Who is a person perfectionist - definition, types, characteristics, psychologist's advice: why does a person become a perfectionist, how to behave with a perfectionist? Famous perfectionists. Test: Are you perfectionist?

Do you know people who should lead to the ideal? Maybe you yourself are such a person?

Content

In this article we will consider who the perfectionist is, and we will also figure out how critical the symptom is. Also, with the help of the test, we will analyze how much this quality is developed in you.

Who is a perfectionist person: definition

Perfectionism (from the French "Perfectzon") - confidence The fact that every person can and should be perfection, the ideal needs to strive all the time and help other people achieve it. This term arose among the Protestants of the 19th century and later reborn into the concept of “classical perfectionism”, represented in the philosophy of I. Kant, G. Leibniz and Marx, who believed that a person should strive for perfect internal moral purity, develop his skills.
The desire to bring all that begun to the perfect ending is a trait worthy of respect. A certain category of people strives for this, despite the circumstances, the possibilities and desires of others. Such personalities include perfectionists - Great performers and strict bosses.
Perfectionist - This is a person striving for perfection in everything, his life credo says that you can always achieve the perfect result if you try. And, at first glance, this is not so bad, since perfectionist He tries to be the best in everything. Whatever it costs, but he will achieve the goal, no matter how difficult it may seem.

Such people are indispensable as employees, since the concepts of “a lot of work” simply do not exist for them. “I see the goal - I see no obstacles” - it is said about the perfectionist. However, there is the reverse side of the coin, and it lies in the fact that each result not good enough for a perfectionist, He always strives for more, competing with both other people and himself.
This is due to psychological problems, a kind of dysfunction, which entails a state of dissatisfaction not only by its actions, but by any activity of others. Due to constant attempts to stand out, to be “on the head” above the rest, the perfectionist does not know the rest-neither physical nor emotional.
The slightest failure It may not only upset him, but also drive him out for a long time, the result of which there are even attempts to reduce life.

Too strong the desire to be perfection In the eyes of other people, it often leads to the absence of friendly support in life (not so easy to find friends corresponding to the exorbitant requests of a person-idealist), the inability to devote time to loved ones, rest and their favorite hobby (too much time is spent on the desire to fulfill it because of the simplest activity. Everything is as good as possible). Appear problems with the nervous systemon the cause of the tension (Ideal results of any activity need evidence).

Why does a person become a perfectionist?

The reasons for the development of perfectionism:

The origins of perfectionism are often in childhood, when, striving for attention and respect on the part of adults, the child “works” on praise all the time, he fulfills the requirements on “5”, therefore, he loves - only that.
The realization that a person is valuable only by the fact that he does correctly with others, looks great, etc. Some adolescents who survived the breakup only because the partner lacked an ideal face or not too proportional figure, later reflexively “stretch” for ideal, in their opinion, people to feel full.
Perfectionism as a kind of neurosisIt was originally based on healthy idealism, but the ongoing fear of a potential failure entails depressive states, absolutely dissatisfaction with oneself. In order to avoid nervous breakdowns, one must be the best in a certain field of activity, and not at all at once.

People perfectionists: character features

How to find out the true perfectionist? In fact, they are characterized by some features and patterns of behavior:

The principle of "all or nothing" - For such people, there is no “golden middle”, they are people of extremes, so sometimes they judge others by a single act. That is, seeing at some point that a person acts badly, a perfectionist immediately hangs a label on him: “He is bad, evil”, etc.
They are not only people of extremes - even in their address, they rarely think positively, for example: "I eaten candy - the end of the diet ... Why not get the whole box."
They are not characteristic to entrust someone to work (even the simplest), since the perfectionists are convinced, no one will fulfill the task better than themselves. The environment is inclined to think that such behavior is too disturbing, but for a perfectionist it is just the desire to do everything perfectly.
They are demanding both to yourself and to other people. Laying out every time “in full”, they expect that everyone else will do the same. Perhaps this is the reason that failure for perfectionist is like death.

It is difficult for them to bring to the end some kind of business due to the fact that you want all the time improve the result. The desire to share the fruits of their efforts with others is also great, since I really want to hear the words of approval.
The words “duty, should often arise in the perfectionist in the head and are no less often voiced. He establishes his own orders, which no one has the right to violate, opponents of his “laws” become Persons of “Non-Grad”.
Such personalities self -confident Only reaching considerable heights, backed up by universal recognition. They need to be perfect not only in their eyes, but also according to the estimates of others. Having achieved one goal, perfectionists immediately switch to another.
Any failureit causes mental flour in them, and this can be only one, a slight miscalculation, which immediately makes perfectionists doubt themselves.

If a personality with a similar type of thinking understands that he is not able to fulfill some task “excellent”, she simply will not undertake it or put it “in a long box” until she understands how to bring everything to the ideal.

Seeking to do everything perfect, a perfectionist spends too much time at work, endlessly improving and rechecizing something. Thus, hobbies and beloved people are ignored.
Criticism for them is like a red rag for a bull, even if it is essentially. Hearing a critical remark addressed to him, the “ideal man” may not react quite adequately and to value the task or request.

Types of "ideal" personalities:

Adaptive perfectionist - perceives the initial failure as a push to development, capable of leading to much greater “heights”.
Disadaptive perfectionist - Most likely it suffers from the disorder of the psyche, as it is always dissatisfied with its achievement, so the result of actions, in any case, is negative (in the opinion of this person).

How to behave with a perfectionist?

Rules for communication with a perfectionist:

Set it as an example as a persistent and hardworking person.
Give him from time to time labor -intensive and responsible task. Performing it, he will give you a break.
Listening a continuous stream of comments From the "person-ideal", do not be discouraged, but pretend that you agree with criticism, meanwhile to let it past her ears. Thus, your pride will not suffer, and the perfectionist will be sure that he has been understood.
In the case of overstated claims from the perfectionist, when even persuasion and sincere conversations do not help, recommend him to contact a specialist.

Psychologists believe that The basis of perfectionism There may be a desire to hear praise in your address, sometimes the fear of doing something wrong. All this is the background of low self -esteem and the lack of self -confidence, which are the sources of this concept.

Why does a perfectionist behave like that?

The origins of fear

Feeling of fear It arises when a person fulfills some kind of assignment and is not completely sure how they perceive the result of his efforts: they will praise or refuse, scold.
Fear of being unclaimed or criticized It undermines and so insufficiently high self -esteem of personality. Without learning by what parameters his work will be evaluated, a person seeks to endlessly improve it, thus losing precious time allocated on a mission and not receiving the long -awaited praise.
Thus, without finding out what exactly is required of him, the employee will assume that he all the time does not make something and raise the “bar” even higher.

The desire for praise

Even if the perfectionist has a firm confidence that his work positively will be appreciated, he will make maximum efforts so that the result of his work provokes at least applause (Especially for those people who are aware of how hard the project was given to the perfectionist).

Universal recognition

Such people are afraid to be "Gray mass", Do not stand out. They are constantly oppressed by the feeling that no one sees their abilities, no matter how hard they tried.
And although the perfectionist in most cases is confident in his ideality, it is confirmed by his talents, confession They are aloud in front of a wide mass - it is necessary for him like air.

Types of people of perfectionists

There are several types of perfectionist people. These include:

Children

They have overstated requirements They appear to themselves already at an early age.
The kid is ready to complete the task only if he is confident ahead of time in his successful result, while he is a worthy opponent.
He perceives his mistakes, like criticism painful, subjected to doubts about his talents, he does not satisfy any result of his own work, which is why he has to spend a lot of time on a mission in order to bring to the ideal.
How to behave to parents with such children? the main task - to help your child in increasing self -esteem, explain that any mistake can adjust, teach to set goals that can be achieved if everything is correctly planned.
Parents should remember that any comparison with another child, as well as the requirement to achieve high results, no matter what or “pay” with love and care for achieving, unacceptable.

Strong floor

It would seem that he has some features perfectionists: the desire to be better than others, keep everything under control, have his own “planks” of development and achievements, he sometimes “bends the stick”, making a person who is prone to excessive drama from a man. There is no tolerance of both their own and other people's mistakes, there is a rejection of compromises.
It is clear what is behavior deprives a strong sex of masculinity - instead of a self -confident personality, a person becomes only her weak likeness, overgrown complexes and fears. It is very difficult to get along with such a person, because he constantly requires something, sets the framework and executes himself, and then loved ones.

Fair sex

Fragile women are especially not easy to be perfect. They should constantly be on their account "Victory" over oneself (perfect appearance), close (ideal house and family) and work (ideal in the eyes of the boss and employees).
But no matter how difficult it was a woman-perfectionist to achieve all these heights, she is forced to day after day find the tops erected by your own hands.
To loved ones, such ladies are not inclined to show tolerance, so children in a similar family often turn onto the curve path, throwing their mother’s call with their behavior. Spouses at some point also do not withstand such pedantry and go to less demanding partners.

Leaders

Subordinates of such personalities feel their constant inferiority, since the result of their work never receives approval.
Head-Perfectionist It always requires the maximum and becomes intolerant if its requests are not executed.
Whatever task the employee gets, the result of his efforts will be criticized and analyzed in any case, up to the comma or number.

Council of subordinates the leader-identifier: Do not be offended by criticism and do not try to achieve praise. It is better to consult all the time with the boss, attracting him to the process of performing his own assignment. Thus, he will feel responsible for the result of work, and also see that you follow all his recommendations.

What to do to perfectionists: psychologists' advice

According to psychologists, perfectionists should:

Accustom yourself to distribute tasks according to their degree importance and priority, spending a certain amount of effort and time on them;
Allow yourself to be periodic relaxation, that is, alternate work and rest in order to save physical strength and maintain a positive attitude;
Stop compare themselves with others, to understand how they differ from others, what they are good in and what not.
Learn to feel joy From their own and other people's achievements, without criticizing themselves for misses, but perceiving them as a step to subsequent success.
To begin encourage your own achievements: Without focusing on the shortcomings, try to see in yourself more good (and not only positive actions, but also character traits for which you should love yourself).
To enjoy life in any available ways, for example, to find a hobby “for the soul”, and not to obtain an assessment.

Famous perfectionists

And, finally, we recall some well-known personalities-perfectionists, who, despite their complex character, have nevertheless benefited to society, having achieved significant success in a wide variety of areas of life:

Among them is a writer Lev Tolstoy, Which so wanted his works to be perfect, which endlessly made amendments to them, and one of his novels (the second volume of Dead Souls) even burned, considering that he was not good enough for the reader.
It is known that the founder of the company "Apple", Steve Jobs, tried that all his devices look perfect - this requirement concerned even internal microchips, which were obliged to look aesthetically pleasing.

Another famous perfectionist can be considered a commander Alexander of Macedonwho was experiencing all his life due to the fact that even one of the many universal worlds was not subject to him.

Test: Are you perfectionist?

You can also check whether you are prone to perfectionism by going through this small test of ten questions:

Going to go on vacation, you prefer:

consider the best options for comparison;
allow other people to choose for you;
plan a trip for a couple of months;
For 15 years in a row to relax in the same resort.

You are the organizer of the home party, after which your living room resembles the battlefield. You reason:

“I will make the latest efforts, but I will restore order”;
"It is worth doing cleaning";
“I will not go to bed until the room is perfectly clean”;
"I will get in the morning."

You agreed to give your friend to the station, but they hit on the road. Your thoughts:

“He will have hatred for me!”;
“I will make a stop, turn off the map, and we will continue the way”;
“We will not have time for the train on time”;
"Everything will be fine".

You could not cope with the assigned task and think that:

“And it was clear that I could not do it!”;
“The next attempt will be crowned with success”;
“I am not capable of anything!”;
"It is worth analyzing your mistakes ...".

As a child, you argued that the requirements of your parents in relation to you were:

overstated;
high;
acceptable;
undressed.

You think that the opinion of your parents about you can be described as:

“Well done, go on the same spirit!”;
"Everything is fine!";
"You are not too hard!";
"Could be better."

Talking about yourself, you described your personality as:

very demanding;
too demanding;
not so demanding;
most likely demanding.

When your employee or friend can do something better than you, what is your reaction?

“This is a complete failure”;
“He is capable of a lot!”;
“I did, everything that depended on me”;
"I was not the best."

You did not have time to prepare for some event due to the fact that:

at the wrong time, everything that is necessary for preparation and organization received;
they double -check a hundred times so as not to miss anything;
you are too slow;
you did not immediately understand where to start.

Having completed some business, you usually:

you feel that you coped with him mediocre;
infrequently satisfied with themselves;
always satisfied with the results;
always very satisfied with themselves.

If in your answers there are more satisfaction with yourself and not many nit -picks, you do not belong to the category of perfectionists. The diametrically opposite choice indicates that you have a craving for idealism. If in the answers approximately in half of self -criticism and satisfaction with your actions, then your character is a “golden” middle.