To give birth to a child from a married one: will he leave the family where to find support - fears and doubts, advice. Give birth to a child from a married one: should a man participate in the life of the baby?

If you decide to give birth to a child from a married man, then there is a question about many life aspects. They will be discussed in this article.

Content

In our world, it often happens that a woman, not wanting it, is in a very close relationship with a married man. No one is safe from this - after all, there is love at first sight, and did not tell the truth about relations with his wife. And yet, of course, men love to ravish saying that “they sleep with their wife in different rooms”, “she took me out” and the like, pressing lies on our pity. And when we fall in love and over time, we also get used to his beloved man to part.

If you have not yet become pregnant and consciously reflect on to give birth to a child from a married man, we hope that our article will help you.

Give birth to a child from a married one: will he leave the family?

Situations are different. For some, the age is squeezing and must give birth, someone initially did not want to break the family, but the baby wants, and someone just became pregnant by negligence, and does not want to do abortion. And perhaps your lover persuades you to give birth to a common child?

To judge what is good and what we will not be bad - each has its own life and fate. But we can collect a couple of useful tips for you. Moreover, the network is full of bile to such stories and finding something constructive among it is very difficult.

If you are one of those naive girls who think that if their lover has not left the family before the child appears, then with the advent of the child everything will change - forget it. According to statistics, only three men get divorced and go to their mistress, and from them - only one attempt to return back to the family shortly after that.
Even if the man you meet now say that he wants a child from you and will support you in every way - you need to be prepared for the fact that he will simply disappear from your life when you get pregnant. And ready not only morally, but also, if possible, financially.
That is, deciding give birth to a child from a married Men, be prepared for the fact that you will be left alone. With his support or without, it depends only on the spiritual wealth (or poverty) of your chosen one, but, unfortunately, it so happened that our men whimper on the spiritual and noble impulses.
If you have already become pregnant or you still decided on pregnancy, and he divorced - This is one story. Not ours. Simply - happiness to you!

If you understand that he will not divorce or you are already pregnant and he left you - let's understand what to do next.

Give birth to a child from a married one: difficulties and fears

The first difficulties faced by a woman who decided give birth to a child from a married Men begin with the first test and recognition. Be prepared for an unpleasant reaction of your lover, attempts to make you go to abortion and, in the end, for a break. Even highly intelligent men, realizing that they risk being exposed, and also lose the convenient position for them to which they are used to, can forget about education.

So, for subsequent tests, payment of the apartment (if it is not yours), preservation (God forbid, but different ones happen) and other needs of the future mother and baby will have to earn and postpone yourself. Of course, there are still relatives, but in our society it is not entirely clear how they will react to the news about the baby from a married man.
Women who decided to raise a child can independently count, mainly only on themselves.
It will be difficult and moral-to look at the couples walking with pregnant women or with a stroller, at the happy faces of the husbands who come to the hospital to their wives or take them from the hospital, to dads who bring babies to the kindergarten or play with them somewhere on the site.
There will be fears-to somehow be left alone, not cope, fears for himself and the baby.
And the most difficult thing in this is, rather, not the material side, but a feeling of loneliness. But, as soon as your baby is born, you will never be alone. And many single mothers claim that the first meeting with the child forever made their life happy. Probably, the birth of the baby in itself is the largest and most important plus, which will block all the disadvantages of the situation.

Give birth to a child from a married one: should a man participate in the life of the baby?

Nobody can answer you unambiguously to this question. On the one hand, the baby needs a father, and on the other hand, you may not be morally ready to see this person next to you if you parted on a negative note. Wait a while, let a storm of emotions and resentments settle. And then, of course, you should think about letting the child get to know dad.

The health of the baby

This is what you should worry about in advance. Since you cannot be sure whether the man you give will want to take part in your life, it is important before you part, and even better before pregnancy, find out about all the diseases that were in the family of your beloved. And, ideally, the history of three generation diseases. Be sure to write down all the information collected somewhere, perhaps later, when you need it when you make a medical card of crumbs or in some extreme situations, you will not have a desire to call or write the baby’s father.

Legal issue

With the birth of a baby, a mother may have a huge number of questions. For example, whether it is worth making a lover to recognize paternity or simply write down that the baby does not have a father.

Probably, in order to answer this question, you need to understand what you expect from the fact that you make him recognize his paternity (or perhaps he himself recognizes him)? Material assistance? Alimony? The name of a man who did not stay with you and your child?
Look at this on the other hand - if a man wants to support you financially, he will do this in the amount much larger than alimony. And if he does not want to pay alimony, he will find a thousand ways not to do this, and the amount of alimony is too scanty to constantly submit statements and achieve them.
In addition, if he recognizes paternity, you will have a huge amount of headache in the form of permits for various procedures that you have to take from your father, while constantly in contact with him. This is the most common - consent to the removal of a child abroad. It cannot be issued once and for life - each time you go on vacation with the baby you will have to ask him from your father and notarize him. Both permission to discharge the child from the apartment, and to obtain an insert about the citizenship of the baby, needs his father's documents.
Or another situation - you will find the beautiful person you love, and who will love you and your baby (and this is undoubtedly, will certainly happen). And he wants to adopt your child. But, unfortunately, this is impossible without the official refusal of the father of the child. In general, until the eighteen of the child, there may be a lot of situations in which you will have to contact your father for appropriate permits.

In this situation, lawyers consider it an ideal option to give their last name and draw up a certificate in the relevant authorities that the baby has no father. Pride, of course, will be infringed, but help from the state as a single mother will receive, and you can independently dispose of the life of your baby, without rubing your nerves with paperwork.

Give birth to a child from a married one: where to find support?

In a difficult situation in which you will undoubtedly need moral support.

If you have a good relationship with your parents, and they share your decision give birth to a child from a married And they will not add oils into the fire to your, until the faded feelings and experiences - the best option would be to go for the duration of pregnancy and the first months with the baby to them, or call them to visit.
Unfortunately, your situation is aggravated by the fact that friends and society as a whole may not show enough sympathy for a woman who decided to give birth to a married man. Your employees and friends are quite enough that you are a single mother. You do not need to tell your story to everyone in a row - you can tell the closest to the closest ones, in whose unconditional help and support you are confident.
If you do not want to hear a sea of \u200b\u200bnasty things in your direction-do not look for support in women's forums, there you will find only a large number of embittered and limited women who will be happy to pour a bucket or two of their bile on you.

Keep a diary. He will help you not only get rid of sad thoughts - over time, it is pleasant to re -read and understand how your feelings changed and how your joys and achievements multiplied. In addition, he will not tell anyone and will not make you and the baby the main gossip of the year.

Give birth to a child from a married one: tips

Below we will give some tips from women who have fallen into the situation that we consider in this article.

Natasha, 34 years old, son Alexander 2 years old:“There is no need to refuse if your baby is trying to help you in small household chores. Thus, you will play together, and the stress that you do everything yourself, and bring up a good habit in the child! ”
Dana, 30 years old, daughter Alenka 1.5 years:“No matter what - believe in good. If you dream of something, everything will come true! "
Alina, 21 years old, pregnant for 25 weeks:“Try not to be left alone. If you understand what is covered by depression - turn on music, dance, call friends. Think about how much good in your position! Everything that is done is done for the better. It’s good that he left and will not become your husband and will not flutter your nerves! And love - she will definitely come! And it will be mutual. "
Anna, 32 years old, daughter Yulia 8 months:“If you understand that the circumstances are formed so that you will be an independent mother - throw away tears and depression and do everything so that you and the baby have a good material base.”

And finally - if you read the stories of mothers on the Internet, you will understand that none of them regrets their choice. It is not particularly important from whom the child - coming into our life, he gives joy and ray of hope.