Can't I cope with my child? Aggressive child what to do? Aggression in preschool children and adolescents

What can be the causes of children's aggression? What to do if the child behaves aggressively?

"He was fighting!" - the teacher in kindergarten exclaims in a dramatic voice. Under the barely restrained maternal annoyance, a small person returns home. There, at the family council, his fate will be decided: the fate of a man who committed an unforgivable aggressive act.

Modern society dictates our rules of the game. And then for which his father would praise 100 years ago, today he causes a panic from his parents. What is children's aggression? Is it worth fighting with her? And if worth it, then how.

Types of aggression in children

According to the most common interpretation, children's aggression is a behavior aimed at others either, and related to harm. Depending on how this behavior manifests itself, the following types of aggression are distinguished:

• Verbal - The child screams, curses, calls, verbally insults. Depending on this, whether the baby pronounces to the person who has angry him, or complains to a third party who was not related to the conflict, aggression is divided into direct and indirect, respectively.
• Physical - Here there is causing material harm to the object of anger.

Such aggression can be:

• straight - Children fight, bite, knock, scratch. The purpose of this behavior is to cause pain to another person;
• indirect - The course of harm is in progress. A child can tear a book, break a toy or destroy someone else's sand castle.
• symbolic - It is a threat to the use of force. Often this variety of aggression develops into direct. For example, the child shouts that he will bite you and, if intimidation does not work, it realizes him.

No matter how childish aggressive behavior is manifested, in parents it always causes a stupor and bewilderment. Where did it come from? What to do about it? The usual conversations that fighting and swearing badly do not help.

Causes of outbreak of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents

Especially painfully family members perceive the aggression aimed at them. Why the child can be understood as aggressive with other children, but at home they treat the child well. So what is the causes of outbreaks of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents?

1. The most common group of reasons can be qualified as “family problems”. Moreover, these can be both difficulties in the relationship between parents and child, and the problems of adults who are not directly related to the baby: divorce, death of a close relative
2. Children, like adults, have their own individual characteristics. Therefore, the second group of reasons can be attributed to "personal characteristics." The child can be easily excitable, anxious, irritable. It is difficult for him to control his emotions, so any trifle can bring him a rage
3. And the last group can be described as “situational reasons”. Fatigue, poor health, heat, long monotonous pastime, poor -quality food. Such things can get out of themselves not only a child, but also an adult

Diagnosis of aggression in children

All these factors can intersect, superimplace on each other. To identify what caused the child’s aggressive behavior in a particular case will help a qualified psychologist. Diagnosis of aggression in children is carried out in several meetings, as a result of which the specialist gives an analysis of the problem and offers ways to solve it

The choice of methods for correcting aggression depends on many points. But parents need to be prepared for the fact that there is no simple way to treat aggression. To help the child will have to work hard, including himself, including

What to pay attention to first of all, what recommendations to parents of aggressive children should be guided by? Here a lot depends on the reasons for such behavior of the child and his age

Aggression in children at 2-3 years old

For this period, there is a crisis of 3 years. The kids are selfish, not used to share. In case of disagreement with something, they can hit, scream or break something that does not belong to them.

It should be remembered that while children do not know how to control their emotions, so this behavior is rather a norm than a deviation. Do not scold the child, it is better to try something to distract from the object of his bad mood.

Excessive severity can lead to aggravation of the problem. Take the baby aside, gently say that you can’t behave like that and offer a new occupation.

Aggressive preschool children

Most often, aggression in children for various reasons occurs in preschool age. At this time, a little man still does not know how to express his emotions and feelings and tries to express them precisely as aggression.

Aggression in children at 4-5 years old

At this age, the child begins to be mastered in society. He checks, explores how his behavior affects other people, including parents.

If his actions do not harm others, give him the opportunity to build the boundaries of his "I". It should be understood that this does not mean permissiveness. You need to clearly make it clear to the child what is possible and what is not. How he can express his anger (in words), but how not (physically).

Aggression in children 6-7 years old

Children of older preschool age are not too often aggressive. They have already learned to control themselves, understand what is good and what is bad. If the child behaves aggressively and cruelly, you should think about the reasons.

Perhaps he does not have enough independence or difficult to communicate with peers. Now interaction with other children for the baby in the first place.

Aggression among schoolchildren

Schoolchildren also do not yet have a psyche formed to the end and most often express their feelings on peers and teachers as aggressive self -defense.

Aggression in children at 8-9 years old

The child is actively growing, expanding his knowledge about peace and about himself. Both boys and girls begin to pay attention to the opposite sex. The authority of the adult is questioned.

It is important for parents to understand that the child has ceased to be a baby. From now on, children require their relationship as equal. Aggression of schoolchildren is often associated with adult rejection of this fact.

Aggression in children at 10-12 years old

The younger adolescence prepares parents for crisis and complex adolescence. Already now, the authority of peers for a child is more important than parent. Aggressive outbreaks cannot be avoided now.

It is important not to respond with aggression to aggression and not enter the slippery path of confrontation. It is better to try to build partnerships with the child. Spend more time with him, talk on adult topics. Of course, the frames and boundaries should be. Still, you are a parent, not a friend of your child.

In any of these periods, it should be understood when aggression is only temporary, situational, and when he threatens to turn into an accentuation of character. If the problem of children's aggression in your family is quite acute, and you feel that you can’t cope with the situation, do not be afraid to seek help. Education of aggressive children is not an easy task. And the work of a psychologist will not be superfluous here.

How to relieve aggression in a child? Aggression treatment in children

There are various methods of how to relieve aggression in a child. The network has a large amount of information on this issue.

Video: Children's aggression. How to help the child get rid of her?

All these classes and achievements can be tried to apply to life. One of the children does not like to draw, but with pleasure will compose a story with fictional characters. Some guys like to build and break. And someone just feels the need to shout, thus releasing anger.

Aggressive child recommendations to parents

Whatever way you choose, you should understand that this is only a transitional stage for your child.

• Through games and exercises, you can relieve stress, but they are not a panacea
• The child must learn to cope with his emotions constructively, expressing them with words. Having spoke the true cause of his disorder, he will be relieved and will be able to search for options for solving his problem. Agree, when everything inside is bubbling from anger is difficult to find a way out
• Perhaps during classes with your child you will understand that the problem of children's aggression lies in yourself, in your parents
• It is difficult to admit this, but this is not an indicator that you are a bad mother or a bad father. This speaks of you as an adult, responsible person. Having made certain efforts, you can change the situation. And whatever your child does, remember, he waits for you to love him no matter what
• Confidence in their necessity, values \u200b\u200bfor the most important people in their lives - parents - is able to work miracles even with the most notorious hooligans

Video: How to teach a child to manage his emotions and express his feelings?

Games for aggressive children

• The life of children, especially younger age, consists of 90% games. Through them, the child learns the world and learns to live in it. Therefore, often, when words in order to explain to the baby how to cope with the passions raging in him, you can and should use game situations
• Fragon each other with pillows, arrange a “war” with snowballs in winter and water pistols in the summer, play Dartz, loudly jubilant with every hit, run a race, play a naval battle
• This will help the child lose his internal stress. Remember the films in which the hero, angry, threw his opponent in the face of the cake, and ended with laughter and friendly eating the remnants of sweets

Exercises for aggressive children

In addition to simple games, known to all from childhood, in interaction with children who are inclined to often show aggression, use the exercises developed by psychologists.

Video: Games to reduce child aggression

Classes with aggressive children

• During all the games and exercises mentioned above, it is important to give the child to understand that with their help he can cope with his emotions and without your direct help
• During a quarrel, for example, you can say: "We are both very angry now, let's take pillows and will fight until we forgive each other." Thus, you will not only remove the tension, but also show how to solve the conflict without victims
• Another important point in any lesson with the child is to build the boundaries of the permitted: during the battle, pillows need to be stipulated that you can only beat with a pillow, without the participation of the legs. If it is necessary to cope with verbal aggression, then you can get involved, but not insulting, for example, by the names of vegetables

Education of aggressive children

The necessary components of the educational process of children who do not know how to constructively express their emotions are reflection and a personal example.

The concept of reflection implies the ability to analyze your feelings. When the child screams or beats other children, he does not always understand what is happening to him. It is important to talk with him about this so that he feels your participation and support in a difficult situation for him.

Children learn all the ways of their interaction with other people primarily in the family. Pay attention to how you and your loved ones cope with anger. Maybe your baby just copies adults? And before changing his behavior, you need to change yourself?

Video: Children's anger and aggression. Why do our children become evil?

Why is the child aggressive with other children

• The situation is frequent when the child behaves aggressively, parents learn from third parties. Complaints of a teacher or teacher are perplexed. What to do in this situation? What measures should be taken
• First of all, you need to breathe deeply and delve into the situation. What exactly happened? Under what circumstances? The child shows aggression for someone specific or to all children
• It is also important to find out the opinion of the child on this issue. Try to ask him. But do not crush. Kids can not always tell about their experiences
• You should pay attention to what he will do in the evening. Tw for a doll's head? Talk about what the doll has done, she is good or bad, why she had to be punished. You can draw together and through the drawing to play the situation that happened during the day

The work of a psychologist with aggressive children

If you do not work with the causes of constant aggressive outbreaks of the child, do not need to let the situation be released for a “self”. In some cases, consultation with a psychologist is equally useful for both parents and a child.

A specialist will help to figure out what is behind such behavior and give recommendations for the upbringing of your baby. In some cases, psychocorrectional work is needed.

Correction of aggression in children

At the mention of the word “psychocorrection”, many parents have an attack of panic: something is wrong with my child, he is not normal, as it happened that others think, they will suddenly think that my child is a psycho. But you should not avoid seeking help due to your own fears.

Due to the fact that you and your child will not visit the psychologist, the problem will not disappear. Think about what is more important: how you will look in the eyes of others or the health of your baby.

Depending on what kind of children's problem, correctional work can be:

• individual - the child is engaged in one on one with a psychologist. More suitable for older teenagers who are not ready for group work
• family-when classes with a psychologist are attended by the whole family or one of the family members and the child. This type of work is ideal for young children. He is able to teach not only the baby himself to cope with strong emotions, but also to help mom and dad correctly understand and respond to the emotional outbreaks of his child
• group - the child attend classes with peers. Through game situations, communication, he is to learn to better understand himself and behave in society in an acceptable way, without humiliating and not offending others

Prevention of aggressive behavior of children

It is far from always the fears of parents about the fact that their child has serious problems justified. Often, seemingly unsolvable difficulties in practice are not so scary.

Nevertheless, it is important to listen to your children and understand what is happening in their life. With the right attitude, you can easily prevent an aggressive outbreak, direct strong emotions in the right direction and reconcile a child with his own feelings, and therefore with the whole world!

Video: How to repay aggression in a child (Sh.A. Amonashvili)