Oedipus complex in children - what it is: symptoms of a boy, girls, recommendations to parents

In children in the early stages of development, an irresistible craving for mother and father occurs. Often she goes into the Oedipus complex.

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One ancient Greek legend tells about Oedipus. He killed his own father, and then took his mother as his wife. People have known about this legend for a long time.

In addition to the fact that Oedipus complex A lot has been written in literature, it is known even in the field of medicine.

What is the Oedipus complex?

This complex is manifested when the child is at least 3 years old and a maximum of 6 years. However, the consequences of this pathology can manifest itself when a child becomes an adult. Often this phenomenon concerns boys: they begin to reach for their own mom, constantly conflict with dad. What is Oedipus complex? Is this the normal development of the psyche of the child or a certain deviation?

Important: Oedipus complex is a state when a child is very attracted to a parental parent. A child may feel jealousy for mom or dad, hostile to the parent of his gender.

In fact, this complex is considered the first attachment of the child to some parent. This is a manifestation of sexuality, plus the desire to constantly show it. The kid, attached to some parent, is trying to find in him who would treat the child in a special way. Often this is a mother for a boy. The baby begins to feel the strongest attachment to his mother, to be jealous of her to dad.

As mentioned above, the name of this complex occurred thanks to the myth, which described about Oedipus. The man who killed his own father in the future was brought up separately from the family, and therefore was not at all familiar with real parents.
One day he met with dad, and then killed him. He married his mother, not knowing the whole truth. They even had children. A little later, he recognized everything, blinded, and the wife of a man (his mother) hanged herself.

Of course, this case could not be so sad. Sigmund Freud talks about him as the normal development of children whose age is no more than 5 years. In addition, this complex may not even manifest itself, do not cause any symptoms. The famous psychoanalyst claims that such behavior is considered one of the usual stages when a children's psyche is formed at this age. He decided, by his example, to indicate that he was very in love with his mother, he was jealous of dad.

This term was officially introduced in the 10th year. The term was mentioned in the works of Freud. In it, he talks about how male preferences are formed when he chooses a partner for himself.

The famous psychiatrist Freud took the theory, which spoke about sexuality, for the basis of his own understanding of the development of the human psyche. As indicated in this theory, the children undergo some doghenital stages during development until they have puberty. Accordingly, thanks to these stages, the psyche of children develops.

During the occurrence of some traumatic cases or events, they are able to affect the future of the child. They appear depending on the stage that accompanies the baby at a certain age.

There are the following stages of development of a child that can form the Oedipus complex:

Oral. This stage can develop in the baby when he is no more than 1.5 years old. Each experience, knowledge of the world occurs using the mouth. In this period, as Freud points out, the baby directs his own energy only to himself. Mom’s chest, as one source of great pleasure, the child perceives as his property, and therefore never refuses her. At this stage of the growth of the human psyche, the first “notes” of self -esteem begin to form. If a child in this period does not receive affection, attention and love from his mother, he may be closed in himself in the future.
Anal. This stage occurs when the child is from 1.5 years old to 3 years old. Freud said that it was at this stage of growth of the baby that an important habit for him begins to form - the child begins to control his own physiological needs. Of course, the child is not shy about his own actions, and therefore, when his parents allow him to go to the pot, he tries to fulfill these duties. The kid can develop differently in a different way (it all depends on how parents will respond and position the accustoming of the child to the pot). If the baby punished or scolded the baby when he went to the toilet not in the pot, he becomes more restrained in the future. If mom and dad encouraged the behavior of the peanut, when he behaved correctly, then he will become a discovery in the future.

Phallic. This stage comes from 3 years, lasts up to 5 years. In this period of time, children begin to be actively interested in gender distinctive features, to put a huge number of issues that relate to how they were born. As a child, at this age, his own body becomes interesting. He can unconsciously touch the genitals regularly. But this does not mean that the baby is a pervert. This reaction is considered quite normal. Thanks to this feature, the baby can get acquainted with the world and most importantly, with his body. The first attachment can also occur in the baby. Mom is the first woman who becomes a direction for the child for the manifestation of sexuality. The little one is growing up, its own gender begins to be realized. He reaches for a person who is more attached to. In addition, the child can be jealous of mom to dad, who is for him an “rival” in a certain sense. The child simply does not want to lose the love of a loved one, for him she is, as something unique, which is possible to give only one single person.
Latent. It manifests itself in children whose age is at least 6 years and a maximum of 12 years. More precisely, it manifests itself when the child reaches puberty. In this period of age, the sexuality of a boy or girl is sleeping, almost silent. But the child may have an understanding of his own “I”, the concept of which frames must be adhere to, and which it is desirable to bypass. Thus, “Super-I” arises-a set of rules, standards of behavior that are dictated by surrounding people, are able to limit the possibilities of showing their own “I”. In other words, when compared with the stages described at the top, which are the basis of the manifestation of interests, the satisfaction of the physiological needs of the child, here it develops taking into account the specifics of socialization in our world.

Genital. This stage lasts from time when the child has puberty to old age. The stage is manifested as follows - the child is already beginning to understand his own sexual needs when he communicates with the girl (guy), plus realizes them. Of course, this does not mean at all that during puberty, a person simply needs sexual relations. The child should simply correctly direct his own sympathy into the right direction, which will manifest itself in ordinary communication. The desire of a boy or girl to spend more often time with the opposite sex, the realization that these are the first affection are the initial steps of manifestations of their own sexuality that are realized.

Oedipus complex: symptoms of manifestation

Manifestations can be very diverse. It all depends on the characteristics of the character of the child, on what parents he, the methods of education and the levels of liberality in a particular family. Children of different sexes behave differently, being at this age.

General symptoms of the Oedipus complex

For boys and girls, many signs are considered common:

Irritability. The kid is nervous, because they constantly press him in terms of psyche. The child cannot cope with the sensations that arise unexpectedly.
Whims. The child does not want to do something if mom or dad is not there near him. Make attention, the peanut uses different methods.
Difficulties associated with farewell. For example, if a father or mother goes to work. The kid does not want to come to terms that it is necessary to let go of a loved one until the end of the day. There is a feeling of property, and therefore the child will be constantly irritable if his native man leaves.
Refusal to communicate with other children of the same age. A frequent sign of the manifestation of the complex - the child refuses to play with the one -day, to make contact with them. The child chooses a mom or dad for the game, instead of communicating with friends.

Signs of Oedipus Complex in a boy

For the boys from the first day of the birth, the closest man is considered the one who is constantly nearby. When the phallic stage occurs, the baby understands that his mommy is also a woman. Her love, affection for him only sympathy that arose in this period. The kid, who does not quite distinguishes such types of love, begins to perceive in his address, as something amazing, does not allow someone to receive something like that.

Jealousy to dad is manifested by irritability, regular crying, if the father tries to pick up the attention of his mother, distract her or just start a conversation with his mother. For this period of time, the baby thinks that with his mother he is as one, and therefore does not want to share, and the Oedipus complex is manifested.

Dad is a person of the same gender, so he can be a competitor for the boy. In a word, an idyll that the baby invents in his head does not allow an extra opponent. The child does not want to allow someone closer, so that the connection with his mother, known to him, does not collapse.

Signs of Oedipus complex in girls

Oedipus complex It can also develop in girls. When she performs 3 years old, she begins to associate herself with a woman. She realizes that she is very similar to her mother, and therefore the first affection with her mother eventually become something more. The girl tries to copy her mother’s behavior, chooses her tastes, manners. In addition, the girl analyzes the choice of her mother’s life companion.

In this period, the ideal side of the family begins to form, where happiness personifies the father for mom and girl. Dad is considered a model, even a prototype. In the future, the child is trying to find a loved one like dad. She may have jealousy for her mother.

The attention that men show, let this attention come from the father will be the main thing for the girl at this stage of life. If the girl notices that dad’s behavior is completely not perfect, she will begin to treat him not negatively. And this can greatly affect the future of the child. It will be difficult for the girl to trust the guys, she will not be able to quickly choose a partner, as her prototype was completely imperfect.

Oedipov complex in children: Parents' recommendation

At the phallic stage of the development of the child’s psyche, take care of every sign that has arisen. Symptoms Edipov complexthat occasionally arise, are able to cause a negative fiction due to experiences. As a result, a variety of mental disorders in a child in the future may appear.

That's why you should remember how to correctly eliminate the Oediples complex in your child:

Confidence. Make sure your baby can talk to you if he really needs it. Many children feel that they are lonely. They do not express their experiences to parents. If you make contact, then you can quickly eliminate all the symptoms.
Attention. Often a sense of jealousy for mom or dad can appear from lack of attention. Children independently come up with various stories. For example, the boy believes that his mother fell out of love, loves only dad. Do not deprive your baby with attention, and therefore play more often, walk with your child. Configure an excellent relationship with all households, work out those behaviors that arrange everyone.
Communication. The questions that bother the child remained unanswered? The baby will certainly come up with a different explanation that will become correct for him, but not for others. For example, if your daughter does not want to understand why the father sometimes talks to his mother, not telling the details of the conversation to her, she will definitely think that she was lifted up. The kid will worry, to be jealous of mom to dad, who is always an ideal man for her. You must explain to your daughter that there is love for children and spouse (spouse). Thanks to you, the child must understand what place in the family chain is exactly he occupies.
Socialization. Do not let the child develop in a closed family. So he will notice only one type of love. Write down the little one in the kindergarten, on a circle where he will communicate with other children, will find friends. With this approach, you will achieve that the symptoms Edipov complex will be minimized.

Oedipus complex - The mental state of the child, which is only temporary. If you notice the first sign of the complex in the child, do not panic. Often, all symptoms appear unexpectedly, also disappear without a trace over time.