Alpha Parenthood

The postulates of the theory of G. Neufeld. Characteristics of the parent-alpha.

Content

Parents are the closest and loving people for crumbs. From the moment of birth, he watches them, learns to know the world and himself according to their reactions and the manifested emotions.

Why is this happening? What is there in a child who helps him to develop rapidly in the first years of life? We will answer these questions in the article. Let's talk about alpha dominance of parents or the method of natural education.

Alpha parents

Alpha is the first letter in the Greek alphabet and a sign of dominance. When it is clearly determined what or who affects the rest. On the other hand, alpha is a big responsibility.

Parents always come from the motives of care and love in relation to the child. They are firmly convinced of this. But not all methods of education benefit the baby.

Parents-alpha are different from all others in their approach in interaction with the child.

Realizing that they are an example and carrier, they are engaged in self -improvement all their lives
Looking for the prerequisites and explanations of the child’s behavior not outside, but in themselves and their past actions
Always available for communication are at the distance of an "outstretched arm"
They accept the child as he is, without a goal globally redraw it to their taste
In a word and deed show its importance and significance
Allow the baby to enjoy childhood and live all the stages of growing up
Encourage his initiative in knowing the world without harm to health and threat of life
They know about the invisible thread of attachment between them and the child, do not tear and try not to pull it
Conscious in choosing the approaches of education in each specific situation
Help the child open up and realize his potential, and not become a comfortable social screw screw
Sometimes they violate their own rules
Even punishing, they feel love in the heart in relation to the child
Choosing the tactics of their behavior, adhere to the basic principle of "time, place, circumstances." For example, for a child, it is natural to grow without diapers and with a minimum of clothing. But if you live in the area where winter happens, and the apartment is often cold, then you can’t do without them and a warm suit
Allow themselves to be natural with children, without ignoring and clamps of their negative emotions
We are sure that a lot can be done with the child, not without him

Speaking in simple words, the alpha-children practice:

home birth
breastfeeding before dedication
response to any squeak of crumbs, wearing it on hand
joint sleep with tiny
slings, ergotyukzaki, hipsitis
education at home, not in kindergarten
home schooling instead of the first grades of the school
life without vaccinations
constant emotional contact with the child
patience, acceptance, forgiveness, love every day

It should be noted that healthy parental dominance is not a fanatical execution of the theory, but a reasonable approach and the possibility of deviation from its postulates.

At the heart of the theory of alpha dominance are:

emotional contact with the child
his attachment to parents
recognition of the potential laid down in a child

The parental goal is to help the baby reveal and realize himself in a natural way without special stimulations. This is the key to his future maturity.

Conventionally, we will divide the approaches in raising into two groups - man -made and natural.

The first - Sculptors - they mercilessly wield a shirt and a hammer, cutting off all unnecessary and uncomfortable in the behavior and personality of the child. Early development, special gardens and schools, training, rehearsals, competitions, Olympic medals. And depression, psychological disorders, loneliness in human society as the most likely scenarios in the future.

The second - Elephants - support, gently direct, rejoice and spend a lot of time together. They like to walk on the principle of a tail-hobot-hut, when the baby goes in the middle between parents. Resistance to tests, emotional maturity, preservation of individuality and taste to life will become the most likely companions in the future of the child.

These "elephants" are alpha-differentia.

But in everything there should be a measure without fanatical excesses. Alphas also give birth in maternity hospitals, give the kids to kindergartens, schools, athletes, and music schools. They are sent to the grandmothers for the holidays, they invite tutors. Time, place, circumstances - this is the principle that they try to be guided in their lives
Even if you think such an approach, think for a moment that there are other scenarios of education. Perhaps it is at this moment that you can solve the problem or disagreement with your child, looking at the situation with his eyes

Alpha Parenthood and the theory of affection

The ancient Vedic Scriptures say that from the moment the child is born, he is attached to the one whom he saw the first
During the first year of the baby’s life, taking care of him and being maximum time nearby, we form this invisible thread of attachment. Thanks to her, his education will take place in the future
There is a zone in the brain in the brain that is responsible for the formation and work of attachment to parents or an adult raising it. If there is a threat of her rupture, nervous impulses enter his brain and the child begins to cry, mood, behave irritably for adults
Allegorically, this is similar to pushing the chicks from the nest by bird birds. At the same time, the first with all their might claws and beaks cling to the last
Time auto, temporary silence, standing in the corner, a lonely in a closed room as methods of the usual model of raising a child are perceived by him as a threat of affection for dear adults

Results:

increased anxiety
lack of call to emotional manifestations
blindness in relation to the source of irritation
emotional flight from those to whom he was attached

That is, the child’s psyche step by step realizes the strategy “I don’t show, I don’t see but I don’t feel” to protect it from excessive load and death.

Alfa-replacements are aware of the importance of attachment for the child. Therefore, they consciously choose such methods of education that do not threaten it with a break and loss of contact with him in the future.

Alpha Parenthood: The look of scientists

The English scientist Bowlby first drew attention to the problematic children-recessors of the post-war period. He established a connection between their behavior, a psychological state, the implementation and lack of parental guardianship and love during growing up
His achievements became the basis in the scientific delights of the Canadian Doctor of Psychology G. Neufeld. He subsequently became the founder of the theory of Alpha of the Parenthood, which has been widely spread from the end of the last century.
In the middle of the 20th century, Harry Harlow and 10 years after him Mary Einsvort conducted practical experiments confirming the theory of affection in babies
G. Harlow observed the behavior of the children of monkeys Rhesus, taking them away from his mother and replacing it with stuffed with one of the wire, the second is covered with wool. He noticed that the kids spend more time with a soft mother, pressed against her, hug. That is, heat and touch are important to them
M. Einsworth studied the relationship of real mothers with crumbs. The first year of life, she and assistants watched their life, the behavior of mothers, their reaction to crying and discomfort of the child. Then all the subjects were placed in an empty room, and the experiment was called “unfamiliar situation”. The bottom line is to separate children from mothers for a while, then return them and fix the behavior of the kids

Einsworth discovered 3 groups of children:

strongly attached
low -tied
without affection

The first group is babies whose mothers have always responded to any of their crying.

The third - who ignored them.

The second - were inconsistent in the manifestation of care and soothing hugs.

It is interesting that scientists of different areas of science - psychology of behavior, ethology and psychoanalysis came to the phenomenon of attachment work. That is, Z. Freud still built his theories on the fact of the child’s attachment to the adult.

Although the theory of alpha of parenthood also has opponents among behaviorists and adherents of other education schools, for example, Chinese, Japanese.