What is the consist of and what is the self -esteem? How to learn to value and respect yourself: practical steps, advice

In this article, we will consider how to develop our self -esteem. And also we will touch on his role in our life and tell you how to learn how to value and respect ourselves.

Self -esteem is a very important component of the life of any happy person. Nowadays, low self -esteem is a big problem. After all, this acts as a factor that prevents a person from growing and developing, and sometimes even able to badly harm. You must learn to respect yourself! How to do this and where to start, we will tell you below.

What is self -esteem and why you need to respect yourself?

If we turn to textbooks on psychology or sociology, we learn what self -esteem is.

• It has such an interpretation with a scientific language: this is a subjective assessment that a person gives himself, determining his capabilities, the degree of need and importance to others.
• Self -esteem is not manifested without adequate self -esteem. These two concepts are closely related and depend on each other.
• In its turn, adequate self -esteem - This is an opportunity to soberly evaluate his potential with the individual. And also accept, according to these criteria, decisions and perform deliberate actions. If there is no good self -esteem, then there is no self -esteem.
• An important factor in the formation of self -esteem is level of claims to yourself. A certain ratio of actual achievements to set goals. Goals are more often set by a person, relying on the alleged opportunities. This is the level of claims.
  • In simple words, a person may believe or not believe in his capabilities. And depending on this factor, it applies accordingly or inactive on the way to the goal.
• Human orientation is also important. That is, what does he want more: achieve the result or avoid defeat. It is at this moment that changes in self -esteem occur.
• Of course, success and positive results can increase both self -esteem and level of self -esteem. On the contrary, the process occurs if a person has a failure. Then he begins to doubt his capabilities, and the level of self -esteem falls.
  • We can also say that self -esteem is an important part of personality development. After all, it is one of the main factors of motivation for the achievements of their goals and desires. If there is no motivation, then there are no goals, successes and, of course, defeats.
• Since nothing happens, but flows the usual turn, the individual is simply content with what is. And then foreign factors or other surrounding personalities can affect self -esteem.

What is self -esteem: its components and levels

It is important to understand what self -esteem consists of, and at what level it is in a particular situation. If a psychologist works with a person, he will first try to find out if everything is fine with the client’s self -esteem. If the diagnosis reveals low self -esteem, first of all, you need to work with it. After all, often this is the main reason for all problems.

Important components of self -esteem

• The main aspect is Emotional factor. That is, as a person feels in society. And also plays a significant role in his idea of \u200b\u200bhimself and his capabilities. In addition, this is also an understanding by an individual of his desires and capabilities.
• The level of knowledge and competence In the right area. This is possessed by a person who understands what he does and why. And most importantly - how to do it. Therefore, he often has positive results from the work done. This formula is simple: I know, do, get a successful result. It is achievements and successes that help to feel good, and even exalted. So, have self -esteem.
• Personal relationships With friends, colleagues and beloved people. An individual who has adequate self -esteem respects himself and can establish normal, healthy relationships with people around him. It will not be clamped in communication with the opposite sex. And if important people accept it and appreciate it, then he enjoys self -esteem.
  • And vice versa occurs with a person who has low self -esteem. After all, it is difficult for him to communicate, and often, against the background of this, complexes and fears arise. Relations with the opposite sex can end, even without starting. Indeed, fear often prevents the move to active actions and build relationships.
• Own approval of oneself As a person, as well as a sense of approval of oneself as a person by other people. All this is due to self -esteem. A person is able to please himself if he approves his actions and the results achieved. And also feels the approval of relatives, colleagues, friends and other people around.
• Approval from the outside is often vaccinated at the Institute of Family. When parents tell the child, making a specific separation that this is good, but this is bad. But the strongly clamped frames lead to a lack of self -confidence and, as a result, a lack of self -esteem.

Important: Parents need to forget the phrase "I said/said." A child is not a robot that performs your commands. And with this phrase you are already killing a person in him, which deserves respect. It is very important to listen to the opinion and wishes of the baby since childhood. After all, this is the basis of his whole life!

Psychologists identify three main levels of self -esteem

• High degree - This is a level that allows you to live in your inner understanding of the correct state of things. The individual will not wait for the “blessing” from the side before making an important decision.
  • He knows what he wants, so he sets ambitious goals and stubbornly tries to achieve them. A high level of self -esteem is the factor that contributes to the active self -realization and obtaining the desired result.
  • People with such a level of self -esteem can also wait for failures and troubles. But the attitude to the situation will be rational. Work will be carried out on errors and the phase of active actions will be continued.
• Average level - This is such a layer of self -esteem that is characteristic of most people. A person knows what needs to be done to be happy and successful. At the same time, the social framework often affects his opinion. Which, in turn, affects the understanding of the reality of desires.
  • An individual can sacrifice his interests for the good of other people's needs. But he also tries to be in balance with his own rules and rules of society.
• Low level of self -esteem It carries inability to prioritize, look for opportunities for development and show their capabilities.
  • A person is afraid of the opinions of other and possible conviction from the outside. He does not seek opportunities and does not develop his talents. Often looking for excuses for why this is not worth doing, or why he will not be able to do this.
  • Setting goals takes place, but there is no action to go to the active phase. In society, the individual does not manifest himself from the best, is often aggressive or irritable.

How to learn to value yourself and how to increase self -esteem: 11 practical steps

If, after diagnosis or self -diagnosis, the result showed low or low self -esteem, then you need to urgently start working on yourself. For those who are strongly configured to change the situation, there are not only theoretical recommendations, but also practical exercises. We will consider practical steps to increase self -esteem and self -esteem right now.

1. The very first is thoughts in the head

• We have repeatedly heard about the power of suggestion. Yes, it really works. If you correctly direct your thoughts. If you think about failure, then it will certainly happen. And then you will say that you simply do not deserve another turn of events with you.
• Remember - the Universe hears our every sound. Moreover, she records all complaints, and even random wishes. Scroll in your head the day when everything falls out of hand. Often we say the phrase that there is still not enough such trouble, so it happens right there.
• Also learn to formulate your dreams and goals without a part of “no” or “not”, because the Universe misses them. Therefore, the thoughts “at least this would not have happened”, translated as the desire of this.
• If bad thoughts come to your head, then immediately drive them away and reboot your brain as a computer to a positive mood.

2. Analysis of their capabilities and achievements

• We create a list of good qualities and successes. To do this, a pen, a regular sheet of paper and a little time will come in handy. Write in any order all your good qualities in the column so that there is a free space opposite each entry.
• If the list of qualities is ready, the time goes to the second stage. Opposite each positive line, write what success it helped to achieve. Remember, this is your list and all that you consider to be achieved, enter it without fail.
• You won’t remember and analyze everything at once, so you can complement the list later, if you remember something or new successes appear. The list will grow, self -esteem will grow, as well as the desire to achieve large heights.

3. We are looking for open paths and hidden opportunities

• We return to our list again. It draws up a list of qualities and some successes, but we will not stop. It's time to look for new opportunities. For example, such a quality as determination has already brought you the desired work. But it can bring more.
• Think and write what you can achieve by owning such a set of qualities as yours. This is a vivid example of increasing or creating your own project.
• Touch all your qualities, and not only aspects of character. Perhaps you sew well. Then make plans in your head with the future prospect of this skill. So you will see your potential and you will be able to move on to direct setting goals.

4. Real goals and practical steps

• So we moved to an important part of a practical course of increasing self -esteem. Learning to set goals and terms of their achievement. First you need to build short -term plans, which can be achieved in a month or a maximum of a year.
• We assign to each purpose the time to which it should be realized. But be sure to paint gradual steps with detailed instructions of the actions. Having overcome each step on the way to the goal, do not forget to finish the list of achievements.
• And at the end of the allotted period, you can knock out the results of the work done. If you learn to act and achieve a result, everything will be in order with your self -esteem.

5. Learning to limit communication with overwhelming people

• There are people in the world who feel their importance, humiliating and offending others. Such acquaintances often say: you cannot, why is it necessary or impossible. And all this is because they themselves are afraid of responsibility and any changes.
• If there are such acquaintances in your circle, communication with them should be limited and minimized. And if possible, it is completely stopped. You cannot allow others to influence your thoughts and well -being negatively. Wish them all the best and let them live their lives in their circle of accepted norms.

6. Establish contact with people who help and inspire

• Believe me, people who know what they want from life and try to get it will always help advice and support. In addition, they do not need to humiliate others, on the contrary, they try to teach and share experience.
• It is nice and useful to communicate with such friends. You can be completely different goals and paths. But the successes of your friends will stimulate you your way. And this is also a kind of motivating moment.

7. Never compare your life with other people

• We are all different, so you can not do the same or live a similar life. Respect yourself is to accept yourself, your character and your whole life. Recall the mortal sins - envy was one of them. Yes, often comparison goes in parallel with envy.
• Bad thoughts about another person will certainly return to you. So our life is arranged. Everything is returned by a boomerang! The fact is that envy does not conceal good thoughts. As a rule, it even destroys a person from the inside, corroding all positive thoughts in the head and heart.

8. Inexhaustible power of faith

• If you set a goal, but doubts torment you, then this is a normal reaction. You just need to believe in yourself and move in small steps. Step by step and what was complicated will seem simple. There are stimulation methods such as visualization or a map of desires.
• The first method is that you should see your dream already fulfilled. How will you feel and what to say, scroll in your head with the smallest subtleties.
  • If the goal is material, for example, a house or a car, imagine it in all details. That is, how many rooms are in the house, what color curtains or wallpaper in the kitchen. And also steam in the clouds, as you spend your time in it. If you need a car, imagine everything: brand, salon, color and music, which will play on the road.
• You need to visualize often, then this will help to clearly understand what you want.
• The same principle has a map of desires. We need a simple Whatman, on which magazine clippings are attached, or drawings of a house, a car, the sea and all that you dream about. A poster is hanged in a prominent place as a constant reminder to think only about pleasant and not forget about your desire.

9. We focus on our own desires

• A person cannot please everyone and be good for everyone. Often making attempts to please others, we act to ourselves to the detriment. This cannot be done categorically! Those who really need your help will ask her and will adapt to your capabilities.
• If you see attempts to assert yourself or achieve goals at your expense, stop them immediately. Do not learn to please and serve, because you yourself are worthy of respect. And this should be understood by friends, colleagues and acquaintances.

10. Travel, listen to music and do whatever you love

• Life should be bright. Between working everyday life, find time for rest. You won’t earn all the money, but you can’t reach everything at once. Travel as possible - it helps to relax. Spend time with your family and friends outside the home, change the situation. Try to give something important every day, because this is your time and it needs to be appreciated.

11. Pull order in your house

• Chinese sages strongly recommend this nuance and are reverent to their home. In their opinion, this is our main emotional protection. And a cluttered and dirty house is not only weak, but also does not miss positive flows.
• By the way, old things or their large accumulation is only the drive of all bad aspects and negative energy. The same applies to dark rooms with constantly closed curtains. Sunlight brings joy into our lives, helps to cheer up and increase its self -esteem.
• But this item affects not only your housing, but all sides of your life. Learn to adhere to order in everything. After all, this will help to increase self -confidence and, as a result, your self -esteem.

How to learn to respect and how to develop self -esteem: tips

For many years, such different factors as parents, school, friends and colleagues influenced our self -esteem and self -esteem. This, of course, has consequences. Someone managed to maintain a good level of self-esteem, and someone received low self-esteem and this prevents him from being a happy person. Everything can be changed by working on yourself and your consciousness, at any age.

Adequate self -esteem is an important factor, without which it will not work out to become a successful person. There are several stages for which the passage of which will grow up for your personality to change and learn to respect yourself.

• Take yourself completely With all the advantages and disadvantages. The technique is the correct placement of priorities. We learn to put personal interests above public wishes and not be afraid, and at best, ignore criticism from the outside.
  • We also try not to please society to the detriment of our interests. An important point is the self -development of what we can well. But never forget that there is still where to grow and it will always be! You can’t stop there.
• Accepting your own weaknesses And the fears are not only to live simply and calmly, knowing and accepting them. It is also necessary to make attempts to overcome them and do what is scary. In other words, you need to go behind and try new things. Leaving the circle of comfort is necessary to achieve something. Including, and increase self -esteem.
• Learning to be independent. Nothing in itself will change, a lot will have to study and do everything only with your own hands. In order to be completely independent, you need to make efforts.
  • You need to determine your desires and set goals that are important to you. At the same time, it is worth listening to the opinions of others or asking for advice from those who, in your opinion, have reached great heights. Therefore, this stage is very complex, because you need to feel that thin line between your desires and the tips of others.
  • If the individual has always focused on the opinions of others, then the statement of his own point of view can be perceived in hostility and give in to criticism. And low self -esteem in the head will begin to draw doubts about his own words. In order not to give in, you need to learn to convince and prove your case, choosing the necessary arguments.

• Self -realization - This is a point without which there can be no high self -esteem. A person should feel his importance in society, and for this it is necessary to do business or work, which brings both benefits and pleasure.
  • It is important to understand what you can and what you want, and also not to retreat at the first failure. After all, experience comes with time. A hobby or sports can also be a good alternative and an excellent method of increasing self -esteem. Talents need to be developed, not hidden.
• Follow yourself - This is not just a healthy lifestyle, but also a good impetus to increase your self -esteem. Remember, if we like ourselves, then others will feel these fluids. Yes, we do not say that it all depends only on the outer shell. But strong and confident personalities will never allow the appearance of a sagging belly or wearing untidy clothes.
  • Respect yourself is good to look. There is even such a proverb that "a woman does not just apply makeup, she creates a mood." The well -groomed appearance of men also does not bypass. By the way, a person who respects others and himself will always use perfume.
  • It also concerns bad habits and the same nutrition. We are from what we use. And confidence will not be able to arise where there is a weak place. Yes, how not to turn, but bad habits and high -calorie foods are our weakness, which is also considered one of the deadly sins.
• Criticism pass by your ears. Moreover, without even catching her in his head. Socium often imposes certain rules and point of view to a person. This affects a particular individual, so he loses his essence, begins to think differently and ceases to develop.
  • Ignoring and not the perception of third -party criticism will make it possible to protect the nerves, get rid of unnecessary complexes and fears. You need to learn how to accept and analyze not only your own, but also other people's failures. Self -esteem will not allow you to exchange for errors, it motivates the development of the personality as a whole.

• But let go of the past with ease. Especially if it has bad memories. It is often the load from childhood or youth that bites you from the inside and reduces self -esteem. Remember, perhaps in childhood you were properly punished. And this remained deep inside.
  • Yes, it is not easy to forgive. But tell your parents that it hurt you. This will become easier, even after so many years. And let go of all the insults. After all, we are all living people and can make mistakes. Negative thoughts will attract cloudy days to you. And the lack of baggage from the days will allow you to let a bright future into your life.

If you manage to go through and realize these points, qualitative changes in life will definitely follow. A person will feel in a good mood and will begin to look positively into the future. Work on yourself is difficult, but the result is worth it. After all, self -esteem helps a person cope with any difficulties. If you feel its flaw, the time has come to work on yourself.

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