The reasons for the breakdown and emotional stages after separation. How to survive parting with a loved one: a psychologist's advice

There are situations when relations between two people are breaking. You can learn about how to behave after that from the article.

Content

People meet, fall in love and begin to live together. Everyone thinks that this is forever, that their love will last forever. But something happens and couples decide to disperse. It is already impossible to maintain relationships, because they understand that they have become strangers for each other.

Well, if this is a mutual solution and everything goes peacefully. But more often it happens differently, and one of the couple throws the other. Unbearable pain, pity, longing, the desire to close in yourself, the collapse of all plans - all this haunts you day after day and only becomes stronger. What to do and how to get out of this state, how to start a new happy life?

Reasons for the rupture of relations and emotional stages after separation

The reasons for the gap can be different.

The main and more frequent are the following:

Financial difficulties: One of the partners does not work, earns less than the other, and expenses are inappropriate.
Destruction of illusions: Your beloved was not the person who was at the very beginning as it seemed to you.
Everyday life: The life is annoyed, the little things are annoyed in a partner that I have not noticed before, and the unpreparedness to take all this further.
Plans for the future do not converge, different views on things and each goes their own way.

At one of the moments, one of the partners does not withstand and decides to leave. In psychology, parting is considered one of the type of loss.

When this happens, a person passes certain stages:

Negation. A person does not believe that his half is no longer with him. He still makes plans, joint holidays and expects that leaving is a temporary measure.
Anger. The realization that the partner will not return. Anger begins, a thirst for avenge, his accusation of all sins and unwillingness to maintain relations.
Renewal. The desire to resume the previous relationship, start all over again. Despair and pain of loss are rolled with greater strength.
Depression. Understanding that his beloved has gone forever and attempts to return him in vain. The indifference, sadness and hopelessness begin to overcome.

It is necessary to go through each stage and rethink in this difficult period of life. Then new forces will appear to move on.

It is important to go through all the stages for the appearance of forces

Listen to the next advice of psychologists to get out of depression and start everything from scratch. Only having calmed down and accepting all the circumstances, you can find a real man who will never give, will not leave. For him, you will be all his life, air, without which he cannot breathe.

A man and a woman react differently to a break. For research data, guys are more common to get drunk right away, and girls run for help from friends. The initiative to return the loved one comes more from girls, they also often close in themselves. Most men surveyed continue to live as usual and do not change anything.

How to live on after separation from a loved one: a psychologist's advice

Step 1. Allow yourself to experience feelings, cry and reprimand your best friend. In order for the pain to subside, it is necessary to be immersed, to cry. Take everything as it is and feel it. But remember, take only a small part of the time to this. Then change the mood to a more fun notes. So go from longing and despondency to thought and active actions.
Step 2. Put all points in past relationships. As soon as you get rid of ineffective relationships, the one who gives you real happiness to meet. On the advice of the American psychologist Rachel Sassman, it is necessary to get rid of all the things of the second half. Burn them, sell or give them to people. Get rid of all the threads that remind you of the former and pump longing. Throw away all the joint photos so that they do not hurt you. It will be difficult to do, but believe me, you will immediately feel ease in the shower. Return everything that the young man gave you.

Step 3. Limit communication with a former lover. For a while, stop all kinds of contacts, even if you have the need to cross your work. The optimal time is one month. During this time, immunity on feelings will be developed and it will be a little easier for you to communicate with the ex-boyfriend.
Step 4. Do not be left alone, ask for support. It is not necessary to go to a professional psychologist, try to talk with friends, arrange a party, go to funny films. The story of a real girl from America Katherine, who canceled her wedding. She created a blog on the Internet SimplySolo, how to survive parting with her beloved. She managed not only to release all the feelings, but also to acquire new acquaintances. This blog has become very popular, and Katherine received incredible support.
Step 5. Always be in shape. Take yourself yourself! Go to the salon, for manicure, make yourself a gorgeous hairstyle and change the wardrobe. A trip to the gym will be only a plus, even if you have an ideal figure. The body will become fit, anger to go into sports, and each time you will feel easier, a surge of new emotions and evidence that you are the best. Remember that you are beautiful, and every day repeat it in front of the mirror. Then the enthusiastic views of men will not be long in coming.
Step 6. Look for joy in the little things. Take care of a business that you always dreamed about, but there was not enough time. Start drawing, make Handmade toys, any little good deed that will bring joy to you and others. Meditation has a good effect on the body, soothes and enlightens the mind. Long yoga classes will help change your life, find a goal and become even better. Psychologists say that flowers have a positive effect on well -being. Go to the floral store and purchase a bouquet.
Bright and diverse colors will help to cheer up and act relaxing. Help people who are harder than you will give a reason to be distracted and the problem of breaking relationships will seem to be a trifle. The famous psychologist Normann Kazinz conducted studies on the benefits of ridiculous therapy. Laughter is one of the most important elements in the fight against diseases. This conclusion was made by scientists. The allocation of endorphins contributes to improved health. Fun, dance, do everything that brings you joy and gradually your laughter will become more sincere.

Step 7. Review your plans and goals. When there are two of you, in order to maintain a relationship, you begin to sacrifice and yield something. If you always wanted to visit another country, do some kind of business, get an animal and so on, and your second half was simply against it. Now is the time to change everything and do what you want. Start developing, go beyond the usual framework and then you will see that there are positive aspects in parting.

Thank you and let go of your soul mate, make a place for something new that is already approaching you. If the parting happened due to jealousy or anger, then there is no need to follow the advice of psychologists. Your second half will find ways to make peace. But if the gap has long been in the plans of a man, then forget about him.

Move on, you do not suffer from him, but by the feelings that you experienced while in pairs. Think, or maybe these good moments are not so good, or they are simply not enough to torment yourself so much and quickly lose faith in yourself. Be self -sufficient, learn to believe in yourself and love.

Many people, parting leads to a certain activation. A person rapidly begins to develop, implement his dreams, build a stunning career and creates the strongest and most happy family. Realizing that past relations are just an instructive stage, and in the future exclude the same mistakes. So, you can achieve what you need.

Analyze all your past relationships with your loved one, and think: “Was your real love?”, “Would you like to live this way of your life?” Or the relationship weighed you, and at the time of the gap you were simply afraid to remain alone and only because of this suffering and pity arose. Think well and put the comma right in a well -known phrase: "You can’t leave to leave."

Let go and soon you will meet your happiness

Each person appears in our life not by chance. One is given for experience, and the other for happiness. God knows when you give it happiness. If this is your person, then he will never go anywhere. Remember the words of Sri Chinmoy: “Let each mistake teach you the great lesson: each sunset is the beginning of a very, very bright and great dawn ...”.