Anti -city - about the main disadvantages of each zodiac sign. Comic horoscope by zodiac signs

A comic horoscope with humor for all zodiac signs.

Content

In almost all horoscopes, the negative aspects of the zodiac signs are very gently and carefully described. Our comic horoscope exaggerates and ridicules shortcomings, improves mood.

Anti -city, comic horoscope of Aries

Aries are incredible personalities with which a place is in a psychiatric hospital. Such a person thinks that he is the most important actor in the theater, and everyone else is the scenery. It is very difficult to live with this person, such people need to erect a monument during life. Aries, carries everything that will embroider in his head, and is not at all aware of any cultural principles. He does not know anything about upbringing, as if he lived among animals. True, sometimes he is very repented in his deed, often asks for forgiveness. In the phrases you can hear "sorry", "the demon was guarded", "was wrong."

Anti -city, comic horoscope of Aries:

Aries does not have a sense of humor, but still this person is trying to joke, waiting for the reaction of others. He laughs and waits for the rest to begin to react to his jokes. Aries always puts his interests in the first place, above everyone else. It is not tolerant, there is also no tact.
If something happens and happens, then you need to suffer with it. He is constantly looking for a victim that you can cry on his shoulder, and tell about his failures. This personality is fixed on his own problems, and loves to talk exclusively about himself. Their mouth does not close, so it makes no sense to interrupt. This person lives real, thinking little about the past and future.
They say that people study on other people's mistakes, but Aries does not study either by strangers or their own. He hates competitors, so he blows everything in his path, is ready to move along the corpses. Despite all the courage, and cynical, temperature 37 immediately seems terrible ailment, which will necessarily bring it to the grave. For this person, surgeons, as well as dentists- this is Terrible sadists.
Often trigger diseases to an emergency state. Despite their recklessness, and a quick -tempered character, they quickly depart, so they apologize to people, trying to correct their mistakes. Aries is not empty, but loves to chat about himself, as well as put dust in the eyes to seem better than it really is. It is very simple to win its location, just to spread a few compliments.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Taurus

Taurus is a prudent goat who knows what he does. In ordinary life, Taurus are not large sizes, despite this, it is difficult to move them out of place, due to stubbornness and life philosophy.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Taurus:

This is a person who is in no hurry and prefers once again to sit still, smoke, observe the situation, and only then act. This personality is terrible in anger, it is very difficult to get it out of balance, but at the same time it is ready to demolish everything in its path.
He likes to wipe the ass on the couch, pull it out for a holiday or party - a real feat. He is inclined to diseases, due to the fact that he leads a sedentary lifestyle. He does not believe anyone, including doctors, which is why he often triggers.
A person who has achieved great success in his career is something amazing and unusual for Taurus, one can say authority. Taurus is very devoted to love, but it is very difficult to achieve a divorce and rupture of relations from him, if suddenly the second half does not want to live with him. This person is almost impossible to dissect and attract to responsible actions.
It is very slow, so everyone around them sometimes in horror and nervous confusion, because they did not plan to get together for so long. In order for Taurus to confess love, it is necessary to accomplish a real feat, and to tear the star from the sky. This is a very complex person, heavy on the rise.
I love to eat very much. If Taurus jokes, be prepared that he will splash a bucket of dirt on you, as he prefers a strong word, not ashamed of obsceneity. Laughing for a long time at the old joke, which he himself told. At the same time, not paying any attention to other spectators, and people who look at him in bewilderment.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Gemini

Gemini is a frivolous person who has no idea that behaves like an idiot. Representatives of this sign are very fussy and frivolous. They flicker for any reason, with a frequent change of mood.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Gemini:

Often late, even for his own wedding or funeral. Any trifle can distract them, so they often forget where they went and why. They love to argue and participate in discussion.
Often do not noticeably change their own point of view. In order to drive some information into the head of this personality, it is necessary to work hard, because they are restless inattentive. Very slippery, so they are able to get out of any situation.
They are not ready to admit their own mistakes, so they often change their opinion, trying to slip away from responsibility. It is very difficult to press them against the wall, because they are ready to argue and get out endlessly.
He loves gossip and rumors, often washing the bones to his neighbors, work for work. He cooles very quickly to work, so often changes it. It is very difficult to find twins at work, where they work for a long period of time. They love to spend money, and they themselves do not understand where they go. They love to brag and exaggerate very much. They love tricks, so often make good shules and pickpockets. They love to steal from nature, this is for them as a game, entertainment.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Cancer

Cancer is a cunning person who has been accumulating muck and is not ready to admit it. Can circle anyone around a finger. This personality is very simple to offend, but you should not do this, otherwise everything around will flood with its snot. It can catch up with depression on everyone around, even in a radius of several kilometers.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Cancer:

Also, you should not do this because cancer does not remember grievances, but records, so often takes revenge. It can be silent for weeks, thereby sending damage and angry views on a person. Often changes the mood, then cheerful, then sad. Often it is insanely angry, poisoning everything around.
Air is poisoned from one breath, everyone around can become infected with despondency and anger. Winding, can spend a lot of money. He hates the old things, so in the closet a bunch of unnecessary trash.
I got used to the fact that in love a person belongs exclusively to him, and he is the main thing in life. He likes to collect unnecessary things, but not because greedy, but for a rainy day. If we take into account its reserves, these black days should occur every day.
He can have a whole warehouse of canned food, soups, as well as quick -cooking. He loves to eat very much, which often causes excess weight and digestive problems. This cunning will not eat vegetable salad and healthy soups. He likes fatty chops, as well as dumplings floating in oil.

Anti -city, comic horoscope lion

Leo is a narcissistic personality. After all, he is the king of animals, and the rest of the bees that are confused underfoot. This person is used to rejoice all the time, and have fun. Therefore, loves sensual pleasures, as well as be in the spotlight. That is why it spends much more than it earns.

Anti -city, comic horoscope:

In politics, lions are very strong, but stalls for flattery, which is why they make many mistakes. It can illegally steal money at work, thereby improving the financial situation. He considers himself a navel of the Earth, and requires respect for.
In no case should you poke in his presence, and indicate shortcomings. Otherwise, this cat will turn into a formidable beast with fangs and claws. Often, managers are endowed, endowed with organizational abilities.
He does not tolerate any disagreements, and the refusal to fulfill the assignment is a personal insult. The subordinate is afraid of Lviv as fire, due to the fact that they are angry and tactless. They constantly keep people under control, sometimes leaving them from themselves.
No matter how sad it is, the intelligence of Lviv is modest, but at the same time considers itself the smartest and can tell stories about his mental abilities.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Virgo

Virgin is an vindictive individual that records everyone who offended it. If someone crossed her path, he will definitely receive a shot in the forehead. These are terrible bores and cleanlies that bring everyone to horror.

Anti -city, comic horoscope:

If you took something from this lady, be sure to put in place, otherwise they will take out the brain and bury. Any uncovered tube of toothpaste, as well as crumbs left on the table, will make you hear a huge amount of useful information.
Virgo quickly spoils the mood if her child on the way to school or guests, fell, got dirty. They are very conservative and not restrained.
Cowardly, so they rarely get out of their cones and tell people about who they really are. They love money, often put them in a jar.

Anti -city, joke horoscope Libra

Libra is a cowardly individual that ranks first among all vile people. This is an immoral creature that loves lies and slander. It is very difficult to rely on this sign, because they are not entirely confident in themselves and constantly change behavior.

Anti -city, comic horoscope:

In women, you can often see men's features, and in men female. In fact, they are very cruel, and representatives of sexual minorities are often found among them. Behind the brutal appearance of the scales, sheep's soul is often hidden.
Very capricious and nervous, often infect with their depression others. The mood often changes, melancholy and inhibition are often manifested. They are prone to crying, but if they need, it is very kind and diplomatic.
They love to eat and drink tightly. Often encounter health problems because of their love of drinking. Love is a real battlefield. The most famous womanizers, and when a new skirt appears with long, beautiful legs, without a twinge of conscience, abandon their family and even children.
They love to reason very much, they often cannot decide. When it is required to make an important decision, hesitate for a long time and let everything on its own. Children for Libra - a field for experiments. Concepts do not have how to educate children, so the first child is allowed everything, and the second baby will sit in the cage.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Scorpio

Scorpio is a fundamental person who loves to violate prohibitions. He considers himself the most fair in the world. There is a tendency to power influences, loves to dissolve hands.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Scorpio:

For this reason, it often grabbed the full program, followed by a vacation in intensive care. Often nervous, loves to express his opinion, which is why he receives on the head.
Lthe anniversary to carry out bad deeds and captivate women. If the victim will hang his ears, then Scorpio will very quickly drag it into his lair, he will be sturred.
He does not like to smile, is often in a bad mood and is malicious. Bold and impulsive, faces injuries. This is a leader among all other zodiac signs with fractures and traumatic brain injuries.

Anti -city, comic horoscope of Sagittarius

Sagittarius is the most scandalous personality, a bazaar woman. He loves to eat, go to parties and smile endlessly. He loves humor, everyone amuses everyone.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Sagittarius:

Sometimes it becomes a jester Gorokhov for all others. Friendship with this person can lead to a journey from the very top of society, to the bottom. Very generous, loves to spend money, doizing his family on hunger.
Often in divorce, without a wife and children. It is not clear to him what sadness and experiences are, because the world is a real theater. He is interested in everything, does not know what to do, so he experimentes. He is seriously subordinate to the authorities, as he considers himself the most intelligent, educated and competent.
But if he becomes a leader, he can quickly lose his position, because of his generosity, and recklessness. He immediately does, and then thinks.

Anti -city, comic horoscope Capricorn

Capricorn is a stubborn and limited individual. He is very greedy, and believes that the most intelligent. Greed is the main problem of Capricorns, they are not ready to give a penny even the most expensive people.

Anti -city, joke horoscope Capricorn:

He is a serious bureaucrat, his life is painted in a minute. He does not like when they object to him, and they overtake. Very tough and stubborn. Capricorn's beloved woman is a person who needs to erect a monument during life.
His companion often becomes a dream for any man, as she is ready to obey any whims. If the lady is not ready to be a slave, Capricorn goes without a twinge of conscience. He does not care about the feelings of other people.
This is a sign that most often uses marriage by calculation. In general, this personality is very inventive, and smart. Often from other people's ideas makes his own inventions, earning a lot of money on this. Pedantically educates children, which makes them neurasthenians. They feel guilty for any actions that they have not even done.

Anti -city, comic horoscope of Aquarius

Aquarius is the most cynical person. He makes nasty things not out of revenge, but to laugh and have fun. Very extravagant, loves shocking antics. He doesn’t care that something terrible could happen because of his actions.

Anti -city, comic horoscope:

This is one of the worst partners for life. He never belongs to one person, loves to go from one woman to another. For him, all the former are garbage that you should not think about. Very cynical, and he does not care about the norms of decency.
It can communicate with anyone, choosing the keys to any castle. He is capable of adding to a very strict leader, he doesn’t care about the norms of decency, just to get to the bottom of the bottom. He does not like courtship, very straightforward.
He may ask whether the lady is Frigid, and how many orgasms he experiences for sexual intercourse. These are very smart individuals from which talented geniuses are obtained. It does not make plans, so everything turns out at random.
It doesn’t matter to him that the invention will turn out, the main thing is the process itself brings pleasure and satisfaction. Among the inhabitants of the psychiatric agents are most of the Aquarius. If you do not keep your word, you will be shot and bury in the backyard.

Anti -city, comic horoscope of fish

Fish is an indifferent person who closes the door if he hears the screams “help”. Very soft -bodied and uninitiated. Inherent cowardice, as well as a tendency to deception. Spineless, cannot resist, you have to go with the flow.

Anti -city, comic horoscope of fish:

Often, they get good sneaks that achieve success in life. The saddest thing, even if they become leaders, will quickly let everyone down, are not able to make responsible decisions.
They look at people through purple glasses, the world seems much more colorful to them than it really is. It is almost impossible to reach this fish. One gets the impression that it is constantly under the influence of prohibited substances.
The fish men are very talkative, the mouth never closes, even when they sleep. Very often drawn to calm, though they do it well. Something like a black square. The main advantage is a sense of humor. They are able to make fun very subtly, but at the same time not to offend anyone.

Do not accept this horoscope to heart, it only makes fun of some character traits of the zodiac signs. The author of the article did not try to offend anyone.