I do not like, I hate the mother -in -law, we live together: what to do - the advice of a psychologist, the attitude of Islam. How to establish relationships with mother -in -law?

I do not like, I hate the mother -in -law, we live together: what to do - the advice of a psychologist, the attitude of Islam. How to establish relationships with mother -in -law?

How to overcome hatred for mother -in -law?

The relationship between mother -in -law and daughter -in -law often does not develop very well. This is especially happening if women feel competitors. In this article we will tell you how to establish relations with the mother -in -law.  

Why doesn't the mother -in -law like a daughter -in -law?

Initially, many women note that they feel hostility from the mother -in -law from the very beginning. This is really quite possible and occurs for some reason:  

  • The mother -in -law considers his rival to the daughter -in -law  
  • The mother -in -law expects that with the arrival of the daughter -in -law, the son will begin to devote much less time to her  

It is these reasons that the mother -in -law is poorly related to their daughter -in -law, and in the blue they come up with what they should not be loved for. Quite often, they also come up with that the daughter -in -law of the slut, not economic, does not want to cook, and does not follow children well. Many psychologists note that establishing relations between mother -in -law and daughter -in -law is a job for two.

The mother -in -law hates her daughter -in -law
The mother -in -law hates her daughter -in -law

I hate mother -in -law: Psychologist's advice

In most cases, you can hear that the daughter -in -law hates her mother -in -law. This is due to the fact that an elderly woman is constantly climbing into the relationship of a young family. In fact, this really happens quite often. This is due to the fact that, according to the mother -in -law, she has the right to watch her son with a new woman settled.

Features of relations:

  • Indeed, she gave her child 30 years old, and now she does not want to give her son in his hands. Your task is to prove that you are the best, and are not going to compete with it. For this, try to speak compliments more often. Even if this is not the case. However, there is no need to do this with a crafty look, so that it is noticeable that you are cheating and saying a lie. Fraternity is not the best option.
  • Try to make it look natural. Mark that you like a new hairstyle, or prepared coffee. Also at all family holidays that you are present at, constantly praise your mother -in -law and say that it has the most delicious dishes. In no case should you discuss with the mother -in -law of her son, and thicken the colors. That is, any negative word in the direction and son, suggests that she is a bad mother.  
  • Try to only cover your husband from the positive side, and tell the mother -in -law, complimenting that she raised a good son. Any woman will be pleased to hear it.  
  • Try to consider all the wishes of the mother -in -law. Indeed, the opinion of adults can differ from your attitude to everything that happens, their lives in general. But still it is worth trying to find a common language.
The war between women
The war between women

I hate the mother -in -law, we live together: what to do?

It is very bad if you live with your mother -in -law in the same house. Most often, in this case, problems, inconsistencies, as well as disagreements between mother -in -law and daughter -in -law arise. After all, the wife, working 6 days a week, may want to relax at the weekend, watch a few episodes of the beloved series. However, if the house has a mother -in -law, she may consider that her daughter -in -law lazy, is not a mistress.

I hate the mother -in -law - how to outwit:

  • Accordingly, very often in such cases, a woman, tired at work, has to engage in housekeeping at the weekend, rub everything to shine and wash things. Of course, not everyone can like it, but there is nothing to be done here. If you want to establish relationships with your mother -in -law, try to make the house really clean and comfortable. If you live with your husband without mother -in -law, you can afford to be too lazy, but this one cannot do this with your husband’s mother.  
  • If you still want to relax, come up with some important event, and just leave the house. That is, now you will have to relax with your friends, or in a sport bar, watching events in the sports world. You can just go to the cinema. This will be an excellent pastime, while the mother -in -law does not consider that you are a slut, or a lazy woman.
  • Just do not rush to tell the woman that you went to the cinema. Come up with something, say that you visit your mother, or do some important public business at work. That is, a woman should assume that you are really very much busy with something, and therefore you cannot spend time at home and clean, as well as cooking.  
Bad relationships
Bad relationships

I do not like mother -in -law - what to do?

I hate the mother -in -law - tips:

  • Of course, it is best to do all things as they arise. That is, if you have gathered a basket with washing, do not postpone it until better times. It is best to wash these things until there are many.
  • Try to collect things once a week and ask your husband, as well as mother -in -law that you need to wash. Thus, you will save washing powder, and you will look much better in the eyes of the mother -in -law. Constantly try to watch videos and cook something new, tasty.
  • The main task is to praise you with your husband. But only after that it is worth saying that, for example, Veronika Ivanovna cooks this dish much better. Or note that nothing can compare with her cabbage rolls. Indeed, in this case, the mother -in -law will see that the husband is satisfied with your dish, it is quite tasty, but you are in no case trying to compete with it.
  • That is, you initially affirm its advantage, and the fact that she cooks much better than you. This is by no means true, but it will allow you to establish relations with the mother -in -law. She should be sure that no one is competing with her, and does not try to move to second place.  
Scandal with my husband
Scandal with my husband

I hate the mother -in -law: the point of view of Islam

Islam in relation to women is quite categorical, including her husband's relatives. In this religion, a woman should really be quiet, calm, and obey all her husband’s desires, as well as his relatives.

I hate the mother -in -law - Features of the relationship:

  • Accordingly, the wife has no right not to obey the mother -in -law or father -in -law. As soon as a woman gets married, according to the Islamic traditions of the father -in -law and mother -in -law they replace her native parents, and she should treat them just like her relatives.
  • They must be respected, and take care. Of course, everything has its own measure, so no one demands to spend all 24 hours a day with their mother -in -law and please it. After all, a woman in the family has a lot of responsibilities that concern her husband, as well as children.
  • In fact, a woman should try to communicate well with the mother -in -law. However, it often happens that the mother -in -law itself does not want any close communication, and considers the choice wrong. Often the mother -in -law wants more care to be served.
  • However, Islam exactly establishes the rules, so no one requires the daughter -in -law to serve the beets and mother -in -law. Indeed, a woman should pay attention to them, and if they need help, then help them. However, she is not obliged to fulfill all whims.  
A good relationship
A good relationship

I hate my mother -in -law and husband, for his support

The situation is much sadder if the man is on the side of his mother, and she tunes him against the daughter -in -law.

Adviсe:

  • In this case, it is advisable for you to talk with your mother -in -law face to face and find out the reason for her dislike. Try to talk, and explain the mother -in -law that you do not seek to take her place and are not a competitor for her. Even if you hear in your direction some reproaches, and unpleasant words, try not to react, but to treat everything that is as calm as possible.
  • It is advisable, of course, to close your eyes and suppress aggression in yourself. Perhaps a good attitude to the mother -in -law will correct her attitude towards you, and you will find a common language. However, if the situation lasts quite a long time, then often a woman does not withstand and simply explodes. In this case, divorce is inevitable.  
  • Many daughter -in -law are trying to set up their husband against the mother -in -law. However, keep in mind that in most cases a failure awaits you. This is due to the fact that the husband has one mother, and the wife can be changed. It is on this principle that most men live.
  • Indeed, no matter how he loves his wife, his mother will never betray. Accordingly, no one will withstand your quarrels with a mother -in -law for a long time. Therefore, if you want and are tuned to live with your husband for a long time, you will have to build relationships with his parents. No matter how terrible, and nasty, there was a mother -in -law, you still have to make peace with her, and hide your hatred.  
  • In most cases, during a quarrel with a mother -in -law, the husband takes neutrality. And this is one of the favorable options, because some men really take the side of their mother. Almost none of the men takes the side of his wife. Consider this, and do not think that you are special. Try to find a common language and establish a relationship.  
Bad relationships
Bad relationships

I hate the mother -in -law: causes of conflicts

Many women are outraged that the mother -in -law is not at all the same to the management of households and everyday life as modern youth. This is really so, because before there were different times, when there were no large number of fast restaurants of fast kitchen, home food, as well as household appliances that help in cleaning, cooking.

Causes:

  • Accordingly, at that time, women are accustomed to work more, and devote a lot of time to the household. That is why another rhythm of life of the modern generation can really irritate and upset the mother -in -law. This is due not only to the daughter -in -law specifically, but in general with the whole generation as a whole. Because girls aged 20-30 years are accustomed to the fact that there are washing machines, kitchen combines, as well as oven, bread makers, and microwaves.
  • Accordingly, now preparing a very tasty dinner is much easier than then. Therefore, mother -in -law is perplexed why the woman prefers not to cook, but to feed her son with semi -finished products, or food ordered from the restaurant.  
  • However, earlier working conditions were slightly different than now. In most cases, everyone worked at state -owned enterprises, where they understood young parents, making various concessions. Previously, a woman could really go to sick leave more often, because she was behind her lawyers and a trade union.
  • Now there are a very small number of state companies. Therefore, many women work in private enterprises that value performance, constancy, and discipline. Accordingly, no one accepts early departure from work, late, or frequent sick leave.
  • It is necessary to explain the mother -in -law that you need to work for the maintenance of the family, and from morning to evening. That is why you cannot, due to the fact that you are very tired, constantly pamper your spouse with home dinners.  
A good relationship
A good relationship

I hate the mother -in -law: how to get rid of hatred?

About 30 years ago, mother -in -law, as well as mothers stroked and washed bedding. Now everything is somewhat different. Even things for newborn babies are now boiling and does not stroke at high temperatures.

Adviсe:

  • This is due to the fact that modern washing machines have appeared that contain silver ions and disinfect clothes. There are also special modes for washing newborns linen. That is why the need for boiling, soaking, and bleaching things disappeared. Even modern shirts, as well as trousers, do not need to be smoothed out of the shooter.
  • If such a necessity really arises, then acquire things that are made of low fabric. Now there is a really huge number of such things, and they are all suitable for socks in the office. This will greatly facilitate your home concerns, and the need for constant smoothing of the shooter will disappear. It will not be superfluous to purchase a drying machine, since things in it are quickly dried, and most importantly, they do not think.
  • Therefore, stroking clothes will be much easier. In order not to upset the mother -in -law, try to introduce it to the benefits of civilization, and show that it is not necessary to engage in farming in old -fashioned ways. Modern devices, devices facilitate household chores. If you really do not like the mother -in -law that you cook little to your son, and he eats poorly, then highlight yourself a few days a month in which you will harvest for several days ahead.
  • What is meant? Buy meat, prepare minced meat from it, and then cutlets, and freeze them. Thus, you will have ready -made semi -finished products that you can cook very quickly. To conduct such preparation, you will have to spend a certain time, but in this way all the food will be homemade and very tasty.  
Scandal with my husband
Scandal with my husband

If the daughter -in -law will try to establish relationships in every way, and the mother -in -law is considered to be his enemy, it is unlikely that it will work to establish a relationship. Therefore, the main task is to explain the mother -in -law that you are not going to compete with her and do not want to share anything. Because the son belongs to you both and will devote time to both mother -in -law and daughter -in -law.  

Video: I hate the mother -in -law



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Comments K. article

  1. The most stupid point of view in this article. "Lay under your husband and his ill -mannered mother"

  2. The author itself, apparently, mother -in -law))

  3. In your eye, you need to see a log, and then the sorrinka of relatives. Hatred spoils a person. We must be able to love people and be grateful for everything.

  4. Idiotic article! Firstly, if you live with your mother-in-law, this does not mean that you must do everything around the house yourself! You got married, work, also a free housewife for your husband’s mother? Author, are you serious ????? I haven't read a more dumb article

  5. Honestly, I read the article, selectively. It’s not interesting. Of course, it can express your opinion .. Author, you claimed, not for reasoning, but for teaching? So, I was a demolition and mother-in-law, (I will still be some kind of time, time)). Being a mother -in -law, a couple of years ago I stopped looking for an answer: “Why is it so .. why my daughter -in -law behaves like that ..” The first mother -in -law behaved with me exactly. Not what she didn’t pretend to be, she was not imposed on her grandson or anything else. I was young, she received her education in her family, “no”. This marriage ended with my broken heart and a negative attitude towards mother -in -law. The second was completely different. The second mother -in -law treated me not so badly (intelligent, for the Bytovuhi), but she knew for sure that I “twisted” her son. If in the first case, there was a negative, in the second, I knew, I understood everything, heard reasoning on my topic: “10 years older, with a child, neither a stake, nor a yard ..” Girls, I was not offended and there was no anger. I loved him, his relatives, even loved them! Now I am a mother -in -law. I read it, (I thought), my daughter -in -law is not worthy of my son. I don’t care that she doesn’t cook, it’s not so important for me. Although, I like to cook, I do it excellently (how else to express my love, care, if not delicious to feed?), Let everything be lit up with junk, but this is an attitude towards me, (which means to my son), unbearable. And so, reasoning logical, (now I am convinced of this), what is our connecting link, with a woman, my daughter -in -law? That's right, my son. If he is with her, then they stand each other! Further, I can’t have complaints about her, I have a complaint about my son, right? And my son’s wife has a complaint to me, but again to his husband, (my son). And so, dear women, (daughter -in -law, mother -in -law), deal with the primary source of your problems, that is, with sons and with husbands. It's Complicated? No. It would be only a desire to understand. I wrote briefly, I do not pretend to be an article, I just have a daughter -in -law and mother -in -law. How many tears are shed ... how many years spoiled by the negative of life .. I think, thinking women will figure it out, others, I wish you good luck.

  6. When you marry a certain person, you must understand that this person was born from specific parents and took his physical and moral qualities from these people. For the most part, the four -character couple are transmitted genetically and are brought up in the same environment. If you do not like your future mother -in -law and father -in -law categorically precisely by the appearance of habits and behavior, then no matter how you love your future husband to get away from this family. Your husband is a copy of his relatives and they raised him (and education actually occurs before school), you will never correct the prosperity of a person, because so that you like him 100%. And with age, a person becomes even more like his parents, therefore, if the parents categorically do not like it better not to connect his life with this family, because your daughter may not be born like you (beauty and clever), but on a fat dull uneducated drunk - mother -in -law. Do you need it?

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