How to raise a smart child?

I knew the peasants in the Russian north, who were truly intelligent. They observed amazing cleanliness in their homes, knew how to appreciate good songs, knew how to tell “there” (that is, what happened to them or others), lived in an orderly life, were hospitable and friendly, applied to someone else's grief, and to someone else's joy. Intelligence is the ability to understand, perception, this is a tolerable attitude to the world and to people.
Dmitry Likhachev

In the broadest sense, the paradox is understood as a statement that diverges with generally accepted opinion and seems illogical (often only with a superficial sense).

Smart child is able to understand the motives of other people

To educate a smart child does not mean to educate a person who can quickly find information on the Internet. And, of course, not just well -read and erudite. These are rather signs of intelligence.

A smart child is a subject capable of understanding what is happening around, understanding the motives of people, not to condemn them, and not to prevent them from fulfilling the plan.

How can you teach this child if parents themselves often do not reach a similar understanding of the world?

Here are several ways:

How to build a healthy emotional attitude with a child?

The paradox is the first.Only what you always do from the child should be required. The usual educational text, which we broadcast into our children, is what we heard from our own parents, from parents of parents, from neighbors and friends of the nearby circle who have children.
However, it is worth considering that much in our life was formed contrary to the wishes of the parents. We have already passed by the time of the birth of our own child a long way of mastering the world and even managed to understand that the elders transmitted from the lips in the mouth of the elders have a deep and wise meaning.
However, by virtue of our own drawing of fate, some of the bad habits convenient for us, stable patterns of behavior, and in a word, stereotypes were fixed.

If you want the child to develop effectively and not spend the psychic energy to figure out why dad or mother forbid him what they do daily, demand from him only what you do not allow yourself.
This applies to brushing teeth at night, and cleaning of bed, and obscene vocabulary (mat), and habits in food, and the ability to interrupt, without listening to the interlocutor and many other little things, of which, in fact, the concept of education is formed.
The first paradox is precisely this - it is important not the number of correct skills vaccinated by the child, but the complete transparency of the family in this matter.
And here adults can not do without correction of their own behavior: without recognizing the absolute equality of all family members in the issue of rights and obligations, without sincere grateful conversations with the child that I would be glad to get rid of some things, but it has been very deep and requires the help of specialists

Relations of cooperation with children

The second paradox.Relations of cooperation with children. Cooperation is joint work on the laws of free choice. It is very important that the child from early childhood feels, and later realizes what is considered to be with him. What does it mean "considered"?
This means that there is a certain range, or the corridor of possibilities - from all now. For example, we get together at home. Cleaning includes different surfaces and operations to restore order. So he must have the right to choose. What exactly is he or she will do. And so in everything. The range is set by the parent. And inside the child is free to choose. It is simple and brilliant.

The ability to listen to your child and hear him

The paradox is the third. The ability to listen to your child and hear him. How to make your child be able to listen to the interlocutor, listen carefully, notice the nuances of mood and rebuild during the conversation so as to always keep a degree of interest in the conversation? There is only one way - to listen to your own child. Listen carefully. Establish the nuances of his mood. Rebuild in a conversation on the wave of the child. And always show him or to her that you are sincerely interested in what he or she says. Gradually, the habit of listening to the fact that the baby mutters, develops into deep empathy, into the ability to see the world with his eyes. And then your own world doubles. The colorful palette of colors is colorful. Empathy can be taught a child only through empathic identification with him.

Attitude with the child of her husband, father

The paradox is fourth. Who is more influenced by a mother or father? The answer is other children. It is generally accepted that the closest person for a child is a mother. It is from the mother that a person learns to be a man. It is the mother who implicitly affects throughout life the elections of a person, his preferences and fate. However, alternatives - mother or father - do not exist. A significantly stronger factor in the formation of personality is the presence or absence of other children in the family.

What books to read, what cartoons to look at a smart child?

Paradox fifth. How to teach a child to read? It is impossible to teach to read a person who grows in isolation from books. If the books in the house only draw up an interior if the child does not see how lovingly from time to time the dust is blown away from the time, if they don’t read together in the family, they do not laugh together over the heroes of humorous stories and do not cry over sad short novels, which means the parents themselves in childhood There was no such experience. And what to do? Take the understanding that your child does not like to read.

The main thing in the selection of books, fairy tales and cartoons is the purity of emotions, their naturalness and naturalness. In childhood, the main thing is the language of feelings. For example, the famous American cartoon “Tom and Jerry” is impeccable from the point of view of causal relationships and physical laws. But from the point of view of feelings, it is primitive and even sent. So you can watch any cartoons, but you need to watch them together.

How to deal with negative emotions, irritation?

The paradox of the sixth.

• Negative emotions indicate an error in conclusions. If something upsets you, then you do not see the pluses in what is happening for your development.
• Remember a simple, but incredibly deep saying in your content - "everything that is done is all for the better."
• We use it as a comforting cliche. But folk wisdom focused in this saying one of the universal laws of the universe. Everything that is done is all for the better.
• We will be able to teach children in any event to see a lesson only if we learn this ourselves.
• And the sooner the child will practice such an attitude to tests, the easier and easier they will be, and the more healthy and balanced his character will become.

How to grow your like -minded and friend?

The seventh paradox. What does it mean to be sincere? Sincerity is the coincidence of intentions, words and actions.

If you say one thing, you think, it’s different, but you are doing the third, be prepared for the fact that the children will unconsciously hide their true inclinations from you.

How to educate good relations with other children and people?

We now come to us special, difficult, paradoxical children. An attempt to comprehend, master, accustom yourself to the idea of \u200b\u200bthat. that education requires difficult, paradoxical decisions will certainly give a result sooner or later. And the most amazing thing is that by raising your child like that, you suddenly feel deep inner personal comfort.

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