I became pregnant, and my husband does not want a child, what to do? What to do if the husband does not want children: a psychologist's advice

If you live a happy family life, but your spouse does not want a child, you need to more than understand the reasons for this unwillingness. Perhaps this will help the article.

A man and a woman find each other, get married, they have children, and the house is filled with happiness. Such an idealistic picture looms in his head the beautiful half of humanity.

Unfortunately, in life this does not always happen, and even in couples, between which, it would seem, there are love, respect and understanding, a rather serious problem may arise when a wife dreams of giving birth to a child, and her husband does not want this categorically. The fate of both spouses then become at risk. So why can a loving husband not want a common child? Is it possible to change its point of view?

Why doesn't the husband want a common child?

If a man does not want a child immediately after the wedding or through the years of life together, you do not need to think about him badly. Most likely, he has a good reason. Indeed, in order for this unwillingness to appear, he had to cross at least two very important things later: the instinct of continuing the genus and the stereotype of paternity as an integral part of masculinity.

Important: if the husband does not want the birth of a common baby, this does not mean at all that he does not like his wife. Unwillingness to be a father, a woman should not always take in her account

Usually, the reasons why the husband does not want his wife to give birth to a child from him, objective. A woman will easily understand them if she tries to delve into the essence.

1. The husband is not sure of his wife or the strength of their relationship. All are living people with complex feelings. You can’t blame the husband if one day he doubts in feelings for his wife, the strength of the family or her future. In this case, the birth of his child, who will connect the spouses, cannot be called an appropriate event
2. The husband is not sure that he can financially pull the birth of a child. On the one hand, from everywhere they say that the baby is not a toy to put it on, put on, grow, learn to spend a lot of money. Having not yet become a father, a man feels a burden of responsibility. On the other hand, if he himself had not the best childhood, he wants to either have a child and give him everything, or not have him at all, if he is capable of less. Also, in the practice of psychologists, there were cases when men did not want children after their wives themselves purposefully or by chance noted their financial failure and the inability to perform the function of the earner in the family
3. The husband stops problems with their own health or the fear of the fact that the baby will be unhealthy. If he has any serious or chronic diseases, he may be afraid that because of them it will not be a full-fledged father to the baby. Either in his family there are serious pathologies transmitted from generation to generation, and he suggests that the baby will inherit them
4. The husband does not want to re -experience sad experience after miscarriages or frozen pregnancies. If the baby dies, never born, not only the woman suffers. Yes, the man did not wear him under his heart, did not experience painful medical procedures, perhaps he did not fill in tears. But this does not mean that such sad events bypassed him. It can be injured so much that he no longer wants to even try, fearing that the pregnancy will end again tragically
5. On the example of others, the man realized that the birth of a child would not entail anything good. Perhaps in his environment there are couples whose marriage cracked after they had a baby. Perhaps his friends, who have children, constantly complain about the burden of responsibility, constant problems, childhood illnesses, financial waste, and so on. But, most likely, the unwillingness to have children in a man gave rise to his own family, in which children were considered punishment, deprived of their attention or cruelly treated them
6. The husband is afraid that his wife will change after the birth of their common child. We are talking about external and internal changes. A man can worry about the fact that a young mother will recover or cease to take care of herself. He can confuse him that with the birth of his son or daughter, he will become secondary for his wife, she will love him less, pay less attention to him, communicate less with him. In the end, he may think that a woman, having become a mother, will lose herself in household chores and troubles associated with motherhood, will cease to be an interesting person. If you look true, like his fears are quite justified, and indeed, often women are too fond of motherhood and change far for the better
7. The man simply did not mature morally to becoming a father. Or he just thinks
8. A man has children from a previous marriage, he does not want to become a father anymore

Important: sometimes it happens that a man is either an egoist, or simply does not want to leave the comfort zone, change anything in his life. It is very difficult to convince such a common child. Then a dilemma arises in front of a woman: to stay with this person and deprive himself of the joy of motherhood, or try to create a full-fledged family with someone else

VIDEO: If the husband does not want children, what to do?

Husband does not want a child, a psychologist's advice

Family psychologists agree that in no case should a man give birth to a joint child against his will - to arrange tantrums, beg, threaten a divorce, and so on.

Even if the baby is born, sooner or later such a family is waiting for a collapse. The wife should lead herself wisely, to understand why the husband does not want children, and try to convince him.

1. If the reason is the uncertainty in his wife, she must prove her loyalty, love, respect with words and actions to her husband. He must know that he will always be able to rely on her, that she will support and inspire him, never doubt his success or vice in the role of his father
2. It is important for a man who has a fear that he will not be able to financially provide his family with a child to understand that the birth of a baby is not a catastrophe for the family budget. It would be nice to find an example of families in which financial wealth appeared after children appeared in them, where motherhood and paternity did not prevent their parents from realizing in a professional field, making a career and earn good money. He must understand that monetary stability can occur at the moment when the baby can’t give birth to, or not to come at all. The saying is appropriate here: "If God gives a child, he will also give him"
3. If a man is not healthy, or he has poor heredity, it is necessary to attract specialists - psychologist, genetics, and so on to help in resolving the issue of paternity. Perhaps the fears of a man are justified, and a high probability of the birth of a baby with serious pathologies. Playing roulette with the health of the crumbs is stupid. Then both the husband and the wife must seriously think about the issues of the donation of sperm or adoption
4. The same applies to the case with unsuccessful previous pregnancies. Only here it should be soberly assessed the health and ability to become parents of both spouses
5. If the husband does not want his wife to give birth to a child, since he has seen enough of friends or acquaintances that are not very happy in marriage, his wife should try to introduce him into a new circle of communication. One in which he will see how valuable children, what a blessing they bring to the family, how great it is to spend time with them, or even just realize that you are your father
6. It seems to her husband that his fear of the fact that his wife will cease to love him so much after the birth of a child, has confirmation if, even at the stage of pregnancy planning, he hears constant reproaches. Women should behave in such a way that in no case does a man have the impression that she needs him only to conceive the baby. She must make him understand that she is already happy with him, and the birth of the baby will make her even happier
7. The wise wife should also unobtrusively make her husband more with children. It is necessary to take him with you to visit the godsoners and nephews, to attract gifts to the choice of gifts, to look after these children with him if their parents ask for this

Important: the most important thing is to give her husband to understand how much his wife wants a baby, how important it is to realize herself as a mother. If the spouse really loves and respects her, it will be the most important argument for him

I became pregnant, and my husband does not want a child, what to do?

A child in a family is a mutual solution to both spouses. And modern contraceptive means make it possible to make the pregnancy planned. Therefore, if the wife became pregnant, and the husband does not want a child, no matter how rude it sounds, there is stupidity or inconsistency of either herself or her husband.

1. The husband, who claims that he does not want to be a father, at the same time neglects contraceptives, behaves like a finished egoist, shows a complete disrespect for his wife and her health. If pregnancy occurs in this situation, a woman can only hope for the fact that a man will change his mind and accept the baby
2. And in the 21st century, women continue to use pregnancy as a means to tie a man. If the wife became pregnant deliberately to put her husband before the fact that she acts brutally

Important: in a situation where the pregnancy has happened, and the husband does not want a baby to any, the woman has three main options: to abortion, continue to convince her husband and hope that he will love the baby, or take all responsibility for himself and raise a child One

How to get pregnant if the husband does not want a child?

The child in the family should be born by mutual agreement of the spouses. Pregnancy contrary to her husband’s desire may well take place, but she will not bring happiness to the family. A woman needs to choose:

• take advice on how to convince her husband, and wait for him to want a child
• choose what is more important to her, this man or child, in the case of the second option, is to look for a new life partner

The husband does not want a second child, the tips of a psychologist

Preparing to become a father for the first time, a man only theoretically imagines what awaits him. He sees the baby as their fruit with the wife of love, something idealistic. The second child is already giving birth to consciously.

Mother and father are well aware of how difficult it is to grow him, how many things need to be abandoned, how difficult it is to provide the baby. A man can also scare the pregnancy of his wife and her behavior after childbirth, as well as scandals about the upbringing of the baby.

Important: a man has the right not to want a second child, and if a woman really does not give a damn about him, she must respect this desire

The husband does not want the third child, the tips of the psychologist. What to do if the husband does not want the third child?

When it comes to the third child in the family, one desire of the wife is clearly not enough. The family really should have health, financial, housing and other opportunities to grow three children. And a man in such a situation more often looks at things more soberly than a woman, blurred by love for two children that she already has.

Perhaps it is better to listen to the opinion of her husband and abandon the idea of \u200b\u200bthe birth of a third baby.

Important: the child is not a toy or a whim, one “I want” and “I love” from his mother will not be enough. You need to understand that it is much easier to get pregnant with a third baby and give birth to him than to educate, to provide and give him a start in life

Why doesn't the husband want children in his second marriage?

• If a man has a child from a previous marriage, he rightly believes that he successfully coped with the continuation of the clan
• The imprint also leaves an unsuccessful experience of family relationships: a man may think that pregnancy and birth of the baby will make a discord between him and his new wife
• Here a woman needs, again, to give a man to understand what is also important for her to be realized as a mother

Important: any question about the birth of a child in the family is very complicated. And if disagreements have disagreements on it, it is better not to aggravate the situation with scandals and mutual reproaches, but to turn to a family psychologist in a timely manner

Video: What to do if one of the spouses does not want children?