The husband beats: why women are silent about this, whether the wife is to blame - the reasons, the classification of the behavior of the aggressor. How to act if the husband beats: legal and psychological protection, contacts of crisis centers and trust telephones in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus

What to do to a woman if a husband beats her: to break a relationship and leave, forgive and stay? In this article we will talk about this topic.

Violence in the family - the husband beats: why are women silent?

Home violence is a tragedy that occurs behind closed doors. Unfortunately, this tragedy knows no boundaries. Beating, bullying, violence is committed by husbands over wives, parents over children, children over elderly relatives. The statistics are sad. It is known that such cases may end tragically for the victim.

Is it possible to somehow defend yourself from this aggression and cruelty? How to break out of this hell? There is an exit. The question is how decisively you are ready to act.

Everything happens in the family. Spouses can quarrel and put up. Misunderstandings happen in almost all families. However, the situation becomes critical when assault appears in the family.

When the husband raises his hand to his wife, this is terrible. Decent in appearance and quite prosperous families face such a problem when the husband is mocking his wife. Many women are simply silent and do not tell anyone about it.

This happens for various reasons:

1. They are afraid to break the beautiful picture of their family before parents, friends and relatives.
2. They are afraid of her husband, especially if he threatens reprisals.
3. They feel guilty of what happened and justify the offender in every possible way.
4. They want to save their family for the sake of children.

Only a few women are capable of punishing the offender according to merits. But still, the majority forgives her husband. Let it not forgive, but continues to be with him and be his wife.

If a woman forgives a man for assault, then she hopes that this will not happen again. That he will change. That life will improve, and everything will be fine. Will not.

Important: if you hit once, it may be an accident. Twice is already a pattern.

No wonder they say that if you hit once, then the second will hit. The first time it is always scary to beat a defenseless woman, since all people are scared to do something bad for the first time. The second time - it is already scary less. The third is just a little. And then like clockwork.

After the first blow, the situation changes irrevocably. It is like a threshold through which you cannot cross. The point of no return. A man can ask for forgiveness, stand on his knees and repent in his behavior. Or maybe not to be. Many tyrants accuse their wives of having merit.

There is a proverb: "The broken crow and is afraid of the bush." So a woman becomes helpless, incredulous, driven into a corner. Some develop the Stockholm syndrome.

There is a case in history when the offender took the bank employees hostage. But those in a few days of his stay in captivity were so attached to the tormentor that they subsequently hired him a lawyer. So a woman can find an excuse for her man, claiming that she was to blame. But acting in this way, a woman deceives herself.

Video: Home violence - what are women about silent about?

The husband beats - is it worth saving such a marriage for the sake of children?

It is especially terrible when the children see the beatings. A similar picture can cause a serious psychological trauma to children.

Important: Dear women! No need to try to save a marriage with a tyrant because of children. Your children do not need it.

Of course, children need both mom and dad. But the main condition is that there is love, mutual understanding and peace between the parents. If this is not, the child will only be worse.

Of the two evils, you need to choose the smaller one. And if the child regularly sees how dad beats his mother, it is better to live separately. If a man is a normal father, he will see his child later, provide him with financial assistance and participate in education.

For a child, it is important that both parents are happy. Then the child himself is happy. Even if parents simply quarrel and dissatisfied with each other, the child suffers, worries. But another thing is when the child sees beating. As above has already been said, the child can get a serious psychological trauma. This injury can bring a lot of troubles to the child, even when he becomes an adult.

• For a girl, this situation can serve as a signal that men need to be afraid. She will not be able to build normal relations with a normal man.
• Already an adult girl can choose a husband who will also spread her hands in the future.
• The boy can absorb a model of father's behavior. He can become an aggressor when he himself becomes an adult man.

To everything else, life in constant fear can provoke a decrease in immunity in a child, further frequent diseases. Think about whether children need this imaginary happiness in a full family. Do not kill and be afraid that the child will condemn you for depriving his family. Believe me, thanks for such a childhood, the child will definitely not say.

A normal psychologically healthy family environment is what children need.

Children of different ages experience different violence against their mother:

1. Children up to a year have not yet understood what happened.
2. Kids 3-5 years old simply experience fear and anxiety.
3. Children of primary school age begin to understand and regret their mother.
4. Teenagers experience such situations extremely painfully, keep resentment against their parents, want to take revenge on the offender, experience guilt.

The first question that a woman should ask herself: is such a situation, first of all, the calmness of the child. The answer is obvious.

Why does the husband beat his wife: the reasons for the aggressive behavior of a man

Completely different people come into marriage. They are loving, kind, open. Looking at the couple’s wedding photos, it’s hard to even imagine that the loving groom has become a tyrant and aggressor. That he allows himself to cause the physical and moral pain of the one that he loved. The one who led the aisle and promised to be in grief and joy.

What is the reason for such behavior:

1. Mental ill health. If a man beats his wife due to the fact that she cooked not such a porridge or because of a burnt scrambled eggs, there can be no discounts for accident. This suggests that a man has serious mental problems. You can notice this feature before marriage. If a young man shows aggression on trifles, the woman is intolerant of the small misses of a woman - this is a serious bell. But, as a rule, many look through pink glasses during the period of falling in love and do not want to see the flaws of the chosen one.
2. Dislike. If the couple has entered into marriage without much desire, nothing good will come of it. Maybe a woman became pregnant, or it was just time to get married, but the couples were not found. Sometimes it is not possible to adapt to each other, and a man expresses his hatred and dissatisfaction in such a vile way.
3. Jealousy. Some men are madly jealous of their wives. There is no need to give an occasion for this, inadequate jealousy arises from scratch. Because of this, a man may not let a woman go to work, not to let her girlfriends to meet with her girlfriends, to control her every step and exit home. In one of the attacks of unreasonable jealousy, a man can hit or seriously beat his wife.
4. Family traditions. If the spouse’s family was beatings, he can also follow the example of his father. Even if a person did not want to do this, a model of such behavior can come up from the subconscious and manifest itself at any moment of misunderstanding between the spouses.
5. Stress, accident. Difficulties at work, ailment, the inability to repay financial debts, dismissal, treason. Complex unusual situations can contribute to the manifestation of aggression in her husband. Old conflicts can worsen, claims are growing and a breakdown occurs. Sometimes a trifle is enough for a quarrel to take such an unpleasant turn as a blow to the face.

There may be many reasons why this happened. It is worth analyzing the situation. Understand what was the impetus. It is worth paying attention to how the husband reacts. If he did not want to, but the situation provoked, he will repent, blame himself, ask for forgiveness. It is important that he does it sincerely. The wife will always see whether her husband is sincere or not.

Think about what's wrong with your relationship. This situation was unexpected, or it arose in growing. How does the spouse behave in everyday life? Maybe he humiliates you, calls, morally presses you. If so, then a blow is a sign that you allowed him too much.

Important: they beat the person who allows this. If the husband constantly humiliates you, insults, depresses, do not be surprised if he once raises his hand.

Classification of aggressive male behavior

Tyrants can behave differently:

1. 20% of men who beat their wives can ignite like a match. They do not need a reason and warming up for a quarrel or fight. They beat immediately, while doing it calmly and calmly. Thus, they discourage their victim, leave it in a confused and depressed state.
2. 80% of male tyrants behave like embittered dogs. They are angry with increasing and attacking as a result. In such families, the wife is in constant tension, watches her every step and is afraid of her husband’s discontent, does not want to predict him.

Could the wife be to blame for the husband hit?

It is worth noting that a man may not always be to blame for the fight. Sometimes a woman herself provokes a fight and receives for it.

• The man fights off. If a woman rushes at him with a frying pan or other objects, he can protect herself. In this case, we can say that the man is not to blame. There are women who can be the first to show aggression and behave inappropriately. A woman can be drunk or just have a quick -tempered character warehouse. In such situations, a man perceives a woman as an enemy. She behaved like a man, received the same way.
• If she constantly saws unreasonably and does not give life. If the husband has problems at work, financial difficulties or other difficulties, and the wife at the same time in vainly and regularly saws, insults, humiliates. A rare case when a man withstands such an appeal. At the time of the next quarrel, he may not restrain himself and hit.
• It provokes her husband to a fight. There is a type of women for whom a fight is a psychological game. First, she brings her husband to the limit of patience, all kinds of ways provokes him to a fight, and then includes the regime of the victim. And he receives everything he wants from a husband who feels guilty. As a result of quarrels, relationships, sex, game continues. Such women like their life, do not regret them and dissuade them.

Important: there are women with very low self -esteem who allow themselves to beat. Husbands always beat such. No matter how sad it is.

If a man strikes a woman once undeservedly and she will immediately forgive him, he will hit again. But if a woman gives a strong, powerful rebuff to her husband in the form of legal punishment, leaves him, then he will understand that he is dealing with a strong woman who cannot be beaten.

What to do if the husband beats: protection by law

If you do not want to put up with such a state of things, you have the right to defense. Remember this and never be afraid of your husband’s further reprisal.

Step -by -step actions if the husband beats:

1. First of all, call the police. Just dial 102 and tell about what happened, then your appeal will be transferred to the site.
2. Wait for the police arrival. If your husband drove you out, expect your neighbors or near the entrance. But do not leave home.
3. When the police arrive, describe the situation as calmly as possible. The police will invite you to draw up a written statement in which you describe the situation as clearly as possible.
4. Then it is necessary to “remove the beatings”, that is, to fix the inflicted bodily injuries in a medical institution. To do this, contact the sanitary inspection room, to the clinic or to the first -aid post. You will be given a certificate, which will then need to be attached to the criminal case.
5. After that, the original certificate is transferred to the police, and make a copy to yourself.
6. Further, the police launch your business.

Important: you can pick up a statement from the police. Many women do so, do not finish the matter. And in vain. It is worth punishing the offender so that next time he thinks about the consequences and does not open his hands.

If there is no way to call the police, immediately after the beatings, contact a medical institution. Then go to the police with a certificate and write a statement.

The court is taken by the court. It can be:

• Conditional term.
• Imprisonment for 15 days.
• The fine and payment of material damage to the injured person.

Causing health harm can be divided into three groups. Depending on the degree, the court will impose a measure of punishment:

1. Light bodily harm. A woman has a slight malaise, bruises, abrasions, bruises.
2. Middle bodily harm. This includes a concussion, harm to medium severity. A woman loses their ability to work and needs hospitalization for 21 days.
3. Severe bodily harm. Fractures of bones and skull, bruise of the brain.

Important: even if you have no bruises and bruises on your body, you can call the police as a result of family violence. You can prove the fact of violence if there are witnesses. Your child who has reached the age of 10 may be a witness.

Witnesses can also be neighbors. If quarrels occur in the family, screams in the vast majority of cases are heard by neighbors.

Do not forget that without a written statement, the police will not take any measures except a conversation with the spouse. If you decide to punish the offender, write a statement.

If you are not guilty, the aggressor must answer for his actions. You will protect yourself in the future with your actions. Even if you decide to make peace with your husband after some time, he will remember this lesson for a long time.

Video: How to save yourself from domestic violence?

What to do if the husband beats: solutions to the problem, psychological assistance

When the husband beats constantly or hit for the first time, but you do not want to put up with this situation, the solution is one to leave.

If you can stay in your house with children, and let your spouse leave and leave you alone.

But often housing belongs to the spouse, and the woman is forced to either accept this situation because of shelter over her head, or go nowhere.

Where to go:

• Well, if there are parents who will accept you with children. For some time you can live with them.
• Go to your friends if they are ready to accept you.
• Look for a room or apartment that you rent for further residence.
• Contact the centers to protect women and children, if you have nowhere to go. There you will be highlighted by a bed-month and provide psychological assistance. Do not think that there are dysfunctional women in such centers. Believe me, there are a lot of normal women who have fallen into a similar difficult situation.

Keep your passport with you, the birth certificate of the child and the marriage certificate. Do not forget the other documents you need, for example, a diploma of education, a medical card. You can not get to your house soon. Or you will not get there at all. If the situation is not the first time and the husband threatens to select documents, keep with you notarized copies of the passport, birth certificate.

Collect the most necessary things: jewelry, laptop, smartphone, linen, towel, toothbrush, things for the first time.

Important: women in the East always go with a huge number of jewelry. This is not just a tradition or fashion. If a man gives a woman “Talak”, she has the right to leave in her jewelry. Thanks to them, she will be able to survive.

Very important, so that you have money. Always have a sum that you may need in a difficult situation in reserve.

• If your husband is a completely inadequate and aggressive tyrant, despot, go quietly. Wait until he is at home or he will fall asleep, quickly leave the house. In the first store, buy a new SIM card, throw the old one. Buy a ticket and leave for parents if they are in another city.
• If there are no parents, seek help from other close relatives. If they are good people, they will not refuse you.
• Later, you can find a job and begin to provide yourself to yourself if you have previously depended on your husband financially.

Remember that your husband can try to return you in different ways: aggression, threats, world. If you have decided everything firmly, do not be afraid and do not give up.

Important: getting rid of a tyrant, you will face difficulties. But these difficulties are the path to a better life. You will become a free person, self -respecting a woman, over time, a real loving man.

Let your salary and income be small. It is better to live in poverty than to endure constant humiliation. Later or immediately you can file for divorce, your husband will be appointed to pay you child support. Or maybe you will agree with him in a good way about material assistance for children.

If you think that the offender will pursue you and mock you, know that many of them are blown away at the stage of statements to the police. Many of them are only at home too bold and decisive.

If you do not know what to do next and it stops you, the solution to the problem will become obviously a few days after leaving. If you are a normal person, then you will not stay on the street, you can find a job and feed yourself and children. You are not the only one, many women go this difficult path.

Many celebrities came across this, but they were able to survive the tragic decay of marriage and rose to the heights of glory, achieved success.

• Writer Joanne Rowling was a victim of domestic violence.
• Margaret Mitchell, the author of the famous novel “Rented by the Wind” for many years kept a gun with me in case of protection from my ex -husband.
• Tina Turner She fled from her husband just on a concert tour.
• Singer Valeria For a long time she lived with her husband. Subsequently, she openly said that she managed to survive.
• Singer Jasmine For a long time she was silent that her husband was brutally beaten.

If you have to experience such stress, try not to plunge into it with your head, help yourself or consult a psychologist.

As soon as your position is tired, let yourself:

1. A walk with a friend. Do not drink a lot of alcohol, it will only aggravate the situation. You can a little to relieve stress.
2. If there is money, update the wardrobe, buy a new thing that will bring joy.
3. More often walk in nature. Let her give you reassurance and new forces.
4. Look good films. But not melodramas that will bring you to tears.
5. Do not let go all the hard, this is fraught with a very bitter aftertaste of disappointment and emptiness.
6. Contact the psychologistwhich will help to understand yourself and your problems.

Do not blame yourself for what happened, house violence cannot be justified and you should not do it. If you endure it for a long time, you can only lose your precious time. Why do you need your only better life to spend on such a negative? You are worthy of a better life.

Important information in family violence: Contacts of crisis centers in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus

Important: If you are a victim of domestic violence, you have the right to free legal assistance.

To do this, you need to contact the social protection authorities. If they refuse you, ask for a written explanation. You are obliged to provide a lawyer who will explain the situation incomprehensible to you.

• Hereyou can see the contacts of crisis centers and trust phone numbers in Russia.
• Hereyou can see the contacts of crisis centers and trust phone numbers in Ukraine.
• Hereyou can see the contacts of crisis centers and trust phone numbers in Belarus.

What else is important to know when beating in the family:

1. Photograph bodily harmYou may need evidence in court.
2. Do not be silent. Do not be ashamed to talk about the beatings of the neighbors, they can witness and act in your defense.
3. Preservation of your life and the life of children - This is the most important thing that is worth remembering in a critical situation.
4. Do not be afraid. Punishment is real. There is always a way out and not one.

Dear women, do not go to the persuasion of a tyrant and aggressor. No fur coats and flowers will be able to give you confidence and calmness in the last day. If you decide to forgive the offender, make a balanced decision. If the situation occurred for the first time and, indeed, random - it is worth giving a chance. But if you were constantly subjected to moral humiliation, you know insults, you are dealing with a real tyrant. Do not be afraid to break unhealthy relationships, they have never brought any benefit to anyone.

We wish you never to fall into such situations and live your life with a worthy, loving and affectionate man. We wish you to feel “behind your husband”, as behind a stone wall.

Video: Beating in the family - to endure or leave?