Why do you want to return the ex -boyfriend?

How to return the former? How to survive parting? And most importantly, what to choose - to return it or forget it?

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How to return an ex -boyfriend and why do you want to return the former at all? These thoughts carried every girl into sweet dreams. With the exception of those who have no relations, nuns and old virgins. The ex -husband is a relative, and former guys are a special caste. We will tell you about how to return the former guy, and how to deal with the lump of our most contradictory feelings.

Why do you want to return the former?

We experience a huge gamut of feelings for our real and former beloved. Resentment, attachment, faith in the future happiness, shame are changing in the mind (if he abandoned you), the fear that he will take revenge on you (this is the initiator of the gap you are). The future correct tactics depends on which feeling will be the most important.

Shame, incinerating and tangible to every cell of the body. He is felt by those from whom the beloved has recently left. But how he could, but he is not good for me! And often the girl thinks for whom he exchanged, but she is a chicken. God, could he really choose someone better for himself. What a shame! Blood rushes to the face, and consciousness covers with a veil. If you want to return the former to get rid of a sense of shame, do not rush to do it.
You highly value the personal qualities of your chosen oneAnd you want to return the former because of this. He knows how to seek justice, he knows how to listen and dissolve your sorrows, he is hardworking or truly kind. You didn’t just choose this man? Perhaps he really holds the bar very high, and it is difficult for other men to reach him. In this case, the fact that I want to return the former is a kind and bright feeling. But understand that he is not the only good person in this world.
You think about him all the time, and do not know why.You continue to make plans for how your life together will turn out, although you have already broken up. You can imagine how good it would be to go on vacation with him, how great it would be to have two children: a boy and a girl. You are sweet in these fantasies. But for long dreams there is fear of real life, after you burned. In reality, you can catch your husband with a mistress, be disappointed in him or collide with the lack of money. And in fantasies - never.

Thoughts about your beloved sometimes tear off from real life

You are attached to him. I want to return the former because we are two halves of one puzzle. We are, as if, a resident of Atlantis, who again found each other in this world. We are two parts of one soul. Attachment is one of the most powerful feelings, it makes people people. It is interesting that this feeling of attachment is laid in us from birth by genes. By the way, as a sense of justice and a sense of purity. And therefore, you need to make a lot of effort to distinguish normal attachment from unhealthy. It is one thing if you think how to return the former, because he shares your craving for travel. And quite another - if he loves to humiliate you, and you are used to you to humiliate you in your family.
Guilt. I was too rude when we quarreled. I might not have been indignant because of his dirty socks. I could not blame him for greed that if I was mistaken, and this is not greed, but frugality. I am to blame, and therefore I want to return the former guy. Do not succumb to guilt, and calmly weigh the pros and cons. Understand that if he does not particularly follow his socks, then in old age everything will be even worse. And if he seemed greedy, then probably this man does not know how to make money well. If you are ready to put up with this, for example, because of its balanced nature, then this is your conscious choice.

Adults sometimes feel very childishly guilty

How to return a former guy if he does not want to?

Thoughts come to mind right away about the love spell or about how to damage his new passion. This is also an interesting idea because your hobby for magic may seem tempting.

But in general, the only way to return the former guy if he does not want to do this to start doing his life. Stop pouring tears, and put your energy from shame and resentment into work. Work on making money, work to obtain recognition, work on their appearance, work on establishing relationships with people. The only taboo is to start a new man. This approach is called a smart word - sublimation.

What will happen then? With a probability of 99 percent, he will learn about how you are doing. If your affairs are going well, then there are great chances that he wants to return you. After all, he also chose you for something at the beginning of the relationship. But do you want this? You will already be a little other people, and it is impossible to go into the same river twice.

He will definitely ask about you in the company of common acquaintances

Some girls, thinking how to return an ex -guy, decide to get another man. So he will see that someone else needs me and regret. But a worthy man will not like it. To leave one man and go immediately to another is a sign of weakness. If the girl does this, then she does not believe in herself, and that she can survive resentment and be happy. And who will believe in her if she does not believe in herself? To get, something good sometimes needs to wait.

You think how to return an ex -boyfriend, and it seems to you that you are not capable of anything. Try to remember why you love yourself. Perhaps you have wonderful father, mother or grandmother, imagine what they would tell you, about your offense at the former guy and the desire to take revenge on him. Of course, they will say: "Do not take the evil in the head."

I am ashamed that he left me

Shame is a weapon. And sometimes this is a terrible weapon that those who thought about how to return the former guy begin to take revenge. Imagine how you can take revenge on him, telling that he is bad in bed. You can come up with a rumor that his mother is an alcoholic and a slutty woman. You can invent that he is a sadist who strangles cats and offends children. Of course, he will be unpleasant. There are times when, because of a sense of shame, people commit suicide.

But only now it’s not ashamed not to him, but to you. You think how to return the former to break out of this hell. Surely there will be people who will be pleased with your misfortune. It can be his ex-girlfriend, grandmothers on a bench who condemn the youth or the guy whom you once abandoned. But note, all these people have their own not too good motives to shame you.

A historical example of a person who suffered from evil languages \u200b\u200b- Cesare Borgia. He was the son of the pope and a brilliant commander. It was precisely about him that Niccolo Machiavelli wrote his famous book “Sovereign”. In the life of Cesare, Borgia suffered due to undeserved evil rumor. He was accused of intimate connection with his sister. Gossip made him guilty of the death of his brother and in the murder of her sister's husband. When Cesare died in battle, he was buried in the church. But then his remains were removed from the temple, because people said that he was guilty of so so heavy sins. There were no evidence, however, there were. The ashes of the commander was again buried in the church only in 2007.

Shame is a double -edged sword. Do you think how to return the guy who left you? Be successful and happier than he. And then it will be a shame for your parting. If you shame a person not only with his choice, but also specifically, then the risk of passing the scoundrel and liar is great. And this is also very ashamed.

How to return the former if there is another?

Many will say that to return the former if there is another is a bad idea. Then it is difficult to experience treason, and after doing this once, the man will change all the time. But let's try to figure out what she gives him something that you did not give? He was with you, everything was perfect, perhaps perfect to nausea. She appeared, and she was ready to accept him sinful and imperfect, because it turns out that he also cheated on her with you. And a person who is able to forgive and with whom you can be himself is a value.

Do you want to return the former if there is another? Then wait for them to end with the time of first love. And then, when he begins to notice the shortcomings in her, make him an unobtrusive invitation to be together again. Do not waste time until he is passionate about another girl, do creativity, work and rejoice at life.

I want to return the former - is it bad?

The abandoned girl seems to be a victim, she was betrayed, hard for her. It’s normal to lament for some time about parting. But this has its own limit. Imagine a woman who says, I want to return the former at all costs. She writes to him, she calls at night, threatens a new girl and manipulates her children. The man tells her that she does not love her, but she doesn’t care. She believes that her love is enough, and ignores his feelings. It's cruel.

There are men who, after parting, begin to beat the windows to their former girls. Such a man can ruin the counter in the entrance so that she does not enjoy life with another guy. He can threaten the girl and blackmail her. What would you call such a boyfriend? Psychologists call such personalities psychopaths.

Psychopaths are people who cannot survive feelings of shame. It seems to stick to them, probably due to the fact that in life they were a lot of them. Such a person feels shame when he was abandoned. He thinks, well, this is what you should expect, because I am so worthless. And he begins to remember all the cases when he was ashamed, starting from early childhood.

The same feelings, only softerly, are experienced by all people. The abandoned girl passes through 4 stages:

At first she does not believe in what happened.
Then she feels anger and hatred of her beloved.
If you think how to return the guy, then perhaps you are already at the third prefinal stage.
The girl forgives her offender and begins to build a new life.

Why is it worth forgiving the former who want to return? Because this is the person you have chosen and love, and you respect his choice. You know that a worthy girl himself, who can take care of herself. Come to this opinion and enjoy your own generosity.

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