In this article, we will talk about such a psychological term as the Electra complex.
Content
- Electra complex: myth that gave the name to the phenomenon
- The interpretation of the term: what is and what is the danger of a complex of Electra?
- Signs of the Electra complex
- The reasons for the formation of the Electra complex
- How to get rid of the Electra complex: tips, recommendations
- We offer to familiarize yourself with the video of a psychologist about the Electra complex:
The Electra Complex is a beautiful phrase, agree. In fact, this term with an aura of antiquity hides a psychological problem that is able to literally destroy the life of a woman. Let's try to understand this issue in more detail.
Electra complex: myth that gave the name to the phenomenon
Myths are a storehouse not only for linguists and historians, but also for psychologists. So, for example, many have heard about the so -called "Oedipus complex". That is, about the unhealthy attachment of boys to their mothers.
Important: the Electra complex is a kind of mirror display of the Oedipus complex. That is, a condition in which the girls are too attached to the fathers and nourish hostility to mothers.
How did this terminology form? The source was the myth in which the king of Hellas appeared Agamemnon, his wife Clytemnestra, son Orest And daughter Electra. The latter, by the way, was the king’s beloved child - a “daddy’s daughter”, as is usually said now.
It would seem that here it is - family happiness. But Clytemnestra had a man Egisf. And, accordingly, the husband became an obstacle to her. Klimnestra decided to solve her problem in a dramatic way: she killed her husband, and sent her children out of sight. True, there is a version that Agamemnon Esgif killed, but the result is the same in any case.
Klimnestra celebrated the victory, but not for long. She did not take into account Strong love of Electra for the Father. The daughter decided to revenge her mother, enlisting her brother’s support. As a result, both Klimnestra and EgiSF were killed.
The interpretation of the term: what is and what is the danger of a complex of Electra?
Not all readers are likely to understand what the problem is. After all, attachment to the father is a normal phenomenon. After all, it is much worse when there is no mutual understanding with parents.
According to psychologists' research, the complex begins to appear most often at the age of 4 or 5 years. The girl during this period begins to walk with her tail. And a little jealous of mother as his competitor, taking part of his father's attention.
Important: as a rule, having matured, girls begin to love both parents equally. But this is ideal.
With mature owners of the complex, everything is much more complicated. When the attachment is excessive, she can destroy the girl’s life. For example, she is extremely it will be difficult to decide on a separate accommodation from parents. The very idea that you will have to at least not see a beloved father a day, leads such girls into a state of panic.
Finding a life satellite will also be almost an impossible task. The Electra woman wants to see only a copy of her father next to her. And nothing else! And to implement this idea is quite difficult, since the image has already been somewhat idealized.
A woman with a neglected complex can completely losing your "I". Career growth with business trips, requiring the investment of the mental strength of a hobby - this is often not available to such people. After all, the lion's part of the energy feeds excessive love for the father and life is purely with his interests.
Also, for a girl-electrics, it is bad that her Relations with the mother are far from good. After all, if children's competition for his father's attention flows into adulthood, you can only dream of mutual understanding with your mother.
Important: the complex of Electra is dangerous by the fact that he awards his owners of a fair amount of infantility. They are little girls even at 50.
Signs of the Electra complex
How can you recognize a complex of electro?
- Father pops up very often, even if he has not been there for a long time. Young woman remembers him for any reason - And in the joyful moments of their life, and in sad ones. If the father once left his daughter, her resentment does not subside over the years.
- Approval from the Father is a holy matter!Moreover, in any way: choosing a profession, repairs in the house - all this should please the father in the first place, and not the girl itself. Even such a purely female lesson as the selection of a wardrobe is dictated by purely fatherly preferences.
- "What would my father say about this?" - Only about this and can think Electra. Not only any actions, but also views should receive its approval.
- If a conflict occurs between parents, electro Selects the side of the dad. Even if he is wrong. Even if the girl did not delve into the essence of the conflict.
- Hostility towards the mother - quite frequent phenomenon. And sometimes even unconscious. The girl refers to her mother as if the latter is to blame for all the troubles that happen.
Important: it comes to the point that an electrical girl even dreams of life without a mother. A family, consisting only of her and father - ideal. Moreover, such fantasies can even scare the girl.
- Concerning Men Dreams of Women Electors, then he is definitely It is a copy of the father. Moreover, it is not so important what exactly - in appearance, in character, in the nuances of behavior. It is important that the association arises. Ideally, of course, Electra wants the chosen one to look like dad in everything.
- For this reason, such a girl is most passionate about men who are much older. Age for such girls is important. With men older, they feel like little girls. Unfortunately, they try to hold on to such men with all their might. Even if they experience a disrespectful attitude.
- Very often an electric not happy with a man who is nearby. He does not look like a father - and a point. Even if the young man is not burdened with significant shortcomings, such a woman focuses on the little ones. And provoke a break in the relationship.
- Loneliness - Frequent satellite of such women.
- They are often go to men's professions, Strive show male qualities. This is the compensation of the lack of father's attention.
Important: at the same time, at heart, such girls feel like little girls who need support.
- Often such women they are afraid to deal with their problems themselves, make decisions. In almost everything, they hope for male support - father, brother, for example. That is, there is a certain infantilism, Which, of course, interferes in life.
- Inferiority complex -The phenomenon that is found in an electrical girl is not so rare. She feels like an unhappy person who lacks attention and love.
- Such people are very dependent psychologically on others. And not only from the fathers. They can boast of someone so much that the need to part will inevitably become a harbinger of severe depression.
The reasons for the formation of the Electra complex
Where did this complex come from? There may be many reasons:
- Copying the model of mother behavior. If the mother idolized her father, suffering from a complex of Electra, the high probability that the girl in the subconscious will learn such a model. And he will begin to adhere to her.
- Divorce - A phenomenon that can also impart the development of the complex. As a rule, during a divorce, children stay with their mother. Such a girl can rarely see her father, and a date is akin to the holiday. At the same time, life with a mother can oppress.
Important: this does not mean at all that the mother is bad. But the household side of life, when a mother can scold for something or not buy something, does her job.
- The appearance of the daughter with his fatherSurprisingly, they can also fasten their connection. Subconsciously, the child feels a great connection with the parent.
- If a parents passionately dreamed of a son And a daughter was born, the girl can quite earn a complex of Electra. She almost certainly all her life will strive to gain their location, especially dad.
- If in the family the mother dominates Her daughter can also become a carrier of the complex. Mother in such families is tough, she suppresses her husband. As a result, the daughter experiences a strong pity for her father, seeks to patronize him. Mother begins to hate.
How to get rid of the Electra complex: tips, recommendations
But do not lose heart! Of course, the best refract with the Electra complex earlier. However, you can always come out the winner.
Recommendations for combating the complex are as follows:
- "Do not make yourself an idol" - Rule for all times and for any occasion. The girl needs to learn that her dad is not perfection, but the most ordinary person. Having not only advantages, but also disadvantages. We must try to perceive it as a living ordinary person.
- If the father left his family or he is no longer alive, We need to try let him go. Visualization in this matter helps well. It is recommended to introduce the father as brightly as possible, thank him for all the good and say goodbye.
Important: you need to learn how to see the line between "remember the father" and "think about him almost every minute."
- The next step - reconciliation with the mother. To do this, it is worth recalling conflict situations where she and her father participate. Then you need to try to take the side of the mother, see the conflict with her eyes and understand. You can list the positive features of the mother on the leaf. And, of course, you need to make peace with it live. It's time to stop being a victim! You need to become an adult.
- Need work on your "Yan". Since a person ideally should be harmonious, it is also important to work out the male part. However, the male part of the fair sex is not rudeness and sloppiness. it independence From someone's opinion, organization, work on goals. This will help the girl get rid of infantility and excessive emotional attachment.
- It is also no less important work on Yin. The girl needs to start pay attention to your appearance, learn to take care. The girl should become soft, calm, remove hysteria from your arsenal and stop entering a psychological battle with men. Firstly, the pleasure of life will appear. Secondly, such a lady will inevitably attract good men.
- Down with the role of the victim! Eternal fears only exacerbate the complex. Fear of loneliness, critics, losses of loved ones pushing recovery. A woman must learn stop to endure What you don't like. Speaking "no" sometimes is the best medicine. You need to learn how to do not only what the father or anyone else will like, but also what he likes.
Important: in order not to be afraid of loneliness, it is important to learn how to support yourself. The girl should accept herself as she is.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with the love for the father. On the contrary, this is a natural phenomenon. However, when everything looks in the way, as presented in the article, it is worthwhile to be wary.