Teenagers: difficult age. How to help your child in the transition period?

The largest difficulty in adolescence is the simultaneous very powerful restructuring of the body and the psyche of the child. The quality of adult life is largely determined by how successfully a person has passed through a teenage crisis.

What is the transition period of adolescents and when does it begin?

Adolescence is called a period of 10-11 to 15-16 years. It is called transitional, since at this time the child goes from the children's model of behavior to adult. There is a change in self -esteem, perception of oneself in society. There is the ability to perceive the environment critically, analyze and draw their own conclusions, consciously assign certain moral values \u200b\u200boffered by society.

In addition, during this period, a teenager is experiencing serious physiological changes.

The age characteristics of adolescents

• Physiological processes hidden from the eye cause a feeling of anxiety, discomfort, constant tension and emotional fatigue
• Psychological changes, in turn, lead to emotional imbalance, internal and external conflicts, the solution of which requires the energy of internal power
• A significant increase in the educational load in high school, increased pressure on the part of the parents is added to the described problems of the teenager.
• All this creates a sense of confusion in a teenager: the old landmarks have been lost, the new ones have not yet been gained
• The natural processes of growing up cause a sense of catastrophe and loss of oneself in the surrounding world
• The social skills of a teenager have not yet been formed, personal life experience is too small to independently find solutions in difficult situations.
• Constant internal disharmony leads to increased conflict and aggression, which only enhances the negative perception of the situation
• As a result, the teenager closes, goes into himself, is overgrown with unnecessary complexes, instead of solving problems, he seeks easy ways to escape from them
• In the worst case, teenage problems can break a person as a person

The first signs of transitional age

Outwardly, the beginning of the transitional age is manifested in the following:

• The child begins to grow rapidly, an increase to height more than 10-15 cm per year
• Secondary sexual characteristics are developing
• Adolescent acne and rashes on the skin appear
• The child becomes too vulnerable, offends things that he had not noticed before
• Shy of the manifestations of parental affection in public
• Argues and rude more often than usual

Physiological problems of adolescence.

• There is a serious restructuring of the endocrine system. The body of the teenager in the transition period develops unevenly and disproportionately. By the end of puberty, the imbalance in most cases disappear
• The central nervous system undergoes significant changes, the result of which is the excessive emotional excitability of adolescents. The processes occurring in the cerebral cortex provoke an increased reaction of the nerve endings and at the same time reduce the inhibition reaction

• In the transitional age, the final formation of adipose tissues and fiber, bones and muscle tissue occurs. The body takes finished forms. During this period, proper healthy diet and metabolism is especially important
• In the area of \u200b\u200bthe gastrointestinal tract in adolescence, problems often arise, since the digestive system is very sensitive to physical activity and emotional differences
• Physiological changes in the cardiovascular system and respiratory organs lead to disorders in the heart, light, frequent weakness, dizziness and fainting. It is very important to choose the right mode of sleep and rest for the child, as well as attentive to determining the permissible loads on the body

The main features of the transitional age in girls

• The body is gradually acquired by the forms characteristic of the female figure: round hips, convex buttocks, the lower body becomes wider than the upper
• The breast growth occurs, often the process is accompanied by painful sensations and a sense of discomfort. The chest can grow unevenly, the mammary glands can differ in size from one another, but by the end of puberty, the difference practically disappears
• In the adolescence in girls, hair begins to grow in the pubic area and armpits, at the same time, the sebaceous glands begin to work more intense, the smell of the body becomes sharper. At this age, it is necessary to revise hygiene issues and develop an individual body care regimen
• The formation of the genitals is completed. Often during this period, microflora disturbances and related complications (irritations, fungal infections) are possible. It is necessary to accustom the girl to be careful about health in the field of gynecology and properly care for this part of the body

The main features of the transitional age in boys

• In adolescence, boys begins intense growth of bones, and then muscle takny, and bones usually grow faster than muscles. Hence the frequent excessive thinness in teenagers-boys. Sometimes such a lag of muscle tissue can cause pain and temporary malaise
• The teenage breaking of the voice is the growth of the larynx, during which the boy has an apple “Adamovo”, and the voice decreases by several tones to Temra's adult men. During this period, boys are subject to frequent complications and diseases of the throat, since with the growth of the larynx there is a fairly strong flow of blood in this area
• A very subtle and delicate issue of puberty of boys is a pollution (involuntary, usually night, ejaculation associated with excessive sexual excitement)
• Changes on the face caused by hormonal restructuring: facial features become more sharp and male, children's roundness leaves. Vegetation appears on the face and neck. Youth acne in boys are usually expressed more than in girls
• Hair growth on the chest, in armpits, in the groin, a change in the smell of sweat. It is important to accustom the boy to daily hygiene and the use of cosmetics for body care (deodorants, lotions, cream)

The restructuring of hormones. What to do with problem skin?

Ugre rash on the face in adolescence is practically inevitable due to global hormonal restructuring of the body. Since adolescents are very sensitive to their appearance and assessing their appearance in the eyes of others, acne on the face is not only a physiological, but also a psychological problem.

During puberty, the sebaceous glands of the child begin to work in enhanced mode. The fat they distinguished by them creates ideal conditions for the development of pathogenic flora on the skin, which leads to blockage of pores and the development of pustular lesions.

With proper daily care, you can significantly reduce the level of bacteria in the pores and prevent excessive amount of acne on the face.

What needs to be taken into account in the treatment of acne in adolescents:

• Teenage skin is very sensitive and susceptible to irritation, so you should choose a delicate effect developed specifically for adolescents
• “Adults” can lead to serious irritation and allergic rashes, which will only aggravate the physical and psychological discomfort of the child
• Funds based on natural components are better suited, when washing, you can wipe your face with decoctions of medicinal herbs with an antiseptic effect
• Do not use alcohol -containing drugs, as alcohol overdles the skin, which in turn causes even more active sebaceous glands and fatty release
• Ugre rash can increase due to improper digestion, so it is important to adhere to a healthy and balanced diet
• It is important to remember that not only the skin, but also a towel, bed and underwear should be clean. Enjoy your child not to touch your face without much need, to wash your hands more often and use clean handkerchiefs
• Teenage skin is subject to contaminants more than an adult, so it is necessary to wash your face several times a day, at least in the morning and evening

Social problems of adolescence. Adaptation in society

The main motivation of the child in society in adolescence is gaining respect in the eyes of others, especially peers. The opinion of classmates begins to prevail over the opinion of parents and teachers. Teenagers are very sensitive to the slightest change in their position in the circle of peers.

Hence the sudden acts that are uncharacteristic for the child, designed to demonstrate his exclusivity and extraordinary to peers: hooligan antics, rash risk, extravagant details of appearance.
It is noted that the weight of the child in the eye of the teenager directly depends on his emotional well -being and microclimate in the family.

Psychological problems of adolescence

The main tasks of personal growth that the child solves for himself in adolescence:

• Ability to analyze, compare, draw your own conclusions
  • independent decision -based decisions based on the conclusions made
  • Awareness of personal responsibility for their decisions and actions
  • awareness of oneself as an individual and subject of society
  • its status and position in society

An important aspect for a teenager is self -respect as a person. Having learned to perceive the world critically, children begin to see too many flaws in themselves, especially in comparison with other peers. Also painfully they perceive any hint of disrespect from the outside.

The often depressed state of the teenager or increased aggressiveness is caused precisely by the imbalance between the child’s internal need for respect and his insufficient manifestation from parents and peers.

Problems of interpersonal relations in adolescence

• In terms of interpersonal relations in adolescence, there is a decrease in the significance of adults and high dependence on the opinions of peers. That is, a teenager from the position of a subordinate passes into a position equal in meaning
• If a serious distance and subordination is present in a relationship of an adult, then in a relationship of a child child, a teenager can fully realize his main needs for this age: to feel adults and find respect in the eyes of others
• The main problems of interpersonal communication of the teenager are adult unwillingness to agree with a decrease in their own significance in the eyes of the child, and the inability of the teenager to form harmonious relations based on equal rights, since the skill of communication in childhood was based on adult submission and their requirements
• Frequent conflicts of adolescents with each other are caused by attempts to build new relationships based on old skills. In early adolescence, the child is not legible in friends, he is interested in communication as such and developing the necessary experience
• By older adolescence, children, as a rule, are already determined with the choice of permanent friends by interests, clearly determine their role in their company and have sufficient skills to maintain even relations for a long time

Problems of learning in adolescence. How to help the child cope with study?

Most adolescents, in addition to all of the above difficulties, have another one - loss of interest in learning. Each child can have its own, unites them one thing: adolescence is full of emotional and physiological experiences, which inevitably affects all aspects of the child’s life.

Possible reasons for the deterioration of performance

• In early adolescence, the child goes to secondary school, where the organization of educational activity is significantly different from the initial one. Instead of one teacher, many appears, each with their own requirements and attitudes. Methods of presenting material become more academic, the emphasis is shifted towards theory and complex conceptual constructions. The child needs the help of parents in timely and correctly adapt in the new conditions
• In high school, the increased demands of parents for the quality of assessments and the level of knowledge are added to the complexity of the material, since there is a question of entering professional educational institutions. The pressure from teachers interested in the quality of the exam increases. The teenager himself is experiencing natural fears about upcoming exams and entering the university
• All this leads to a serious psychological stress that can affect the quality of performance. Help your child evenly distribute the load during the working week, correctly alternate the rest and work mode. Try not to overshadow the situation, cheer up the child, help him find a sense of self -confidence and his power.

• Conflicts with teachers and lack of motivation. Teenagers are very sensitive to criticism in their address, especially its public manifestations. The most natural reaction of the teenager is aggression, which only exacerbates the conflict. Underwhelming in individual subjects may be associated with the negative relations of the teacher and the child. Try to find out the causes of the conflict and help the child build contact
• Personal problems. For a teenager, relations with peers are much more important than performance. At the moment, this is his most painful point. If the teenager is not adapted in the team, experiences difficulties in communication, this can be the cause of general apathy, including in relation to study. It is very important not to dismiss the problems of a teenager, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you
• Recognize its significance, try to call the child a frank conversation and provide him with real help, otherwise the next time he is unlikely to share the problem. Remember that independence is important for a teenager, so do not try to solve his problems by force, do not read notations to his classmates. Help the teenager find a worthy way out of the situation or change the team

The problem of conflict in adolescence

In adolescence, the features of the development of the psyche and the body are formed so that the child is experiencing at the same time several serious internal conflicts.

• The desire to be an adult is denying the values \u200b\u200bof the surrounding adults
• Sensation of oneself by the center of the Universe is self -criticism and rejection of oneself as a person
• The desire to be “like everyone else” is a deep need to declare their individuality and exclusivity
• Puberty - fear and rejection of changes occurring in the body
• Attraction to the opposite sex - the inability to build relationships

It is difficult for a teenager to cope with such an influx of emotions, experiences and physical sensations, during this period. Internal conflicts inevitably are reflected in external life.

Relations with parents and relatives of a teenager. How to behave to the older generation and what to wait?

• In adolescence, the child comes out of the care of parents. If in childhood he perceived parental assessments and requirements as correct by definition, in adolescence the child begins to evaluate what is happening around in terms of his personal perception. He realizes that he has his own preferences, sympathies and aspirations that do not always coincide with the opinion of adults
• In relation to parents, a teenager during this period seeks to distance themselves from their care and patronage, to demonstrate their adulthood and independence. However, this does not mean that a teenager is ready to refuse to communicate with parents in general. Just his communication during this period goes to a qualitatively new level
• It often seems to parents that the child is showing unreasonable aggression and stubbornness, and the only thing that moves them is to do everything spite. But misunderstanding is rather caused by the inability of the child, due to age, express their genuine emotions, and the reluctance of parents to understand him. As a result, a child has a feeling of loneliness, isolation
• It is important to understand that from conflicts the child emotionally suffers no less than parents. But, without sufficient experience of adult relations, the teenager is not able to understand the cause of mutual discontent, does not know what to do to resolve the conflict

It is also necessary to understand that the hormonal revolution of the teenage body causes uncontrollable bursts of emotions that the child is physically not able to control.

The personality of a teenager during the period of transitional age. New hobbies and views on the world

Psychologists divide the teenage period into two phases: negative and positive.

• Negative phase - This is the death of the old system of values \u200b\u200band interests, the active rejection of the changes that occur within the changes. The child feels that changes are taking place, but psychologically not ready for them, hence his irritability, apathy, constant anxiety and discontent
• AT positive phase The teenager is ready to accept and realize the changes. He has new friends, interests, he is capable of communications at a new qualitative level, a feeling of maturity arises, emotions become more stable

It is during the period of the positive phase that the teenager has stable hobbies, creative talents are clearly manifested. If at 10-12 years old adolescents choose friends on a territorial principle (they study together, live nearby), then in older adolescence, the circle of acquaintances is formed on the basis of common interests and hobbies.

The cognitive development of a teenager

Cognitive development is the development of cognitive skills.

• In adolescence, the child is able to absorb abstract concepts, analyze hypotheses, build his own assumptions, reasonably criticize someone else's point of view. A teenager discovers a logical way of studying objects, in addition to mechanical memory, which is used by children of preschool and primary school age
• With mechanical memorization, the reproduction of the material occurs in the sequence in which it was memorized: the literal retelling of the text, the strictly consistent implementation of physical actions
• Logical memory focuses not on the form, but on the essence of the subject being studied. The studied subject is analyzed, the most important points are isolated, their logical relationship is established, after which the material studied is laid in memory
• In early adolescence, it is difficult for a child to understand in which cases to use certain skills. Some of the school subjects are well lend itself to the logical method of memorizing, some subjects can be studied only with the help of mechanical memory (foreign languages, complex formulas and definitions). At the age of 10-12 years, children often complain of memory deterioration and the inability to understand this or that material

By the older adolescence, the child usually fluores acquired skills and their use does not cause him difficulties.

Generation conflict: allow or not allow?

Conflicts arising from parents with a teenager can have a variety of reasons, but if you do not try to manage the conflict, any insignificant trifle can lead to very serious consequences for both sides. What to do if a conflict has arisen?

1. The first step is to listen to the arguments and arguments of both sides. Teenagers do not perceive categorical prohibitions, it is important for them to understand what is behind your "no." Give the child the opportunity to express his point of view. Firstly, he will learn to formulate explanations to his actions (he does not always understand them himself), and secondly, you will let him know that you consider him an adult and respect his opinion. This will significantly remove the intensity of passions
2. After you carefully and respectfully listened to the position of the child and expressed your arguments, try to find a general compromise. Mind the borders in which you are ready to give in to the teenager, invite him to abandon part of the requirements. So you will teach a child to find a middle ground in conflicts with other people
3. If you have found a solution that arranging both sides, do not try to revise it under the influence of external circumstances. Be logical and consistent in your desire to speak with the child from the perspective of mutual respect

How to build a relationship with a child so as not to harm him?

The parent family is the first and most important in the child’s life a model of relationships between people.

Possible distortions and disharmony in family relationships are most acutely manifested precisely in the adolescence of the child. Several examples of the inharmonious behavior of parents and their consequences for a teenager.

  How to help the child accept himself as a person?

• The excessive criticality with which the teenager analyzes Mi and others fully applies to him himself
• All adolescents to one degree or another are dissatisfied with themselves, their appearance, their achievements and successes among peers. Girls are subject to low self -esteem stronger than boys
• Help the teenager see his strengths, understand what he is attractive and unique. Mark his real successes, try to raise his self -esteem in his own eyes
• Teenagers experience a very great need to communicate with peers. To become your own, to be a full member of the social group, the company of friends is the main dream of any teenager
• Help your child build a relationship in the team. Find the time to talk "heart to heart"; Tell the child about your adolescence, your experience of first love, friendship, first quarrels and errors. Analyzing your stories to a teenager will be easier to make a decision regarding his own problems
• In search of his own “I”, a teenager can begin to behave shockingly, dress in strange clothes, listen to unusual music, and so on. If the behavior of the child does not threaten himself and others, let him "get over

• Do not make fun of his new hobbies, do not forbid to express yourself. Make it clear that he is still valuable and loves regardless of his appearance
• Let the teenager make mistakes. This does not mean the lack of parental control. On the contrary, allow the child to do in his own way, but warn about the possible, in your opinion, consequences
• Lessons from their own experience are absorbed much better than parental instructions. Of course, such experiments are appropriate in those issues where the child’s mistake will not lead to critical consequences

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