yourself.

Some parents make dramatic decisions up to moving to another city if they see that the child has sucked a bad company.

It is better to take all the necessary measures than to look for your child in the children's rooms of the police and the Zlamic institutions. For parents, this is not a simple thing. After all, there are many worries on their shoulders. But it is very important not to miss this moment. For the parent, the most valuable is the life of the child.

Child and bad company: reviews

Tatiana: “I advise you to recall yourself more often in adolescence: what words were wounded by, what they experienced, why they rebelled against parental will. Then it will be easier to understand the child. Do not panic. Give the children the opportunity to "get sick" with their adolescence. Do not be afraid and do not hesitate to demonstrate your love to grown children. Do not make fun of their problems, even if they seem ridiculous to you. The child should know that in his family they will always understand, accept and forgive him. Many adolescents go through this, but most with age understand what is good and what is bad. ”

Victoria: “I myself was a problem teenager. With our friends, we tried many forbidden and unnecessary things. Mom forbade me to communicate with my friends in high colors, threatened, screamed. Once I told her: “You want to forbid it, but I will still communicate with them. Only you will not know anything about it. ” So it was. Until our roads and friends parted. ”

Valentine: “My son is a teenager. We pass the stage of personality, but so far there are no problems with a bad company. Maybe because from a very early age my husband and I have been friends, authority, and support for my son. We always praise, always reckon with him. We tell and explain what such actions lead to. We speak on all topics, do not be shy. We discuss relations with girls, we talk about friendship and betrayal. We discuss dreams and plans, travel. My son and I have a reinforced concrete rule - no matter what happens to him, he will let us know, and we will take him, help, save. He walks to walk in the evening. I still keep calm. ”

A bad company is a consequence, and the causes can be very serious. To prevent and remove the child from a bad company from parents, considerable dedication, patience, wisdom are required. Do not look for the guilty in this situation, it just needs to be changed. We hope you can solve this problem with the least painless way for yourself and for a teenager.