In this topic, we will study the issue of children's aggressiveness in kindergarten.
Content
Almost every parent faces a problem when a child, going to kindergarten, begins to fight or bite there. Or, on the contrary, it becomes a victim of such a "hooligan." And this situation requires a certain reaction of the elders. After all, it is not very pleasant to listen to complaints about your favorite child, and even more unpleasant to find toothy marks or bruises on the child’s body. Therefore, in this article you can find useful information and practical advice of psychologists how to cope with the problem when the child fights, bites.
Why the child fights, bites in kindergarten: reasons - recommendations and instructions of specialists
First of all, it is worth noting that you should not panic or blame yourself that you are a bad parent. Remember that this happens to many children. The second and most importantly - it is necessary to find out the reason for this behavior in the child in order to diagnose the decision. But if the child is fighting, bites even at a small preschool age - it is impossible to let the situation on its own in any case!
We will say the age -related permissible framework of such behavior
- The study of the surrounding world acts as a root cause. After all, children up to 1.5-2 yearsthe whole world is known "on the tooth." The first of the main reflexes in people is sucking, it helps us to survive, and in the future the child continues to use the mouth to study everything around.
- When the teeth begin to cut, everything that lies poorly is to chewing. At this age, children do not yet understand what is bad and what is good.
- But from 2 to 4 years oldthe child is already well evaluated by the situation. Moreover, often in this interval there is a change of home environment to kindergarten. And then the “war” begins for the best toy or book, which includes all the abilities of the baby. But he still does not fully understand the overall picture.
- After 5 years The child has a complete understanding of the conflict. Even more, after this age, if the child fights or bites, this indicates an intentional act!
The internal reasons why the child fights is biting
| Cause | Characteristic | Solution |
| Imitation |
Sometimes parents, playing with the baby, bite him lightly. The child imitating, can bite another child in the garden, without even realizing what he is doing. A similar situation may arise if there is a beating child in the garden.
|
In this situation, only Calm conversations. Parents should explain to the baby that this is bad to do. Learn the baby also to share with other children on the site toys, wait for your turn to the swing, etc. And, of course, exclude games with biting, even comic. |
| Increased sensitivity (sensitivity) of the child | Most often, in young children, it is expressed in increased anxiety, and to a greater extent occurs at the first stages of stay in the garden/ when the group is changed. | Therefore, parents should maximize the smoothness of the adaptation period. Do not leave it too early for the whole day. Let me take your favorite toy with you. Take it at the agreed time. And try at home Surround as much as possible with care and love, So that he feels your protection even at a distance. |
|
An attempt to influence other children
|
In the game, the baby is trying to establish his own rules, but they do not listen to him. And he finds one way out, how to force himself to obey - only by force. | Let the child explain that it is impossible to force to play only by his own rules, because it should be interesting and comfortable for everyone. And no one will love offenders. |
| Defensive reaction | If the baby was beaten, other children bit in the garden, then he begins to defend himself. The imitation is slightly echoed, but in a more acute form. It may arise against the backdrop of non -recognition in a new team, when they do not take games or simply ridicule, offend. | The first and most important is Your support! We do not criticize that the baby did something wrong. You are his parents and always be on his side! But conflicts are not resolved by power methods - only conversations and good deeds. Let him help, share a toy or make contact first. |
| Hyperactive temperament | Children begin to fight or bite, who simply have nowhere to put energy! And less mobile peers begin to suffer. | Therefore, organize the daily routine of your baby so that he simply does not have time for pranks. But keep in mind - after lunch there should not be very active classes. |
| Fatigue | There are situations when parents themselves overly overload the baby with various sections, not taking into account his possibilities. And sometimes just the baby is tired of the bustle of the kindergarten. | In such a situation, the baby just needs rest. Do not even load him with explanatory conversations. If necessary, arrange an unscheduled day off. |
Parents' mistakes, because of which the child fights, bites
| Cause | Characteristic | R enjoy |
| Violation of personal space | Each person has his own personal space, and even such a little man. And if it is violated, there is a feeling of discomfort. A child who feels inconvenience begins to look for ways to get out of this position and finds the easiest - to push or bite to be behind him. |
Very often this happens with younger children in families who need to protect their territory from older children. In a similar way, they begin to behave in the garden. But the reverse side is also possible when the older child should give the new member of the family his toys. Remember - the baby should only share voluntarily!
|
| Excessive control, criticism and prohibitions | There are parents who, without arguments, give an indication only “no”/“impossible” to any children's requests. Moreover, this applies even to banal aspects of life. Through fights and biting, the baby just wants to leave this framework. | You cannot protect the baby from all hardships. Help and prompt, but He must learn from his mistakes! And never limit the excessive (!) Frame of sterility and accuracy - you take normal development. For example, plasticine is useful for motor skills of small hands, and parents forbid him to stain the expensive carpet due to fear. The way out is obvious! |
| Specialty | The opposite position, when parents do not know the word "no." And for any, even intentional prank and real dirty tricks, the child does not bear any punishment. Even a hysteria in the store ends with a chosen candy. | Children quickly understand that any of their behavior will not be punished. And even faster they realize that “stomping your leg”, the desire will be on a saucer. If he screams in the store, then you need to turn around and go out without a presentation. |
| Aggression by parents | The slap and slap on the pope for any act or misconduct is the first way to the fact that you will grow an aggressor. And in his understanding, this behavior will be the norm. | Never hit your child! So that he does not do, keep your hands and words to yourself! Choose a punishment by the strength of his age! No need to indulge the baby, but respect his desires and needs. And remember - you need to work first on yourself! |
| Frequent quarrels and conflicts in the family | Especially if they come with swearing and fights. But in this case, the child’s aggression does not speak of his cruelty - this is most likely a call for help. | Tabu for any quarrels with a child. Adult conflicts are resolved behind a closed door between adults! |
| Deficiency of love or desire to attract attention | Parents work around the clock, and there is no time for communication with a child at all. Thus, the child is simply trying to focus the attention of the elders on himself! | Pay attention to the baby! And don't do it on the machine! Ask at least 5 questions per day, really interested in the information told. Also take for the iron rule - hug every day and spend at least 20 minutes in the mutual communication zone. And of course - say as often as possible, that Love your child! |
Important: another modern problem is an abundance of games and television cartoons. Moreover, they can not always be kind. Carefully watch what the child is watching. And on the browsers, put "parental control." After all, forbidden advertising can jump out, and in a preschool child, without asking for permission.
How to wean a child to bite: General advice
- It is necessary to react immediately to the situation. Express disapproval and explain that such behavior is unacceptable!
- But Do not immediately take the side of the teacher. Listen and always stay on the side of the child. If you want him to trust you in the future. Indeed, sometimes such behavior is as protection. Understand, and then learn.
- Consolate the victim, while showing the “hooligan” that he caused pain. Bring him to provide first aid, for example, anoint the bruise with iodine or make a dressing. And be sure Persuad more for forgiveness, but do not force. Otherwise, he intends to offend once again.
- To teach to express dissatisfaction with words. If you know that your child can enter into a fight, you must carefully observe his behavior and prevent the occurrence of conflict situations. If you see that he intends to hit someone or bite, intervene immediately and explain that it is bad to fight. And if the baby is angry, then I must express that he was angry.
- Direct his energy without punishment for beatings or bites in outdoor games. Teach the baby to splash anger in a different direction!
- Create your fairy tale or intellectual game based on this situation. For example, two goats collided on the bridge, and neither she wants to give way. Let the child find a way out of the current situation. You can take examples from life, even heading for the garden.
- Do not forget to praise your baby for good deeds. A kind word acts much better than the “whip method”.
What can not be done if the child fights, bites?
- Cannot be applied with bodily punishment, This can lead to even greater aggression.
- You can’t bite the child in response to a bite, even playfully. Such behavior can lead to strengthening a bad habit, and convince of the correctness of such behavior.
- In no case, Do not apply such punishment methods, As washing the mouth with soap and the like. Such behavior for civilized people is unacceptable!
Important: if the child does not go through the child or passes any framework of the permitted understanding, then you should contact a neurologist!
Video: How to deal with childhood aggression?
To talk with him, to educate him, we began to talk like with an adult and I still decided to try to give Baby the formula of Mishka Calm, and this worked, the child began to understand what he was telling and became more obedient, there are no longer conflicts in the kindergarten)