What is bullying at school, at work? Why does bullying arise and how to recognize it? Is it possible to deal with bullying and how to do it?

In this article, we will talk about what is bullying and how to deal with it.

Content

Bulling is a phenomenon that has existed since ancient times. In the modern world, it is increasingly found. It is generally accepted that bullying from girls is perceived worst, because girls always come up with sophisticated methods of persecution, which necessarily leaves an imprint on the mental of the victim.

What is bullying and why is it so dangerous?

The word "Bulling" came to us from English and translated as "Half". This is such an act of violence, an aggressive attack in the form of insults and humiliations, as well as bodily harm. At the first stage, it begins with one or two people called bulls. Gradually, they involve the whole team in which they are. When this happens, then the persecution develops into mobbing. This is already “herd” persecution, when, for example, a beginner comes to the classroom and everyone begins to poison him. Another feature of mobbing is that exclusively psychological techniques are used.

Why bullying occurs: reasons

Why can't such a phenomenon as bullying? Moreover, why is it more and more often? This is preceded by a huge number of reasons and the very first - violence in the Buller family, where he himself is a victim. Thus, the desire to humiliate a person appears from the inferiority complex. Buller cannot control violence at home, but at the same time at school or at work he himself controls the situation.

There are other reasons for this phenomenon:

Puberty. When the body is rebuilt and hormones are “raging”, then there is a lot of testosterone and adrenaline in the blood. And this often causes an increase in aggression. Someone is able to cope with her, but someone does not succeed.
A tendency to sadism. It can also be due to violence, although in some children this manifests itself very early and it is not always clear for what reason.
The desire to be in the spotlight. Then a person simply does not know how to achieve attention from others and does it in such sophisticated ways.

Who is the victim of bullying and why?

Often you can hear the question - why is my child subjected to bullying and persecution? It is extremely difficult to answer this question. Most likely, the answer comes from the causes of the phenomenon itself. According to statistics, the following types of children fall under the attention of the bulls:

Pupils who do not have time behind the school curriculum do not study well or often get sick
Gifted children, because they differ from the rest and always stand out
Children with disabilities. Over sick children and people with disabilities are often mocked
Children of teachers. Again, since the parent is a teacher, especially, if in the same school, then they poison the child, because he stands out
Children from poor families. Yes, they can poison the child for the fact that he is poorly dressed, he has no money and so on
Representatives of social minorities or other nationalities
People with non -standard thinking, because their opinion and views are always different
Darling teachers, because nobody loves the subhalimes

As a rule, three components are based on the basis of bullying - a pursuer, a victim and observers. It is rare when the defender also appears. Psychologists have determined that envy, hostility, sense of injustice and desire for self -affirmation lead to bullying. If the offender apologizes, then this is only a small part that will not allow compensating for the experience. And then, this is only if the adults recognized the bullying and took measures.

What is the bullying: views

Types of bullying are divided depending on exposure. This can be physical violence with bodily harm, as well as psychological pressure. Such a division is largely conditional, because causing physical injuries leads to an improvement in a mental state. Moreover, it does not even matter whether a child or an adult is subjected to persecution.

School bullying

It involves the aggression of one or more children after others. There are times when a whole class pokes one. At first, this rarely happens, but then it develops into a regular phenomenon. There are two types of manifestations of violence at school:

Physical. The child is kicked, pinch, they can hit, or altogether
Psychological. Then the children threaten, insult, intimidate, hang labels, declare a boycott, extort or select things and money

There is another type of psychological bullying, recently revealed-super-button. Then, on the Internet, the child is wherever possible, they begin to send insults, threats, intimidation, and so on. This method differs from the traditional one in that it is anonymous, and this makes the state of the person even worse.

Bulling at work

Often there is pressure from work colleagues. Of course, adults behave differently, not like children, but still no better. Thus, the “scapegoat” is often found in the team. Fighting with bullying can and should and there are several ways for this:

Increase your professionalism and become indispensable. Then no one will say that you are incompetent
You should not be like your offender, because so you only provoke him to new humiliation. Let him yell, insult, until you get bored, and you stay calm
Find yourself like -minded people who used to suffer from bullying
If nothing helps, then you can contact the leadership. But only in this case, your behavior may not be approved by the team, because no one loves Yabed
If the persecution still does not stop, then it is worth asking for transfer to another unit

Bulling in the family

This phenomenon is also often found and the reasons here are hidden in heredity, as well as various factors - economic, social or medical. So, three types of bullying in the family are distinguished:

Physical. Systematically harmed health - beatings, bodily injuries. Both adults and children are subjected to
Sexual. A child without consent is involved in the sexual actions of adults or adults
Psychological. The dignity of a family member is humiliated, insults fly in his direction. Such a child begins to form psychopathic features

How to deal with bullying?

This question seriously worries every psychologist, school principals and so on. The fact is that when initially everyone closed their eyes and the situation gained momentum, it is extremely difficult to eradicate bullying. The only way is to engage in prevention and suppress violence at the very beginning. Then the consequences will be very minimal.

Often, the bullets are children from dysfunctional families, and therefore the correction of their behavior and work with adults is the most important way to combat bullying.

How to recognize bullying: signs

Before opposing bullying, one must learn to identify it. In each individual case, parents should notice that not everything is fine with the child, the teacher should observe the atmosphere in the classroom, and the leader is the team. Only an attentive attitude allows at the early stage to identify bullying and minimize its consequences. If we talk about children's persecution, then you need to pay attention to the following points:

The child holds on the sidelines from everyone, does not communicate with anyone and is upset with something
The student begins to get sick often. As a rule, this is due to psychosomatic manifestations. That is, disorder and depression provoke a cold
The student is always alone on the back desk and others do not want to sit down to him
At a break, a group of guys clearly conceived something and it is clear that it was not good
In the dining room you can see how one student buys food to another. This is especially clear when children from primary school or middle classes buy food for high school students
Parents notice that the child began to ask for money more often, but the teacher says that nothing is required
The child is constantly depressed and goes to school with reluctance

How to help a child if he became a victim of bullying?

There are several ways to combat bullying and the child should tell about them so that he can overcome this grass.

Method 1. Collect its advantages

When the child is poisoned, then his self -esteem falls below. So try to prescribe his good qualities on paper with him, which will help to stand out. So, when the child meets with offenders, he will remember his qualities and, perhaps, uses something.

Well, of course, not everything is so primitive. For example, if the child was offended, and he thought that he was smart, then it would not work. Here the whole point is that knowing about his merits, the child will no longer consider himself useless. And this greatly affects behavior during conflicts.

Method 2. impenetrable wall

Ask the child to imagine that there is an insurmountable wall around him, and what’s it doesn’t matter for it at all. Well, nothing can be heard! So let someone shout, humiliates and scolds-you are behind the wall. You can even put the headphones in your ears and pretend that you are listening to music.

Many believe that this will make the offender pull out the headphones. But no matter how. If you do this with a sense of dignity, then the opponent is simply confused. Although, the advice is not suitable for everyone. Here you need a good endurance.

Method 3. Problems of the offender

What to do if a child is poisoned at school?

Invite the child to imagine that all the words of the offender are aimed at the personal problems of himself. Usually, when a person is adequate, then he does not have such behavior. Then the child will begin to look at the situation from the other side and cease to be nervous.

Everything works like dogs here. When a person is nervous, he swears and the dog feels and feels superiority. Accordingly, she attacks. Also with people. When the child is no longer nervous, the opponent feels and does not attack it. Or does it, but not as confident as before.

Method 4. Tolstoye elephant

Self -hypnosis triggers here. You can repeat in my head - "I am an elephant, I have thick skin, it does not matter that others chat there, it still bounces." Do not constantly think about resentment, because the more experiences, the more interesting to Buller.

Method 5. Teach the child to respond to lunges

For example, the offender says - “You are a terrible”, and her daughter in response - “And you are so sweet.” Approximately also you can answer many statements.

The meaning is to show thick -skinnedness and fend off the offender so that he cannot penetrate deeply. If you allow this, you will begin to believe the said and become a player in bullying.

Method 6. The main thing is not a victory

Play with children more often in different team games. They must learn, which is not the main thing - to be a winner. Sometimes you can lose.

Method 7. Let me realize

The child must realize himself, as well as train his strengths. For example, you can give him to a circle, which he likes, where he can increase self -esteem.

Bulling - what things can not be discussed?

Often, when children begin to poison at school, teachers themselves are to blame. They can even unconsciously provoke children for injury. For example, when a conversation comes to tidyness, the teacher reminds everyone that needs to look neat, but some Petrov came untidy. Think about what will be the reaction of the class? Of course, they will laugh. After all, adults allow themselves, and children copy them.

Parents should also be careful with statements. That is, you should not tell the child that he himself is to blame or somehow does not look like that. So parents take the side of the offenders and the child feels lonely. Also, do not express something with his friends.

You should not immediately go to the teacher, because just he could provoke everything that was happening. What will he do after talking with his parents? Just ask others not to touch the student. And this will make the situation only worse. In this case, it is better to talk with the parents of the child who poisoned.

It also happens that for some reason teachers themselves can dislike the child. For example, she has problems with the relationship, and she clung to your son and poisoned him for anything. So, you can talk with the teacher, but if nothing changes within a month, it is better to transfer to another school.

Bulling prevention - how to prevent persecution in the team?

In educational institutions, bullying prevention should be carried out by the efforts of all teachers and parents. All teachers, administration and parents are involved in this. Only in this case the result can be successful. The preventive measures of bullying are as follows:

The school creates special conditions that simply do not allow such a phenomenon to manifest
If bullying still takes place, then urgent measures are taken - the victim and the offender are divided to reduce the interaction of both
Educational work with children is carried out so that their personalities are strengthened, and they can withstand aggression
The existing forms of bullying within the educational institution are determined
Problems are discussed among teachers and in class
With the manifestation of bullying, a conversation with Buller and his parents must be held
Destructive behavior is subject to adjustment, and work is also carried out with his parents

What are the consequences of bullying - what's the danger?

Bulling always leaves a mark on the psyche. Moreover, it is not only for the victim. Yes, it is the injured party and the consequences may vary depending on the duration of the bullying. Mostly there are violations such as: low self -esteem, the fixed status of “victims”, as well as various kinds of neurosis, phobias and disorders. By the way, there are a lot of suicides among such victims.

Do not think that bulls are not expected. When they grow up, they often look back and cannot get rid of guilt and shame. This accompanies them all his life, but there is nothing to do. Such an imprint does not allow you to fully live and enjoy life, because in your thoughts a person still tries to fix something. However, among the bulls there are a lot of those who are becoming a criminal person and continues to engage in bullying, but in more dangerous ways. There is always responsibility for bullying, and the actions of the bulls can be criminally punishable. This must be remembered.

There is also such a category as observers. They look at bullying, but do nothing. Such a policy costs dear victims, but in the soul of the observer everything also turns over. After all, his conscience is dulling, and his inner voice retains indifference and there is no sympathy and compassion in it, because due to the protective reaction, these feelings are atrophy.