Why don't men value care and kindness? What to do if a man does not value care?

In this article, we will talk why men do not value increased kindness and care and what to do with it.

Content

Many women seek to become the best and most caring for a man. So, they support their beloved in everything, try to be near in difficult situations and find a common language with his friends. And here he, it would seem, is the secret of successful marriage! But for some reason, the man does not value this and the relationship deteriorates day by day. Why is this happening?

A man does not value kindness and care: reasons

Remember fairy tales from childhood about Cinderella, Mermaid, Gerda and so on? Just remember at least one of these fairy tales. If you thought about Herda right away, then it’s definitely difficult for you to achieve happiness. After all, she went a long road through the snow, tears and she had to endure a lot of deprivation. This is the most striking example of a female rescue. If you transfer it to real life, then such wives have a husband - a drunken alcoholic, detached and cold or workaholic. In other words, a woman will marry a man who is not available or not like her.

And it turns out that all complex relationships can be discerned signs of addiction. All because if it is not, then a person always sees some boundaries and is able to distinguish bad from the good. Although a dependent person sees the boundaries, only they are so blurry and can even change places. For example, the rudeness and rudeness of a man will seem to be his strength, but care is weak.

And such relationships are built on the triangle of Carpman. In it, each corner has its own role - the rescuer, the pursuer and the victim. And everyone occupies their peak. In our article, we will talk about women, so -called Gerdes. And they follow their man with a cold heart. Despite the fact that the fairy tale ended well, everything is not so rosy in life.

And it seems that the girl is the most kind, affectionate and noble, but the man does not value her. How can you not love her? What a fool is he?! That's just here not everything is so simple. After all, such kind girls, albeit not consciously, but stubbornly seek weaknesses in their man.

Let's look at the example. The girl met a man in her opinion ideal, but only with a couple of shortcomings - he liked to walk and have fun. She thought that over time everything would form, he would become older and take his head. Therefore, I decided so far to become part of his company and make friends with everyone.

She suffered when he stayed with other girls, and in the morning she brought soup from a hangover. After all, she sincerely believed that they mean nothing and these are all hormones and the influence of friends. The moment will come and he will grow up and then he will appreciate all her efforts as expected.

She seemed to herself a smart and good woman who is so actively fighting for her own happiness. Yes, and for him too, because she is the best and no one can better love him. And she did not even think that if she suddenly stops walking, then he would forget her. And even if I had not forgotten, I did not want to check. It was important to simply show your usefulness and his bad habit was only into hand. Only no one asked the man himself what he wants himself.

As a result, the girl and the guy got married. She still achieved her after 10 years. She even gave birth to a son for him and her mother convinced that it was time to take up the mind. How is their life? Believe me, far from the ideal. The man drinks constantly, the child is not interested in him, and indeed he goes to the left. He also did not work out his career. And the girl likes this. After all, if her beloved had a choice, he would have left.

Close girlfriends believe that she is an innocent sufferer. The husband is simply mired in a feeling of guilt, shame and hopelessness. And all this is the best provocateur of alcoholism. But the family live together.

So why is everything that way? Why didn't the man fall in love and appreciated all the efforts? This is all because it is necessary to evaluate the situation in time and release the man if nothing happens.

As a rule, in such cases, women have a question - what did it need to be done then so that he would love it? This is the real women of the savior, who simply leave no choice for a man. After all, they invested so much effort, so many efforts and is it all for nothing? Now he is simply obliged to love and marry. It is necessary to find his weaknesses or create them and begin to help. And thus, a man turns from a strong man into a mattress, unable to make decisions and do something on his own. It turns out that a man does not value the kindness of such a plan because he has to be a victim, and this is morally suppressing.

A man does not value kindness and care - what to do?

If the above history suits you, then go ahead! Friend with mom, be persistent and tolerate all his antics. Ideally, just turn a blind eye to everything that does not suit you. Perhaps you will come across a suitable candidate who will appreciate all your actions. After all, every man dreams of a woman who will take care, only for some reason, feelings for her do not arise. Let's figure out what can be done about this?

To begin with, remember how all your relationships began. Have you noticed the symptoms of the savior?
What is your favorite fairy -tale heroine? And why? What exactly do you like in it?
What do you mean by this role? Perhaps your family has examples to follow?
Decide on the points when your roles are changing. When can you become a victim from the savior?
What do you feel inside? What is your man good or bad?
Which men attract you the most? If it’s hard for you to decide on their role, then at least think with what character. Or think about what men's heroes you love in films. How do they have character?
How do your relationship end and on whose initiative?

When you clearly decide on the script, you will be much better to choose partners and build your actions. Just a conscious choice is your dear to a fairy tale.